Zurigul the Incompetent
, #29 for
played 1,023 times (finished 165)
"no possible way to lose"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.
The silly adventure of Zurigul, the most incompetent lich in the land of Ragholme.
This was in Storygames In Need, and the title seemed promising. So I decided to check it out. I do not regret that decision.
When I saw the word count of this, I became more skeptical of the quality of this, butt decided that not much time would be wasted if it was bad anyway. This was a very short story and did not have a lot of choices, but every choice it did have led to a new scene, which made it feel a little larger than it was. A short story is not necessarily a bad thing either. While this could probably become more easily, it felt as if it was all it truly needed to be.
There were a few small grammatical errors throughout, but nothing that pulled me out of the story or made it difficult to read. The narration style was a good choice and really set the tone of the story quite nicely.
If you're a weirdo who actually reads comments before the story, check Zurigul the Incompetent out. It will be a pleasant five minutes for you.
on 6/1/2019 12:05:56 AM with a score of 0
Interesting start and setup for the first scene. The single choice there works well because it really is a serious change of scene. But when we get to the second page and once again there is a single option, I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to get any choices in this story. There are certainly some choices, and that is helpful.
I like that each choice appeared to lead to different happenings and different endings. There were really only two choices in the entire story, though. And wait, since I’m a lich, why wouldn’t I keep coming back? I think that would really improve this story tremendously: each time the spells and potions didn’t work, why not send the reader back to the part where you wake up? They could still have all the choices and try to get past the paladin. Then, if you wanted to be real creative, you could add a special choice that leads to a special ending that only appears after the reader has tried all the different options (all four of them) available to them. That would be pretty cool instead of abruptly ending as the story currently does.
This story is a nice idea, I love the concept. I think it really could be a lot more with a little more effort and some additional choices and options. Thank you for sharing this one with the site.
on 6/30/2018 6:53:50 PM with a score of 0
No comment, it’s just too wondrous.
on 6/11/2019 4:05:14 PM with a score of 0
If you like comedy that gets to the point this one is for you.
on 5/31/2019 8:13:29 PM with a score of 0
whteves it was okay
on 5/22/2019 9:13:25 AM with a score of 0
It's very fun, I hope for a longer version!
on 5/20/2019 3:36:17 PM with a score of 0
This storygame seems a little rushed. Maybe if you spent a little more time on it, I would give you a higher rating. 2/8
on 4/19/2019 5:07:52 PM with a score of 0
on 3/29/2019 1:31:45 PM with a score of 0
Full disclosure: I only played through one path. This storygame was really short and had some good ol’ lighthearted humor. It was so short that I didn’t feel any sense of accomplishment after finishing. I understand the ending to a 3/8 length game won’t leave the reader with the same life-questioning feelings and utter realization of the futility of life that accompany an 8/8 epilogue (an “epic-logue” if you will), but there should be some sense that the journey is complete.
The path I played didn’t always seem to make logical sense. One part in particular stuck out as something that shouldn’t have happened. On your way to pick up ingredients for a poison, you run into the person that you’re planning on poisoning and you tell him your plan to poison him... Even worse, he just lets you go by! Now that might (emphasis on might) make sense if you are more of a nuisance than an actual threat, but I think you’re actually more powerful than the bratty little kid lich you’re made out to be. You spent your life as a wizard creating a powerful artifact to keep you from dying and you’re the only lich “alive”. It seems like you’d be smarter or more powerful than you’re written to be.
Some sentences were worded awkwardly:
“Your body is drained of every last ounce of energy, and are completely unable to move”
“It is your goal in un-life to conquer this land full”
I do like the wording on the opening page where your body is written like a separate entity that has a "mind" of its own. There are a couple sentences where you are persuading it to act a certain way and the imagery works well. Not a fan of the bold “HATE IT” (second page I think). The emphasis is clear, but I think the fact that you hate all the happy, wonderful things described before is enough to jump out at the reader. The formatting makes it looks informal and doesn’t belong in a published storygame.
Although I rated this rather low, it was fairly entertaining and definitely more fun than some of the other stuff I’ve seen published on this site. The lower rating was mostly due to the irrational action, story formatting, lack of choices, and short length.
on 1/7/2019 1:01:11 PM with a score of 0
"How kind of you Zurigul! Ever since the gardener passed away this area's really lost its charm, I'm happy you were as concerned about it as we were! You even brought my favorite patch of petunias back to life!"
Disgusted by the bright colors in the surroundings, you storm off. Unfortunately you trip on a newly-sprouted vine and smash your skull in on the brick road."
I seriously suspect that this game was made to make fun and mockery to the Lich King... so called Underlord? ;D
on 12/8/2017 1:15:35 AM with a score of 0
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