MrAce321, The Reader

Member Since

11/19/2020

Last Activity

5/19/2024 10:20 AM

EXP Points

0

Post Count

402

Storygame Count

2

Duel Stats

19 wins / 8 losses

Order

Warden

Commendations

20
Hey, I'm Ace. To do list: Escape triple shame Done: 7/5/22 Complete 25 well thought out reviews Progress: 15 Write a story with a rating above 5 Here is where I keep track of the stories I've reviewed. If I reviewed your story and you're curious as to the rating I gave it it's on there. Reviews

Storygames

A City Lost

This is a story about an artificer making his way through the world. Making choices who shape who he is and who he will become. With even his motives shifting based on his choices.

Authors Note:

This is an entry for EndMaster's prompt contest.

The prompt was, "This story’s protagonist is an artificer, magical blacksmith, or creator of magical weapons. You can translate this prompt to a sci-fi equivalent if you want."

I managed to make this story into a complete product with all the content I wanted in the time given, but I didn't have time to polish the prose much. Please leave any feedback you have. And just for fun make sure to include which of the nine epilogues you got or your favorite if you read multiple.


Bound by Light

This story is about a paladin who is on a quest to investigate an unkown evil out west, joined by a lighthearted mercanary.

Authors note: This story was made in a few days for Corgi's Lords of the land 2 contest. Not really proud of it, but it is what it is. Please leave any feedback you have in the reviews because while I know time could've improved the prose, the plot seems to be lacking something that I'm not sure of.


A Tale of Freedom and Chains
unpublished

Crime PG story
unpublished
dcas

Placeholder for story about PG
unpublished

No


The Candy Man
unpublished
paper slingers but with kids selling candy in boarding school

the mystery man
unpublished , coauthor

you play as a 69 year old (you decide their gender [their name is put with the selected gender] before the story starts) who has a mysterious visitor show up at their door at 5:29 AM every day. YOU and only YOU must find out who (or what) this mysterious visitor is or else...


Recent Posts

Free Reviews Here! on 5/13/2024 11:40:26 AM
I second this, one of the best stories I've read on the site.

Free Reviews Here! on 5/13/2024 9:06:38 AM
Well, I'm offering, at least this once. Just waiting for someone to reply with a story.

Free Reviews Here! on 5/12/2024 10:22:20 PM
yo anyone want a review?

Hamilton (The movie) on 5/10/2024 4:41:54 PM
Back in 8th grade I really liked Hamilton. I listened to the soundtrack a bunch and memorized most of it. But eventually it kind of faded for me, and then it came out on Disney. And when it did it was so cringe for me. I liked it on Disney, but anytime anyone agknowledged its existance I wanted to die inside. Now I think it's a neat musical, there's a lot of information conveyed and it's done really well. But a part of me still cringes because I liked it in middle school lol.

Steve has returned on 4/29/2024 10:58:56 PM
is he lawyer now?

