Shadowdrake27, The Wordsmith
Wow a blank page with the topic of “me.” A normal person would have this full of exciting things about themself. Me? I would rather you read my work and form your own opinion about me. Unfortunately, I am a perfectionist with a job, family, and life... so my writing may come out slowly. Therefore, I will call myself a mystery. I act like I am 12, but am at least double that in age. I have been coming to CYS to read awesome stories for awhile. I am currently using it as a medium to plop down all the stories that have been in my mind with nowhere to go. Read them at your discretion, or don’t. I will have fun putting them out there regardless. Feel free to message me with questions, or just to talk, I like both bouncing ideas off people and chatting. I just might not answer right away if I am trapped in the real world at the moment.
*Disclaimer: I am not a grammar freak! That may show up in my writing and my reviews! Please comment if a story has such bad grammar that it takes away from the story! I am working on improving in this area. Of course, if I misuse one semicolon in a 200-page story, I am going to secretly judge you for leaving that comment! But I respond well to criticism usually so it will be okay.*
If you are bored try adding a page to this fun collaborative writing prompt on infinitestory.com:
Clearstone was a peaceful place where a man could forage his own path in life, but that was before Mad Dog Roberts took it over. Now Clearstone is owned by the Roberts Mining Co. and the people are little more than cogs in Roberts golden machine. This traveling cowboy isn't a part of that machine, and he isn't about to leave without a fight.
Matthew Mercia had never believed in the Day of the Dead the way his mother did. He didn't get excited to wake up on November second to celebrate the lives of relatives who had passed--until he was one of those relatives. Now he can only wake up on the day of the dead, so he only has tonight to walk among the living. How did I die? Who killed me? Why? These questions may just keep Matthew from celebrating this Dia de Muertos.
This story was written in four hours for Ectocomp 2019 with 4,500 words, 7 unique endings, and one epilogue. It is based on the All Souls Procession Weekend in Tuscon Arizona. No additional knowledge is needed to read the story, but if you want more information on anything look up the event!
Edited on 12/06/19: the tense switch on the first page was fixed. Everything else was left the way it was for the contest.
A suspense/horror story. It is about a cabin you inherited from your creepiest uncle (yeah you know the one). There are two possible endings. Good luck.
Tips: Use the link at the end to go back to the beginning, even if you die you can continue to play. Hit "Drive to cottage" after each play through and look for the room that changed. You will face a choice in that room that will decide if you live or die, again.
Let's write a poem together,
about nature or the weather.
Alternating lines, you and me,
writing in perfect harmony.
I will write a line, you the next,
our lais is a river of text.
Leroy and Mika are parting ways for two years. They have signed up for the Peace Corps and are going to opposite corners of the globe to make a difference in the world. Their shared loves are poetry and the environment. This lais is the perfect poem to remind them what they mean to each other; they just have to write it.
A 1,000-word story written for a contest with the theme of
nature environment. The game is a craft your own poem game. A lais is a poem written with octosyllabic couplets (8 syllable lines that rhyme in pairs). You get to craft the poem that expresses these two characters' love, and you get to decide if their love is strong enough to survive two years apart.
Actual word count is 936.
Merlin Ambrosius was just an electrician working in Britain. His last job was on an archeological site doing the lighting for what was believed to be the home of Merlin the Magician. He accidentally got himself sent back in time to the days of King Arthur, where Merlin Ambrosius became the sorcerer of legend. Did he serve King Arthur well as a trusted advisor? Was he a feared but well-respected as a sorcerer? Or did he get caught trying to fool the medieval prince?
This game was made for the Year's End Contest - Choose Your Own Prompt II. The theme was "8) This story has an original and sensible magic system, built from the ground up. The plot is up to you."
Magic is defined as the power to influence reality by using mysterious or supernatural forces. Rather than having characters learn to shoot fire out of their hands, my magic system is based on having limited technology in the past.
There are two main branches, which focus on different types of "magic." One caution is that some of the smaller pathways are similar, differing only by the puzzle you have to solve and ways you can fail. Also, when choosing between the "Lady of the Lake" myth or the "Sword in the Stone" myth, please note that these tales both involve Excalibur, so the story remains the same until after you make the sword of legend. After that part, these two branches have a different (second) puzzle, which can lead to various endings.
