Love & Dating
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 271 times (finished 30)
"no possible way to lose"
"A well spent lunch break"
"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.
It doesn't matter what they say...
I read (and commented) on this storygame two weeks ago, but my mind keeps on coming back to it. The reason may not be what the author expects, for I absolutely love the narrative delivery especially for a shorter storygame.
Initially, the driver of the plot is the reason for the two's isolation. I wanted to know what happened and why it happened. It seemed to be a pretty standard occurrence. In the town, I was confronted with memories from a time long ago that were both sweet and bitter for the protagonist. I started piecing together the plot in what felt to be a very organic manner.
That is what I liked about this storygame so much. I was just wandering around a town looking for some supplies, but it used non-linear narration to fuel my desire to continue reading. I could feel the loneliness and the cold (both in the literal and metaphorical sense). Never once did I find anything that seemed forced upon by the author.
As for improvements, I can't point out much. There's no grammar or spelling error (an easy way for me to normally criticize). There's no plot-points that make no sense or "lol random" moments. Heck, there's no instance where I slogged my way through a section that drug on for too long. I can't even criticize it for being linear, for I do have choice as the reader along with not being shoehorned into a path.
Anyway, this is a great storygame that might even be worthy of a featured position.
on 11/18/2017 12:07:02 PM with a score of 0
Mizal, I have to say that this story had me choked up. The way you wrote this book had a delicate somewhat feel to the book, and I loved how intricate it was, and the plot was really touching. Mondy is indeed like a porcelain doll.
I loved the serious feel to it, and I'm actually glad that you didn't write it for comedic purposes. I commend you on this game as it was beautiful and extremely touching.
I didn't notice that many grammar mistakes or misuses, and I'm quite relieved. As Alekos had stated, "the vagueness of Mondy and the entire village is amazing," is quite true.
You wrote the most heartbreaking and beautiful story which I have ever read by you. It was serious, tragic and it was filled with romance, and I adored it. Fantastic job, 8/8.
on 11/6/2017 8:21:05 AM with a score of 0
Edit: nevermind that last part, after reading some of the comments it seems apparent he is some sort of doll oops
on 11/7/2017 8:39:10 PM with a score of 0
It was kinda short but I feel that the substance of the story makes up for it. It was well written and you set up the scenes and places with a good amount of description.
It seemed to take quite the turn at the end, but it makes sense to me. While I can't be absolutely sure I'm pretty sure a certain somebody is probably a cold, stiff, corpse or something lmao.
on 11/7/2017 8:37:05 PM with a score of 0
I saw the ending coming, but I rather liked the story (for reasons most likely different than Dini).
I was very fond of the middle. The tone and "feel" was somber and cold.
on 11/6/2017 12:36:55 PM with a score of 0
I like the way how the story progresses throughout, and how you're slowly revealing the history of the protagonist and the overall setting. Though that story took a quite different turn than expected. I feel like I need a shower..
on 11/6/2017 9:16:23 AM with a score of 0
The vagueness of Mondy and the entire village is amazing. It is almost like Mondy is a doll, since almost everything the main character does for him seems so. But he is sick...so yeah. Good stuff Mizal!
on 11/5/2017 7:37:01 AM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Help & Info
Who Is Online
62 guests and
version 20170008 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2017, Halogen Studios Entertainment |