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hay guys I have made a DEMO

plzz tell me how can do better


https://chooseyourstory.com/story/pressure-e

Do what I said: run all your sentences through Microsoft Word spell / grammar checker first (or Grammarly), develop a plot, develop branching, don't praise your own illiteracy and don't say you'll follow advice and then ignore it or people will assume you're a troll or an idiot or both and ban you. Believe me, if you publish this story in its current form all you will get will be a ton of criticism varying from the helpful (me) to the abusive that you almost certainly will respond badly to. Giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you're not a trolling account (it's hard to tell the difference between trolls and those not over-blessed on the intelligent quotient scale because they're usually the same thing) if you're fixed on being a writer despite the fact you can't spell three-letter words like "hey" you MUST get someone or something to proofread your writing for you.

On the bright side I'm pretty sure you haven't got AI writing your stories for you. Or, if you have, it's very, very broken.

Thankfully, you have this set so that no one can see it but us mods.

I already told you to read some of the other games on the site so you can see what readers are looking for. I see you didn't do that. But, well, failing that...what's the last book made of paper that you read and liked, and can you tell us why your own story contains none of the same elements that made it good to you?

I'm just not in the mood to engage with any of this, you seem almost proud of your lack of basic English. Work on that first by reading more good books before worrying about writing. If you don't care enough to make you writing presentable, then you don't care about writing and have no real reason to do it.