Gryphon, The Dramatist

Member Since

4/16/2021

Last Activity

12/1/2021 9:00 PM

EXP Points

726

Post Count

131

Storygame Count

2

Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses

Order

Sage

Commendations

105

Hello my name is Gryphon, and welcome to my TED talk.  Today I am going to be talking about why EndMaster is great.

1) Brilliant worldbuilding concepts.  EndMaster’s stories such as Eternal, Rogues, and Paradise Violated show rich and deep universes.  Eternal takes traditional fantasy races and concepts, and gives them a much darker spin, with the Derro and Svelk both being much more extreme versions of their traditional fantasy counterparts.  However, this connection to traditional fantasy doesn’t prevent them from being fully-rounded cultures in their own right.  The Svelk have an incredibly long and bloody history that is only ever hinted at, and the Derro’s maddness and aversion to sunlight is a truly unique culture that I was pleased to see explored in the semi-sequel.

In Rogues, the world is a more traditional “fantasy” world, where races are more traditionally represented.  Here, EndMaster’s skill at worldbuilding shines through with his assembled pantheon.  Each of the gods perfectly fits the tone of the setting, and has potential in both a heroic and villainous role.  The goddess of knowledge, a traditionally positive concept, can be downright ruthless in her acquisition of information.  The god of shadows, while clearly an amoral trickster, comes across as more chaotic and curious than outright malicious.  These same gods also play a role in his story “legend”, on infinite story.  Here, the player has the opportunity to be a cleric for any of these gods.  The versetility of these options makes playing a cleric a highly intriguing and flexible option, and widely deepens the worldbuilding of that setting.

Paradise violated is a shorter work, but one with no less dedication to the setting.  Each of the races encountered by the protagonist has its own distinct style.  I particularly liked the characterization of the earth-based nation through the protagonist and Indoctrinator Salo.  Earth has clearly turned into a horribly xenophobic and religiously zealous place, yet the narrator is still a sympathetic character, and many of his pathes show there is still hope for members of earth breaking free of this stifling culture.  The scenes in the cave system are also very well done.  The dangerous feel is exactly like traditional dungeon crawling, yet with a sci-fi flavor to it that makes the whole thing more mysterious and exciting.  The variety of endings in this game also serves to develop the world, and showcases how easily things can change.

2) Memorable and distinctive characters.  There’s a little too many for me to go into in detail, but I’ll try to cover the ones I thought added the most to their stories.

Ulivik- One of the most unique characters in the game, for bucking the otherwise ubiquitous “evil svelk” stereotype, and for more or less remaining a relatively moral figure in what is a very dark world.  He symbolizes the fact that in this path, the narrator approaches simple heroicism in a way he doesn’t come close to in other pathes.

Gruz- What a fucking badass.  An original character concept, executed in a way that is both sympathetic, and genuinely surprises the reader.  This guy deserves 3 novels and a video game.

Alison- Similar to Ulivik, her moral sense was refreshing.  I also liked how she didn’t take any crap from the Eternal.

Semra- The only thing one can conclusively say about Semra is that she is very, very well-written.  She’s truly original, and pretty much uncomprable to any other character anywhere else.

Tanya- Both her original state and how she was after her transformation were fascinating concepts that were explored in a satisfying way.  Her relationship with the protagonist was surprisingly innocent, despite the circumstances.

3) Deeply immersive writing.  This shows most in Eternal and Death Song.  Eternal is the story of an entire lifetime, and when you read it, it feels like you’re living one.  The story covers an immense amount of ground, yet each scene is important to the narrative.  It covers the protagonist’s entire life in a balanced way, showing the mundane along with the fantastic, while still making each plot thread entertaining and intriguing.

Death Song takes advantage of the connection to Necromancer to show the reader familiar events from a different perspective, forcing the reader to consider not only the horrible situation the protagonist is in, but also to consider the fact that they’re a little complicit in all this.  It doesn’t have as wide a scope, but it plunges much deeper into the protagonist’s head and the devastation facing the world.  This story showcases some of EndMaster’s best “writing” writing, and demonstrates that while he’s excellent at writing epic masterpieces, he’s just as good at making less grand-scale moments deeply personal and powerful.  It’s one of his most unique and powerful works.

Reading a story by EndMaster always feels a little like getting hit by a truck (in a good way), and reality always feels a little surreal afterwards.  This just goes to show how immersive his writing is, and the skill with which he brings the reader into his world.

4) Benevolent overlord of CYStia.  Under EndMaster’s rule, CYStia has seen nothing but triumph after triumph, and elevation of all citizens to further glory and power.  EndMaster has also encouraged further participation in the site through his contests.

In conclusion, EndMaster is a brilliant writer who has brought nothing but prosperity to CYStia.  He’s easily one of my top 5 favorite authors of all time.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured

Storygames

Capture the Flag

=For End Master's Manifest Destiny contest=

When Alexsis starts trying to steal your favorite seat in the school cafeteria, things get serious.  The pair of you decide to resolve this dispute in combat:  a game of capture the flag.  Can you beat your nemesis in a game of capture the flag, and reclaim what is rightfully yours?

This story is a short cave-of-time style game with seven possible victory endings.  Happy flag-hunting!


Featured Story Ruins of Anzar

When a thunderbird attacks you while you search for the missing Professor Keirz, you crash-land on a plateau near the legendary ruins of a ruined Anzaran city.  You must make use of the resources around you to repair your damaged flyer, find your missing friend, and unlock the secrets of the ancient Anzaran temple.

An open-map item-based puzzle game with one good victory ending, and one great victory ending.  Good luck exploring the ancient Anzaran plateau!

