WouldntItBeNice, The Novelist
I've recently been able to get internet where I live again. Hopefully, my activity will go up. Anyway, I'm working on a rather large storygame right now.
Please rate my storygames, especially Solstice and No Quarter. Thank you.
PM me if you have any questions.
Steve is a time traveler, but he is not a superhero. He does not use his powers for battling evil or being evil. In fact, he does not even know what to do with his gloomy and crumbling life. Perhaps today things will be different. Perhaps today his present and future will be saved by... quite a special person.
Authors' Note: The endings depend on Steve's previous decisions. There is one special ending found half way through the game, one sad ending, two real endings that are found at the end, and the "true epilogue" that is the best ending. (The best ending has Stephanie in it in case you are wondering.)
This is a fan fiction of Led Zeppelin's song "No Quarter".
It is also an entry for the New Frontier Contest.
This is part of the School Based storygame contest.
This is Lawrence's final few days at Hawthorn School. Things become... memorable.
Thank you iavatus for being my beta-reader and At_Your_Throat for the cover art.
I fixed the scripting error. You can now receive 1,000 points by finding the ending shown to those who have the normally maximum score of 400. I also added your total score at the end of the game so that you don't have to post in order to see it.
This is the story of Ginny and Ethan's times at the carnival. As the years pass, can Ginny and Ethan's friendship continue or will their paths no longer intertwine? Will Ethan overcome his avid dislike of roller coasters?
Can their friendship bloom into something greater?
Okay, after viewing the comments, I too realized the massive error I had created in the original ending. Thank you Briar Rose, Bucky, and Steve24833 for you comments. I truly mean that. In fact, I burst out laughing (at my story) when I read the comments--especially Briar Roses'. Thank you.
Now, there are two endings. The first is the original (with a few minute changes), and the new one is much different from the other one. (They also wrote to each other because this story took place before the internet became widely public.)
You are a weary traveler in a mysterious land.
Recent PostsMorality Test Mark II on 3/27/2017 1:51:05 PM
Worst starts first. This time, I finally decoded the OP properly. The only deplorable person here is the husband. The others aren't that bad.
The Husband: got what he deserved. His first solution was murdering his wife out of an emasculated rage. Moreso, he wasn't even man-enouph to kill his wife instead paying someone else to do so. Lastly, he tried to have somebody else blamed for the murder.
The Exterminator: he killed Oleg to protect himself (and since his friend betrayed him) which is understandable. He's only this high since he cannibalized the squid lady.
The Cult: they only seem to want revenge and not justice. They also seem rather dumb; however, their method of execution seemed to be a little inhumane.
Leonard: committed adultery.Then, he lied to have the man who is a murderer (and trying to kill him) killed which is not a bad thing.
Harris: lied to have the man who is a murderer (and trying to kill his friend) killed which is not a bad thing.
Squid Lady: victim who committed adultery.
Oleg: poor choice in friends. Died to protect a man innocent of the crime. Did nothing wrong except not telling the truth immediately.
Morality Test Mark II on 3/27/2017 11:49:29 AM
Dang blastit, I confused some of Leonard's actions with the husband's thus screwing my analysis. Meh, I'll get back to this later.
Morality Test Mark II on 3/27/2017 11:41:28 AM
The worst is first:
Leonard, Harris, The Cult, The Exterminator, Squid Lady, Oleg.
Interesting comments 2 on 3/27/2017 11:20:32 AM
I'm pretty sure he republished it.
[SITE] 1 EXP for commenting on a story on 3/26/2017 9:00:39 PM
You've covered the points just fine.
With a high enough length (~80 words) criteria, this idea is one I'd be fine with. The last point that I haven't brought up yet is how this'd cause even more points to move to reading and away from writing storygames. Thus, there probably would be some increase in points for writing good storygames that'd be suggested. Hopefully, 3J will consider this, for it could work out quite well.
Hello on 3/26/2017 8:42:07 PM
I wish you the best of fortune. Be sure to take heed of the advice that people will give you and don't be discouraged if your first storygame is around a 3/8. Shoot for the stars, but we expect a high quality of writing, storygame mechanics, and grammar. (There's many helpful members here, however, who can help you if you have any questions though.) Using a beta (test reader) is also a good way of getting feedback before publishing.
Read some of the good newer storygames as well in the recently published section. For example, mine. (<- that's unapologetic advertising.)
This community has a wide variety of user personalities, so not much you'd do will harm you. Nonetheless, don't post useless, pointless things (obviously). Don't publish hastily and poorly written storygames (again obviously). Don't make alts (aka alternate accounts) and pretend to be somebody else (once again obviously). Finally, do use proper grammar and spelling. In essence, use common sense (even though it is lacking in many younger individuals who join this site). So far, you're doing fine.
Anyway, enjoy the site. It's a rather nice place when you get to know it.
[SITE] 1 EXP for commenting on a story on 3/25/2017 1:54:29 PM
[I have a proposed amendment to your idea at the bottom. Sorry for the delay.]
I think there’s a very large concept that at the center of this problem. Why do people comment at all? Some people comment for the sake of being featured (which is still a very good thing). Others comment to give advice or point out flaws in the story, yet other have a mixture of both. Nonetheless, there are many comments that have been submitted that have no chance of being featured and not particularly helpful that are submitted anyway.