An answer guide is provided for electrical puzzles. For an added challenge, do not use it. Additionally, there is a walkthrough here if you want help finding all 12 endings. Good luck!
Special thanks to Reader82 and poison_mara for proofreading and play-testing for me. Without them, this story would have a few million more errors. Reader82 fixed most of my bad grammar, and poison_mara thought of adding the guide for the electrical puzzles.
Professor Gower sits in his big, big oak desk, glasses perched precariously on his nose. He lays a fountain pen down atop his grade book and steeples his hands with something of a patient sigh.
He has warned his students:
The purpose of this thread is to have a place to talk about smallish issues of language, style, syntax, grammar, word choice, paragraph structure, or whatever. This is for microlevel issues, not big stuff like "what should I write about?" or "how do I make interesting choices?" or "is that mole bigger than yesterday?"
Bring a piece of your work-in-progress, and let's all discuss it together.
It's worth 40% of your grade, and you may not have an extension.
Alas, no one has come to his office today. This is not an issue though: Professor Gower has better things to do.
Special thanks to TheChef for play-testing and proofreading.
The Description was mostly written by Gower, and the rest is the author's original account of the real adventures of the English professor that travels in time to ensure the safety of literary classics. While you can read this story on its own, it's recommended that you have some familiarity with the classic authors Homer, Marie de France, and Euripides. It's also recommended that you read The Iliad, Lanval, Medea, and Beowulf before reading this story. General knowledge of those works will be accepted for this story but will do nothing for your grades on Gower's quiz to follow.
There are two possible endings. There are also four authors to meet, four literary gems to save, and four historic items to frame in Gower's office; however, there is only one epilogue.
Please enjoy as you travel to the past to meet Gower's favorite authors.
Todd, a master of dark magic in a world that forbids it, has a chance to prove that dark magic can be used for good; unless he becomes the dark lord that everyone fears. Will Todd become a hero, or is he destined to be the villain?
More of a story with multiple outcomes than a game.
There are no right or wrong answers, although you have the option of getting yourself killed many times, and choices matter.
## unique epilogues are available.
On the first page, there is a link to background information on the world and how it is structured. This link is for people that like to have the basic understanding and context that the main character has at the start. It is completely optional.
Applicants wanted for an exciting and challenging position as the captain of a deep space mining mission. No former space exploration experience is necessary. We are looking for candidates with common sense and natural leadership skills. Press the button below to apply!
Responsible for all decisions made aboard the Endeavor mining shuttle.
Location: Outer Space
Job Type: Contract
Salary: 10% of any profits made. All losses will be deducted from base salary.
Every billionaire wants to get in on the space-race these days, and William C. Harrington is no exception. With an extraordinary budget, an abundance of passion, and an intense desire to never lose, he set his sights on colonizing the farthest star known to mankind--Icarus.
Traveling through space can be a dangerous ordeal; fortunately, the crew bound for Icarus has you to guide them. Will you gamble your life to fulfill the vision of your eccentric financier, change the mission to increase the chances of successful colonization, or explore space in humanity's first mobile colony? We are waiting on your orders, captain!
Articles WrittenBeginner's Guide to chooseyourstory.com
Recent PostsAsylum of Hunters on 4/19/2021 10:38:12 AM
Ahh, both ways are correct! Ignore that comment then.
Also, the beginning part does set the mood well. I don't think it's necessarily wrong, but it does read as cumbersome and unclear to me. Part of that is the point. It will get tiring after awhile though, I think, and it just doesn't align well with my personal preferences.
Asylum of Hunters on 4/19/2021 9:34:30 AM
Hmm... my feedback license is expired, but I'll throw out a few thoughts anyway.
Your grammar and such was relatively good. I don't have any of the usual advise like, "don't switch from past to presence tense ever sentence." However, I feel like there were places where you tried to make the sentences too complex and it just made things confusing. For example, "Somewhere past the old roads, a flame, pale and weak calls to you." First of all, I think it needs another comma after "weak" to be correct. second, I think, "a pale weak flame" would work better. You do a good job of mixing up sentence structure, in my opinion, so you don't need to force it in places where it makes your descriptions more confusing.
There were also some weird things like when the wind threatens to "tear the flesh from their bones" it makes the flesh sound like it belongs to some one else... I think that should be "from your bones" or something similar. There is also the pale flame that is "shifting into and fading from this realm and the next" which didn't really resonate with me. I have no idea what that means or looks like.
