Non-threaded

Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Find proofreaders here, useful resources, and share opinions and advice on story crafting.

Sanity Preview

12 years ago

Hey, I've been working on a story for a while, it's gonna take a bit more time, but I have a sizeable chunk of it done. I thought I'd post a small preview here. If you're interested in knowing more, just message me. :-)

 


     Oh my, that's a strong memory. Maybe it's the best place to start.

     "What are you talking about?"

     Pay attention. The hallway begins to fade out. Now you stand inside the anteroom of a college hall. Beside you is a pretty girl. A pang of sadness strikes your heart as you realize it's Abby. This must be a memory of when you were still friends, because she's smiling... she's happy.

     "Jake, it's snowing!"  Abby smiles warmly at you. She's so beautiful. 

     "Want to go outside?" You say, nudging her arm with your elbow. "We can't just stand around admiring it. We have class in a bit."

     "Of course I do. Will you keep me warm?" She asks mischieviously. Your heart skips a beat. Is she serious? Lately she's been saying flirty things, and you're hoping you're not just misinterpreting her signals.

     "Yes. I'll always keep you warm." You take hold of her hand, and she blushes.

~--~--~

     The memory fades away, and you're left in the hall. Cyprus is back, watching you. That wasn't too bad, was it? What happened that day?

     "I finally got the courage to ask her out. She said yes. It was the happiest day of my life."

     Good. I think you're ready for more. You nod softly. Cyprus reaches out and touches your shoulder. Behind you, you can hear a door open. I'll be here, call me if you ever need me. He's gone once more, but you can feel him nearby.

     You turn around and look at the open door. It looks oddly familiar.

Sanity Preview

12 years ago

I have a few questions, what's the genre of this storygame? Love and Dating? Also, can you give a quick description of what's it about?

From the preview I can say that I really like your writing style, you use good detail and the story seems to have great potential in being very emotional and touching.

Sanity Preview

12 years ago

It sounds great! I'll PM you some  questions.

I heard the author of the new story game was white. i'mma go shoot her

 

 

 

 

 

A friendly PM welcoming her to CYS and asking some questions :P

Sanity Preview

12 years ago

Sanity is for the weak!  Sounds interesting.