This brings us to the question of why people comment without the goal of exp. Without the exp goal, there only reason that can encompass the other two categories is that the story motivated the reader to comment. For example, first time (and competent) publishers have a great deal of comments for their story. Why? Our community wants to encourage the author and help him/her improve. For example, my first story had four comments in which were extremely helpful for my future projects. In fact, I was quite happy with just about every comment. If my comments would have been full of short, approximately four-word comments, I would have been discouraged. I would have seen that my readers did not feel motivated enough from reading my story to do anything meaningful. Instead, they rated and commented on it out of more selfish ambition: gaining arbitrary points.
Now, the intended goal here is to increase the quality of the site which is obviously something we all want. Let’s say your idea works: each cyoa receives longer and more comments without undue work for the mods. This may still not improve the site, or at the very least it wouldn’t help me (which I’ll get to later).
First, there are the rather worthless comments that people would give. Heck, I could make over 1,000 points by just saying “This game is good” or “This game is bad”. This is minimal effort for a large reward. In comparison, EM’s Rouges is taking a massive amount of time with the reward of 123 points (100 for the featured story, 10 for being published, 3 for the daily commendation, and 10 for being most commended). Why would authors wish to write when commenting is such an effective way for gaining points? Thara gained controversy simply for racking up an insane amount of points without publishing a single story. (Note: this is not a criticism of her. I am simply using her as an example.) I hate to see somebody not contribute anything beyond simplistic comments and rating a storygame (which can be done without reading anything by randomly clicking links until one finds the ending).
Second, are comments truly this worthwhile? CYS is a writing site, thus we want to write and improve out writing. Comments are integral parts of this site, but reviews are better. To clarify, we all want somebody to post a meaningful and notably long comment for the work that we’ve put so much time and energy into. Giving a point for any format of comment wouldn’t be that much of an increase to the worth of proficient commenting. Instead of having a featured comment giving one point, it now gives two (or three after rating the story); meanwhile, instead of giving nothing to the author (or one point after rating the story), a tiny comment would give two points (after rating the story). This means a featured comment decreased from giving 100% more points than a non-featured comment to just 50% more. That is not fair to the featured commenters when considering their effort.
Thus, I wish to propose an amendment to your plan which would eliminate the blemishes that I believe currently exist. Perhaps, the length of the comment has to be high, about 80 words or 400 characters using a validation method, in order to receive that point. For example, the first paragraph is 79 words, 364 characters, 442 and characters with spaces long. A comment of that length would be long enough to be either: A. meaningful or B. random ranting and thus quickly deleted. This way, the short comments will not receive points, the comments that are featured anyway receive a point, and those comments which are still long yet aren’t quite good enough to be featured will receive a point as well. In essence, good comments with sufficient effort will be rewarded while those short ones won’t be.
[SITE] 1 EXP for commenting on a story on 3/24/2017 11:29:26 AM
I hope you don't mind, but here's my two cents.
While the idea does seem quite beneficial (since I always appreciate comments), out of principal I do not think this would be effective. People who consistently comment meaningfully (you, Steve, Mizal, Thara, Minnie, et al) have been doing so even though there is no automatic points. However, since the comment can be featured if it is of high enough worth and quality, it would give the user both a commendation and a point. That is already a very nice incentive.
Additionally, this would be highly unfair to users who have already commented on storygames. I, who have not commented on many, could receive over a thousand points by posting generic comments on the storygames. Users like Thara, with several featured comments already, would not be able to acquire the point from a second comment. If the coding changed so that they could still by making a second comment for those who already commented, then it would seem highly odd to give a point for commenting to somebody who has already posted a featured comment fot that storygame.
Finally, comment spam would become a problem. If somebody wouldn't have commented without the incentive, then they did not wish to put out the effort or time. If they simply wanted another point, I'd expect them to put out a comment that involved little effort or time. As a result, Minnie and Thara would be giving End Master countless comments to delete in the Draw My Attention threads. EM would have to delete the comments which would cause our mods to do even more deleting (and less writing).
Thus, I believe that the detriments (more deleting, more spam, unfair disadvantage to users who previously commented) outweigh the benefits (comments that may or may not be helpful).
A REAL Motivation thread on 3/22/2017 5:52:35 PM
Natural disasters have reversed the Mississippi's flow several times including one instance that lasted for 24 hours. If the reversal in flow needs only to be for a specific section, you could use that as an excuse.
Question and Update on 3/21/2017 5:03:57 PM
As for the update, it's slowly moving forward. I'm hoping it'll be an 8/8, and I think it will be in Everything Else. I'm not quite sure.
Also, I know that many of you don't give two hoots over progress reports, but I'm trying to hold my lazy-arse self publicly accountable.
Anyhow, my question this time is how do view accents? After being annoyed at the homogeneity of my story's dialects, I'm trying to have differentiable ones though I'd prefer not to annoy you if you don't like it. For example, I have one character who speaks in the following manner (though my example starts mid-paragraph and it is not italicized in my story):
"The tub? Yes, it works real fine. Oh, you want to know why it’s there, right?”
“Well, those things aren’t ‘round here. You ever see one before?”
I hold out nine of my fingers.
“Oh, then you might like the story behind it. My boss, you’ve met her. Her late husband shipped it to her as a courting gift. It worked, but he was a mighty bad fellow. He died. Now, she doesn't take care of that tub. I s’pose it’s retribution if you get what I’m sayin’.”
Fun Fact: that's closer to how I talk than how I speak when typing.