The Wormtongue Journals: Book One

You have a lot to work on here.

First of all, it's another "part one," with no sequels or anything, so it's incomplete and I have no sense of closure because I don't know how it ended. It's a shame, because this was good writing, but I think the ratings fell a bit because it's incomplete.

Like I said, the writing was pretty good and I liked the plot you had, because it was an interesting concept and you fleshed it out quite well.

I'm glad you included a small amount of humor in this. (R. Kain sounding like Arcane.)

The character development was alright, but I think the only characters you put any effort into were Doctor Kain and the main character, but even the main character didn't have that much.

Please publish something complete, because this was good. I hate to give it a lower rating then I would have for being a part one.

3/8

Eh. Nice idea, I guess, but it is not really developed at all.

It always causes me to pause when I find one of these stories that describes itself as a "Part One", especially when the story is so very short. Mostly I pause, because most of the time the author does not return to complete it, and the story just hangs without any resolution whatsoever. This story is less than 3000 words, and its content barely constitutes a prelude. What happens here barely introduces a story, and just drops you when there is something interesting to explore. Since this story is so old, I doubt the author will come back and finish it.

If one wants to see an example of storygames done in parts and done well, perhaps look at the Homo Perfectus games. Each one can stand alone, but each successive one adds to the story of the last.

The writing is not bad. There is a little bit of branching, but not many choices, and the story is incomplete.

Overall, I rate this story as incomplete. A nice idea and concept that could have been good with enough effort.

Cthulhu? Is that you? Oh no it's a premise of a knowledgeable deity-type summoned via book/name. Disappointing.

I only did about three pages and then it ended. Did I do something wrong because I only chose the most logical answers?

Great premise and start of a story that ends abruptly. I wish there was more here to read, but alas tis but a fools wish. For I know that will never be.

The premise is good and the writing stayle fun, but the story is too short, doesn't quite flow properly and there are many SPG errors. A decent start - could be a great story with some development.

this was very short

I read "Wormtongue" and I assumed it had something to do with Lord of the Rings. Ignoring that, I thought the game was pretty good. Nice and dark, even though I didn't really understand what the book was about or how all the events linked together.

okay then

1 big problem, don't give people the option to read the book if it just ends the story, just make them read it or something