For End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest


Articles Written

Creating an Equipping System
How to create a system that will keep track of which item a player has equipped into a specific slot, such as having a "sword" in a "weapon" slot.

Recent Posts

Bondo and Tman have a debate on 11/28/2021 4:40:03 PM

Lol, sounds just like someone I know!


Bondo and Tman have a debate on 11/27/2021 5:58:20 PM

If it is Cricket, I'm going to need other people's help here.  I've never interacted with Cricket, and have read maybe four of her posts.


CYS current events memes on 11/27/2021 2:39:35 PM

I made some memes based on CYS current events.

CYSMeme3

CYSMeme1

CYSMeme2

CYSMeme4


Completion. on 11/27/2021 1:59:59 PM

Two quick questions:

 

1) From now on, do you want me to send you my chapter notes whenever they're done, or would you rather I wait until I finish the entire book?

2) If so, do you want me to post chapter notes in this thread, or PM them to you?

 

PREGAME GREETING:

 

Readthrough notes:

-I like the theme of your chapter titles.

-You need to do a readthrough for spellling/grammar, or use an online tool that does one for you.  It’s not as bad as it might be, but there are enough mistakes to be noticed.

-Paragraphs should generally be indented.  Not a big deal, but it makes it a little easier to read.

-You start the story with “he”.  I recommend using “Alexandrian” instead.

-In Sipps coalition, should Coalition be capitalized?  I’m unsure of the grammar rules here.

-Commas after dialogue should be within the quotations, not outside of them.  Any time you start a bit of dialogue, it should be capitalized.

-“Teeth that slouched upon one another like drunken old men” is a great bit of imagery.

-The colon on your second page should probably be a semicolon.  I’m going to stop mentioning grammer/spelling stuff now, because there are online tools and resources you can use for that.

-I think you’re overusing colons, they’re good for effect, but lose impact when you use them too much.  See if you can replace a few with periods.

-Huh, you use aliteration a lot.  Interesting.  It’s a distinctive style.

-You use the word “wenches” in an odd context, did you mean “wretches”?

-You use a few obscure words.  That’s fine, just bear in mind that encountering a new word can break reader immersion.  I’d keep them for description, not emotionally tense scenes.

-I like the alliteration, but make sure you’re not forcing alliteration just for its own sake.  There’s a couple places where I think more basic wording would be clearer.

-Soulwax?  Intriguing.  You're doing a good job introducing worldbuilding elements.

-The witch’s dying scene is quite interesting and grabs the reader’s attention.  Well done.

-Generally it’s a bad idea to have your first narrator die after one chapter, but I think you pulled it off pretty well.

 

Plot notes:

A strong start!  You’ve clearly established the tone of your world and setting.  You establish and hint at worldbuilding elements without overwhelming or underexplaining.  It’s action-packed and well-paced, but it’s clear you’re not just starting with a battle for the sake of starting with a battle.  Most importantly, you quickly interest the reader in the world and characters, which is the most important part of an opening.

I don't have much else to say about the plot and characters yet, because this is just the first section.


Daji Mystery Thread on 11/26/2021 1:15:10 PM

Lol, glad to hear it!  Could you use your admin powers to transfer 30 of my points to Daji?


Daji Mystery Thread on 11/26/2021 11:37:29 AM

Yeah, that was my main confusion, I couldn't think of a reason an admin would need or want an alt.  Finished the profile btw.


Daji Mystery Thread on 11/26/2021 10:26:28 AM

Oh lol I thought it was going to be something embarrassing.  I'll write it up.  You can have my 30 points, though you probably don't need them.

Previous point still stands, though.  I could post a pro/cons list for every suspect, but I'm not really sure where else to go in terms of investigating.  Especially since there's no actual way to conclusively prove your identity, short of seeing your IP address.


Black Friday Random Question! on 11/26/2021 10:19:15 AM

Padlocked


Black Friday Random Question! on 11/26/2021 10:19:05 AM

I'm gonna guess A.  I don't know why, I just have a hunch.


Daji Mystery Thread on 11/26/2021 10:16:57 AM

I'm just not sure where else to go from here.  I've already made a fairly detailed post with my guess and why I think that, but it's been neither confirmed nor denied by anyone.  I could go assemble some more evidence for my guess, or I could make a pros and cons list for each of the possible candidates, but I have no guarantee that doing so would prompt a reveal.  And short of a reveal, there's no way of being 100% positively certain about your identity, since any of the evidence I've mentioned could have been someone else faking it, or multiple people being deliberately in cahoots.

Since I'm here, I'll add further points of evidence to my above list.

Evidence in favor of your being EndMaster (in addition to what I already said):

9) You commented in the Dueling thread minutes before EndMaster commented saying he just read it.

10) EndMaster has made no response to my accusation.  If I accused him, and it wasn't him, I'd expect to be publicly mocked.

11) Either EndMaster, or somebody deliberately pretending to be EndMaster, gave Bondoggle 100 points shortly after he had already received 100 points at the same time you lost them.  This suggests some sort of transaction.  Bondoggle then immediately began accusing Mizal, which makes me think he was trying to throw us off the scent.

Evidence against your being EndMaster (in addition to what I already said):

4) Your profile description now reads "True Queen of Kek", which would suggest that you're female.  However, as you already implied you were male in PMs, this could just be misdirection.

 

I tire of this speculation.  I will wager 30 of my points that you're EndMaster.  If you choose to accept this wager, and you aren't EndMaster, then I forfeit 30 of my XP points, and will change my profile description to the message of your choice for two weeks.  If you accept this wager, and you are EndMaster, then I gain 30 points for a correct guess.