2nd CYS Review Competition! on 4/24/2024 10:06:59 PM
Review: I didn’t initially start off that impressed with the storygame. It was massive, so for its scope and competency I probably would’ve always rated it an 8, even if it was nothing special. But I was wrong, and this story has made me reconsider my views on what I like in a storygame. I want to get all my thoughts on this story out, so if you haven’t read it, massive spoilers for the entire game. I’ve read through all the endings, might’ve missed a death or two because I didn’t track those, and I believe that reading through all the endings is the only way to really get the most out of this story. Each path is good on its own, but there’s a lot you’ll miss by only getting a few endings. I’m going to start by reviewing the pieces of the game as I came across them at the time, and then I’m going to go into more general thoughts. So first I went down what I assume is the facility 3 path. Not really sure if it is facility 3 or not. I’m actually really glad I went down this path first, even though I don’t think it’s the main one. I thought the preamble was pretty decent, though the village boys aren’t that memorable. Fields is okay I guess, I don’t like him that much but he is a character with a little depth. I think there’s only a few character in this game that I think have really solid characterization, one being Rebecca and the other few being in different paths. But that’s okay, not every story has to hit it out of the park in every area. I like the lore that’s sprinkled around the facility. First being the human growth experiments, which is nice set up. I think I realized after reading that the monster that killed Corey and is roaming the facility is one of those, and different from the beast. Then you see a little about facility 3’s relationship to facility 2 and the set up for the books. All of this lore and stuff is my favorite, I really like it. And then you get some lore about how Cassie has the book, and I haven’t met Cassie at all at this point. And apparently Eddie gave it to her? I don’t think that’s explored at all, the fact that Eddie gave Cassie the book that created the beast, but I assume that contributes to his guilt a lot, if he even knows that’s where the beast came from. So after killing the monster and stuff there’s the purity wing. Now this is part of the story I don’t understand. There’s all this stuff with the mother who has a deformity and the baby, but there’s no other reference to it in the story. Now, in the description it says that this story contains references to Warden and Monster, so I have to assume that this is a reference to Monster, since I’ve read the Warden and it’s very clear where that’s referenced, but I haven’t read Monster. Now about the night mother. There’s no way she goes so long without being killed. The justification is that the button operator was spiteful so why should he correct the company's mistake. The only problem with that is presumably if he killed the night mother then the monsters beating down his door would cease to be. So he’d get to keep his life. The only rational I see is that he knew if he killed the night mother the company would kill him for insubordination, which is fair I guess. The company itself could also press the button after facility 3 fell, but I see why they wouldn’t want to risk destroying the books. Now the endings for this path are pretty decent. I think my “canon” ending based on my natural choices is the fame and fortune ending, and I like the other ending. Going back I picked up the other bad and neutral endings that stemmed from “go on the hunt” choice, and I got to say I don’t think this is the main path of the story. But I like that I did it first, because knowing more about the lore from exploring facility 3 put a lot in context. I expected more from the “go with Eddie” choice though. His character as a whole isn’t very well explored, but again that’s fine with me. Because the intrigue here is about the world and lore for me, and less so the characters. Now as far as the “Go to Cassie’s” path, I am so glad that I went to facility 5 before Cassie’s house. Because I genuinely think it would’ve been a much worse experience if I hadn’t. But more on that in a bit, I think in general it’s cool to see an active facility is still around after facility 3 is just ruins. Side note, facility 3 must’ve got exterminated relatively recently, since they had to have given Cassie the book 3 years ago, so the monster that Rebecca sees before she drops was there ten years ago, long before facility 3 got exterminated. Anyway, I like reading the little text entries, and at the time I didn’t even notice that the mirror entry was talking about Warden, which is a cool reveal. I went down the mirror path first, not realizing that the cafeteria path is a short one. And I have to say, Kayla is my favorite character in this game. She is characterized so well, and her and Rebecca are the main two characters that I feel attached to, maybe Cassie but not so much. I first did the path where you eat dinner with Kayla, missing the prisoner path entirely until I went to search for the three endings I was missing. I really like this portion of the game, and love just spending time with Kayla. My main gripe is that after this you go to Cassie’s house, and you could’ve gone there from the start. But if you went there straight away then you would’ve missed the entire mirror world, and it would be way worse. Also there’s no way a player that went to Cassie’s house first who was looking for all the endings would think that they had to go to cassie’s house through the mirror world to get one of them, I’m talking about the endings where Cassie stays as a monster in the mirror realm. I’m not sure that you can get void of life any other way. Either way, I like the stuff with the house. I did the attic stuff first and then the basement. The reveal that Corey was the monster gave me chills, especially since I had read like 60% of the story at that point and had no idea. One thing I wish we saw more of was Ethan, he was kind of just a random guy in one of the good endings. And I still don’t know why Corey didn’t get revived when the ritual went bad. I feel like he should’ve been, though that would be bad for the message of the story. Though I thought it was really clever, the one ending where the bloodstains messed up the ritual. That mostly summed up my experience, I liked the other endings, like the experimentation ones. I feel rewarded for reading Warden, and I’m glad that’s the one with the big cameo. Like I said, the characterization I feel is one of the weaker points, I felt Rebeca and Kayla were done amazingly, and Cassie was pretty good. Eddie was okay, we don’t see a lot of him. One thing I typically don’t like that this story does is rebranching and having choices that don’t matter at all. But it’s done well here, a lot of things are just for flavor and it’s fine. I like that the endings were numbered and I could keep track of how many I got and how many were left. If I didn’t know how many endings there were I don’t know that I’d finish the game, since I hate the feeling that I didn’t explore everything, and I wouldn’t know if I had or not due to all the rebranching. Overall, as I said at the start, this game is a solid 8/8. Sorry if this review was long winded and rambly, I just wanted to get all my thoughts out about this very long game. This is less of a review and more of a collection of all my thoughts about the game. This story was very rewarding to read and explore, and it’s motivated me to want to read more giant stories. 8/8

Lucky me! on 4/16/2024 6:35:00 PM
Me too! It was even titled "CONGRATS!!"

So... This is a thing on 4/15/2024 12:42:28 PM
All these different wrong ways to say a simple name.

So... This is a thing on 4/15/2024 12:02:57 AM
It has always been, and will always be, pronounced miz-el. This miz-all propaganda has gotten out of hand.

How to make choices matter? on 4/13/2024 9:22:44 PM
Personally as a reader, this is what I like as far as the choice types that Mystic laid out. I prefer to read stories where all the choices are either type 5 or 7, type 3's also being fine but they tend to be less used. This is because when I read stories on here I do so with the intent on reading every page, and with that goal in mind type 4's make it annoying and type 6's make it impossible. This type of story where every choice either leads to a branch or a death are called cave of time stories. And these are the ones I prefer to read, a lot of (if not all) the stories EndMaster writes fall under this category. The trouble with it is that without type 4's it is really hard to have choices beyond just death choices, because every other choice leads to a new branch, making the story spiral quickly. Type 4's are an easy way around this by having you choose what scenes happen but ultimately making the story not branch in the long run. In cave of time stories if you want to see all that the story has to offer with every choice it is straightforward to do so. This adds a lot of replicability for me. Which makes type 6's so tricky, even though they have great potential. By obscuring what choices matter and how you make it harder for anyone trying to see the whole story. For me, this turns a story more into a game, where you play it once and maybe a few more times to see different things, but ultimately there will be parts you won't uncover. And that's fine, but I prefer stories where I can uncover everything. So in short, I prefer stories without type 4's and 6's. But these choices can be used well, they just change the reading experience for me. 1 and 2 feel silly and not really worth talking about. Do a choice 2 if you want I guess and choice 1 just makes me roll my eyes a little.