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Fire Within

A spark flight takes, a flash of flame,
A firestorm that engulfs the haze.
It pulses hot, it roars loud,
A thunder that thunders through the cloud.

It bites and tears, an unresting sea,
A tempest raging deep within me.
Flames that scorch, hot and burning bright,
That turn day to darkest night.

But in the heat, there is a key
A call to change, to break free.
For anger's flame, though hot and burning deep,
Can see the right from all the wrong.

Its my first try so im open on recommendations

I never critique poetry, but congrats on instantly being a more viable human than Kage.

thanks

Actually I was wrong, you turned out to be far more annoying and so is your alt.

Who's the alt? I'm curious.

Probably TDuck

Hm, someone summoned me..... wait, what. Why am I the most probable alt of the user daiki aomne whom which I dont even know? Why am I the first person on your hit-list to blame :-(

The timing of his disappearance/disqualification due to using AI for the comment contest and then your sudden appearance to join the same contest are very suspicious. Not to mention there's an IP match on some them popping up.

It's mainly why your comments haven't been getting featured. Not sure what you can do to change this, since I'm not bothering to even look at yours and focusing on known members.

Probably would have been best to have not joined the contest, since you can't get out of it now and you're bound for SHAME unless one of the other admins really does believe that you have written at least one comment and features it.

Spying on peoples IP adresses hmmm. ( well, this site is for writing stories isnt it, I will just do that, maybe write some reviews that the mods ACTUALLY like, who knows ).

Oh, by the way, cant I be in the same country as someone who got disqualified from the summer contest, cant I lurk around as a guest and seek an opportunity to join when someone leaves? It isnt a one in a million chance is it? Anyways, I decided to focus on writing rather that rating anyways, so adios EndMaster. 

You are retarded.

Say whatever you want, I cant/dont want to change your mind anyway.

It's not bad. Decent imagery and good word flow through most of it. You do a good job of maintaining the flame/fire imagery throughout and bringing your other symbolism back to it.

There are a couple places that are a little rough that could be refined with better word choice. It also feels like you need to decide whether it is going to have a rhyming cadence through out, or be free verse. Doing both undercuts the emotional impact as it make people thinking about the non-rhyming lines more than the symbolism. "Thunder that thunders" is awkward. You might try something like "A thunder that rolls/washes through the cloud" reads less awkwardly to me. The phasing of "Flames...burning bright, that turn day to darkest night" is interesting. I can see what you are going for, but it feels weird to say that the flame is burning bright and thus making the day dark. Maybe something like "Flames that scorch, hot and burning bright, that make the bright day seem the darkest night". Along thse same lines, the very last line just doesn't seem to flow with the rest of the poem at all. Maybe you could go with something about fire burning away the lies to reveal the truth or something like that.

thanks, I will work to improve my poetry skills