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Hi everyone! Just thought you'd like to know the first three of pages for my mech defense game. It is the first three pages, so bare in mind that this won't be action packed so far.

Page 1

Welcome to the laboratory, I will assemble you into my human!

Beep.

Name: Machinery

Beep.

Sex: Male.

Beep.

Body Mass: 17

Beep.

Human Profile Complete, Begin story?

Page 2

Remarkable! Now you need to step out the doors, to begin training. Good luck Machinery!

Page 3

Hello, I am the trainer! I will teach you how to control your character in this story.

Here you are.

Punch- Melee

Stab- Melee

Shield- Defense

Forcefield Button- Emergency Defense.

I'd suggest offering the player a choice of gender. It's pretty standard in these kinds of stories.

Also, combat in CYOAs is... tricky. I'm not going to say you shouldn't do it, but yeah... good luck. Feel free to look at my storygame Hunter for an example of what NOT to do. ;P

I liked Hunter ^_^

Thanks... I do hope to return to the concept someday, with a better combat mechanic and some actual story. ^_^

My story has no gender choice.

You do get to choose other things though.

The important things, such as. "Who do I want to has the coitus with" Too bad you can't because you are dead!

ONE MORE REASON WHY IT WILL FAIL HORRIBLY. :P

Eh, I don't actually think gender choice is mandatory. Helpful, but not mandatory.

Endmaster doesn't ever give you a gender choice <3

And he is always right.

Always.

I think that giving characters in a CYS a name kinda kills the immersion, not to mention that most readers won't like being called Machinery as a legit name...

Page 2, describe the lab, describe your purpose, describe everything.  If you deprive your readers of content, they will go hungry and angry.

Page 3, I'm hoping those choices will lead to an explanation for each of them.

Thanks for the ideas. I will try and upgrade to my best of standards.