In my page list, the page is there but everytime i make a destination for a page, i can't find that page on the list that i can choose from
Are you trying to link to a page in a different chapter?
Not sure if this is the problem you're having, but if you're using the basic editor, page options tend not to show up in the list box immediately. Most of the time you actually have to log out and log back in before they do. It's a pain when you're doing looping and such.