Nakuyuurei

Well, I’ve decided to give this review as much work (and as many words) as the author put in, which is to say none at all (and 73). I’m already at 28, so I probably shouldn’t be wasting words like this, but it doesn’t really matter. This game is an absolute mess. That’s it. Just unpublish this already and take an English class. You do know what English is, right?

TLDR: Lol, fag

I can't imagine how futile the act of writing would feel to this author if they could see themselves in this moment. Despite the (admittedly minimal) effort they were willing to put forth, the things they were trying to convey, the story they wanted to tell, are still trapped entirely in their own head as if they'd written nothing at all.

In this game you might just barely meet a girl before it ends.

Each page has a sentence of prose, then there are choices. After two clicks or so you are dropped onto an empty page or on the endgame page.

Normally I would talk about characters, but there is no real characterization in this game.

Normally I would talk about plot and pacing, but there is no real plot in this game.

Normally I would talk setting, but there is no real setting described in this game.

Normally I would talk about branching and there is actually a bit of that before the game suddenly ends, so let's talk about that.

So the game branches quite aggressively with multiple options on every page and sometimes even four of them. Unfortunately much of the branching doesn't actually give you a meaningful choice. For example deciding wether to hide in the closet or under the bed isn't a meaningful choice. The player doesn't know anything about the bed or the bathroom when they make the decision, so the decision on the best hiding spot is best left to the character.

By contrast the decision whether to hide or confront the intruder is meaningful. The author is giving the player the choice whether to play a game where they are a coward or a game where they are bold. That's good.

Unfortunately all choices lead to quick ends.

I always thought that people write such short storygames because they get tired of writing. But how can you get tired after 73 words? It seems that the author ran out of plot to write. This is very sad. I even made a help page to help people out who are struggling to make a plot. It is here <a href="https://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=4396" target=_blank>here</a>.

In the present state this game sucks. I would rate it less than 1 if I could. Dropping me on an empty page or an end page without warning sucks particulalry. But at least someone wanted to write a story, that has to count for something ... so if you are author reading this, please keep on writing, but next time finish the job before publishing.

[This review is more than 5 times as long as the entire game, and I wrote it in 5 minutes]

dawg

Goddammit, man. At least throw a page saying "you died" in there and then have an end link instead of throwing random ones out there on what look like normal choices. And maybe, you know, actually write pages instead of leaving the "this is a new page" text and not even putting any fucking links on it. Also, this comment is exactly as long as the entire game is. Well, now it is.

ts sux lol fag