I've just published a demo of my first story 'Dead Of Winter" been meaning to finish it for a while so have re-written some parts and added a few pages, just wondered if I could get some feedback on it please, just a few tips on what needs improving and changes you'd like to see to it, hoping to make it much much longer than it currently is if possible maybe publishing it in a couple of parts.
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/dead-of-winter-(demo)
