, #40 for
played 3,658 times (finished 299)
"walk in the park"
"A well spent lunch break"
"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.
Mysterious times call for mysterious measures.
It was pretty good, I suppose.
The writing overall was definitely pretty good quality, but the plot was a tad strange and didn't really feel like a good storygame subject. I really did enjoy your writing, I just kind of wish it wasn't about a minecraft ghost that doesn't exist.
The storygame was very linear at some points. Some of the page transitions were a bit tough to understand since a few details were often left out.
The characters didn't exactly have a lot of development, so I recommend if you write another storygame you give the characters development and personality. That being said, you did have a bit of an excuse here, since the only real characters were the protagonist and the mysterious Herobrine.
The grammar and spelling was very good, and I didn't see any errors in my playthrough.
I didn't see a lot of branches that actually impacted the storygame significantly, so it didn't feel much like a CYOA.
Overall, you definitely put effort into this, but it still has many cons. I hope you write more in the future. 3/8.
on 7/25/2017 3:23:02 PM
Your grammar and spelling weren't bad by any stretch. You also weren't lazy - when two options led to the same eventual outcome but with different means of getting there, those means would be accounted for on the outcome page (some authors will not bother making changes to the outcome page, leading to inconsistencies).
With that said, your storygame was linear. Having multiple choices on every page is pointless if every choice leads to the same outcome.
The pictures were mostly broken, but the ones that were showing up didn't always match the situation. The opening scene is dense fog and your picture shows a forest on a sunny day. The positioning of the pictures was also a little weird.
I also want to know how the main character was able to craft a sword, shield and armour in the middle of the woods.
You obviously put some effort into this storygame but none of the choices impact how the storygame plays out, and there is very little plot or character development.
on 3/12/2013 12:06:50 PM
Well I actually liked the story until right at the end when I kept going back to find a better ending... and there wasn't one. Was kind of annoying. There's some other games where you ultimately die no matter what you do, but they tend to have some deaths that're better than others. The ending in this game just felt like I'd lost.
on 11/27/2012 11:23:19 AM
on 9/10/2017 6:44:17 PM
I died the end. XD my choices weren't the best.
on 12/23/2016 1:55:20 PM
THAT WAS SO COOL (lol) =)
-- MinecraftiaPvP on 4/22/2016 3:25:42 PM
Not bad....Could use a little more work.
on 4/6/2016 12:08:38 PM
I' m pretty sure this is closer to Minecraft then real life, and while it could be a fantasy story, I suggest you put this story under fanfiction. Also, I think you are better of using Minecraft pics.
Overall, could've done better.
on 3/16/2016 2:53:03 AM
is there a good ending?
on 12/1/2015 6:48:18 AM
it was a really exciting story that built up alot of tension as i was reading. it was sad though when it ended as i was enjoying it.
-- charlotte on 4/27/2015 6:42:40 PM
Show All Comments
Help & Info
Who Is Online
61 guests and
version 20170008 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2018, Halogen Studios Entertainment |