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Idea for web series

11 years ago

I am planning on submitting an urban fantasy/young adult web series on a web series hoster (jukepop.com)

The plot:

Ashley wasn't an average kid to start out with. She was very rich, popular, pretty, and attended a very expensive boarding school in Rhode Island. Then, one day she found out that her mother died, and left the east coast to live with her father, who is paralyzed from the waist down. There, she finds out that her father is not only a sorcerer, but also a keeper of dragons. She learns how to take care of them, while recovering from the loss of her mother, and the lack of social interaction that comes with living in the middle of no where. 

(The writing won't be this bad, I just wrote the entire plot down in one paragraph, so ya)

Ideas/Criticism? 

Idea for web series

11 years ago

Uh, I dunno if you meant it to be this way, but stuffing in wizards and dragons into a very 'modern' setting raises multiple issues. Aside from it being out of place (though that can be fixed with a lot of background), you need to put a lot of explanation.

Why is it important for her father to be a magician aside form giving you a plot? Are there others like him in this day and age? Etc.

Idea for web series

11 years ago

Ashley had an awesome life.

Suddenly dragons.

Is basically what I got out of it.

Idea for web series

11 years ago

Nonono, you do not come near to understanding the subtle nuances and infinite possibilities displayed by this master crafstman's work. Look at how the prose carefully signals the approach of something both greater and weaker than dragons, a shocking discovery that would both frighten and entice the very most uninquisitive of souls.

Ashley had an awesome life.

Suddenly dragons and magic.

Idea for web series

11 years ago

Wait so Ashley starts off rich, popular and pretty and then she also gets a wizard dad AND goddamn dragons?

Ashley's silver spoon mouth can go suck it.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I for one won't support such obvious 1% privileged rich get richer propaganda.

At least not until you explain the world's situation with magic and dragons in greater detail.

Idea for web series

11 years ago

Yeah, right off from the start, I don't know if people will like Ashley as a main character. Rich, beautiful and popular usually mean snooty, egotistical and shallow. Personally, I think you'd benefit from a more relatable lead character. Maybe a geeky girl who spends every lunch time reading books in the library and all the kids at school throw rolled up balls of paper at the back of her head... Also she could look like one of those girls from the annoying teen romantic movies where she's basically just a super model who wears baggy clothes, needs glasses and has her hair up in a ponytail. Then later on in the story, you can do the cheesy makeover scene where somebody puts her in a dress, gives her contacts and takes out her hair scrunchy. Then everyone's like... "OMG! I can't believe she's hot! She is now socially acceptable and the most popular guy in school can go out with her!" cheeky

Idea for web series

11 years ago

No one will se it coming...