The only other grammar thing I saw was dialogue punctuation. You used commas where there should be periods. Here is an example:
"Now you are truly ready," he says, "the hour of the beast is here..."
In my experience, it should look like the following:
"Now you are truly ready, he says. "The hour of the beast is here..."
It's a small thing, but it showed up almost everywhere there was dialogue.
As for the story, I liked it. Somethings are really unclear, but I assume that is on purpose. Things like what exactly is the main character or who was he. Other things were sort of strange to me from your descriptions. It did create an eerie and mysterious mood, which is what I think you are going for. I would be excited to read more and see how it unfolds.
I do think some of your descriptions are great while others need work. A lot of stuff before the hunter gets to the cabin just didn't make a lot of sense to me. I read through it quickly, and I think it was supposed to be written like the character is in a haze, but it didn't really have the intended effect. Mostly because none of it was stuff that I could actually put an image to in my mind. You should try to replace some of the descriptions and comparisons with things that will paint the correct image for the reader even if they don't fit with what is really happening. An example is below:
"Disappears between this dimension and the next."
"Disappears as if hidden behind a cloud, even though none were visible in the dark sky."
The example isn't great, but I hope some of this helps!
Gower's Office Hours on 1/17/2021 1:30:56 PM
A period can go outside or inside, but I don't think you ever put both a period and question mark. The question marks go inside the quote if the owl's dialogue asks a question. It goes outside if the dialogue is not a question but the narration asks a question about the dialogue.
Did the owl say, "Hi"?
Did the owl ask, "How are you?"
There is a 70% chance I'm wrong though....
Gower's Office Hours on 1/17/2021 12:15:08 PM
I have a terrible history with grammar quizzes, but I have been studying professor! I'm putting an answer below, so don't read on if you want to guess yourself.
I think 1 is correct. 2 doesn't have a question mark, and three has double punctuation (which is never correct). Of course, this could be a trick question that says none are correct, but I can't find anything wrong with 1...
Best Disney Animated Movie? (DELUXE EDITION) on 1/16/2021 8:20:15 PM
I agree since I liked this movie. I found a few surprises in that list. For example, I thought Onward was fairly good. Not god tier, but it wasn't bad or pretend it doesn't exist. Maybe quality or fairly good. I also would (personally) switch Toystory (they had in quality) and Toystory 2 (they had in god tier). I'm glad the entire series is highly ranked though. All of those were good.
(100 word stories) Just a short thing on the spot on 1/5/2021 2:21:44 PM
Ahh, Sorry. It ruined another relationship. I like this one.
I'm not sure you need the all caps to indicate they are yelling, but it was effective. I would swap the order of the second sentence in the second paragraph so the speech tag is with the quote. It was awkward to me this way.
(100 word stories) Just a short thing on the spot on 1/5/2021 1:20:55 PM
"Dear, I'm a superhero," Gordon admits.
"Enough jokes, tell me what this is about," she demands, clutching a black pair of tights.
"That's part of The Shadow's super suit." Gordon reaches out and touches the leggings, turning invisible along with them.
His wife gasps, stumbling forward into her husband's arms. "I'm... sorry," she mutters.
"No, I should apolog-" Gordon starts, crumpling to the ground with a dagger in his back.
She pulls out her cell and dials a number. "Tell the boss that I took care of him," she says before hanging up and sobbing on her husbands cold body.
Happy New Years! on 1/2/2021 1:19:43 PM
Oh, this thread again already? My New Years resolution is to be lazy and not write anything. Based on my previous history, this will lead to me being suddenly motivated to write.
(100 word stories) Just a short thing on the spot on 1/2/2021 12:12:25 AM
This one is really good. I like the twist, and it was relatable to me watching a lot of shows...
(100 word stories) Just a short thing on the spot on 1/2/2021 12:08:41 AM
Yeah, I picked up on most of that. It's clear that you end up in hell and are constantly in a miserable state. Most of it came though, but the beast was a bit of a wasted plot line on me. The weather seemed more torturous than the beast, and it lined up well with the "hell was always frozen over" line. You probably could have used the same concept without the beast at all, if you were willing to make hell just a vast frozen wasteland where those trapped inside can never get warm or survive easily.
It's amazing how you start to value every word with a limit like 100 words, haha.