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Taking another crack at a slice of life story to prequel my last one. I was wondering what you guys think would be better wording for a child's mind, as some people who have massive vocabulary give the child's thoughts it aswell.

For example. Thoughts of a five year old

Example 1 "I never experienced fear as much as the dread his had caused. I imagined blood clotting my head as my vision became a haze with the vast quantities of fear that piled up through my body. Sweat trickled down my chin as the bed started to shake violently causing everything around me to spasm as Wicked voices starting scratching my ear drums calling me join Satan's circle and be cast out from my mundane childhood, I would be parting this world soon, I give my prayers to my friends as darkness eclipses my vision."

I see this style of writing even when showing ones past childhood or the mind of a child.

Example 2 "Tom always said I was a scardy cat, he would laugh at me and I didn't like that. This was scary though, My head felt funny and I started see red like Amy's dress at school. I could hear voices, it was like that scary movie my big brother Nick watched that made me get in trouble for wetting the bed, it wasn't my fault, Nick tricked me and was being a meanie. I wanted to cry, but Nick says I should stop crying cause I'm a big kid now. Sometimes I can't stop though, things are just really scary. I just need to hide again and everything will go away."

Simpler wording with some off tracking. This is what I would think better fits but I'm guessing some people would mistake this for bad vocabulary.

Which style would best fit for a child's vision of things.

I like the second one, it's more fitting for a child.

Definitely the second one is better fitting for a child. But it's still a little advanced for a five year old. This is more how my son talks. He is eight. My five year old talks even simpler than this. Kindergartens have simpler thought processes. Just my opinion as a parent having interaction with kids daily. Hope this helped!

The first example is in the past tense though. (well, mostly...are the last couple of sentences the mistake, or the rest of it?)

If the story's told in the past tense, and you don't actually kill the character off during it, I'd take the first one as a story being related by an adult, about what happened when they were a child, and there wouldn't be any issue with the character's voice.