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I'm currently in the midst of writing the story, so this story is unfinished. I have a general sense of where I want the story to go, but I want some opinions on what I have already written. I will also need some editors sometime along the way, so anyone who is willing to volunteer is very welcome to do so.

To give you the full scope of what I am ready to present (I have slightly more than this, but I'm not ready to reveal that yet), I have put indicators next to the choices to direct you to the completed pages. Enjoy!

This has a lot of potential.

Thanks. Is there anything tone-wise that is unusual/in need of changing?

Well apart from the serial killer housing a unusually mature and strong 7 year old, no.

I laughed heartily at the "unusually strong and mature" part. What gives her these qualities in your eyes?

Her parents just died, and she is still capable of functioning with better grammar than most teenagers, and she was able to fight back against a grown man, something that a 7 year old girl would not be able to do physically. although I think this is because she is also a sociopath.

GREAT story, top-notch writing for this site. Really enjoyed it, HUGE potential. I'm writing an fantasy assassin story myself, but this is better in my opinion, and I tend to have a pretty inflated opinion of my own work... really good writing! :D