Goals Participate in a contest Get a review featured within one minute of posting Reach 25 featured reviews (STATUS: 18/25) Publish my first storygame Get a storygame commended Receive the Top Rater trophy Win a contest Welcome to my profile! I'm Mousecore, or Mouse. They/them pronouns because I'm three mice connected by one hive mind. I like to read and review storygames. Eventually I hope to publish my own provided that I lock the fuck in and not get distracted. Want me to be contractually obligated to read your story? Request me for a review at the Review Club. My PMs are open for those who want to chat, or you can ask for my Discord since CYS PMs are so 2001. Outside of writing and reading, I'm an avid enjoyer of sports, technology/programming, films, and gaming. I spend my evenings watching shitty movies, playing shitty games, and getting knocked out in rings. My Subjective Rating System

Rating	Reason
1	Not a story, game, or quiz; plagiarized or AI-generated
2	Is a story, game, or quiz that is not plagiarized or AI-generated, but terribly written
3	The concept might be intriguing, but the execution is not good
4	Interesting ideas with visible effort, but with glaring problems
5	A good story with solid writing, with one or two major flaws (or lack of personal enjoyment)
6	Well-written and entertaining with an interesting premise; has some minor flaws or one major flaw
7	A great story that I would recommend to anyone; has very little holding it back from an 8
8	Reserved for what I think are my favorite storygames on the site

A worthwhile read in my opinion is a short 4, a 5 if you're interested in the topic, and any 6+ rated stories.

Suranna ¯\(ツ)/¯

I don't feel bad. It's on them for willingly joining the 2026 blackshirts.

Hey, welcome! Good luck with your contest entry :)

So this was interesting. A big part of what makes flash fiction so challenging is having to condense all of the readers' necessary understanding of a conflict into a bite-sized piece. Oftentimes the problem with chasing brevity is that you might end up with logical gaps regarding the story, which can make it overall fall a bit flat. That's a lot of words to say: I'm a little confused by this piece. It reads more like an excerpt starting in medias res from a larger, more expanded work than it does as standalone flash fiction. The storyline is straightforward—the man's son assaulted the narrator's daughter, and the narrator took their rightful retribution against him. I think the thing that's really got me hanging is... why? Do we know what the circumstances were and what spurred the narrator into conflict? Why would the narrator attack the boy's father, but not the boy himself? Why is this a hill this man is willing to die on, on behalf of his son—not even trying to deny or cover up the crime committed, but saying the narrator's daughter should've been taught in self-defense? And in spite of all that, why is he so lamely defeatist? Maybe there's some motif relating to trivializing violence against women that I'm vaguely catching a whiff of, but I'm not sure that it's executed concisely here. This piece reads like we got dropped into the middle of an already existing situation, but without giving us any of the details that would make us care about what's happening. You're just kind of left saying, "...okay..." You could either try to flesh out this existing conflict more while still operating within the scope of flash fiction, or, like Rooster mentioned, keep people in suspense. Reveal what happened at a later point in the piece. Give the audience something to pay off! Just giving you some food for thought on how to establish stakes, amp up character development even in a really short piece, and make the readers care—give them the why so they can root for someone, or for something to happen. Right now, it feels like that something already happened and there's nothing else to look forward to. With that being said, I realize this is an older work of yours, and I'm not sure if you intend to go back and improve it because of that. Figured it's worth mentioning for future works though. And hey, even if you don't think it was your best work, it's good that you had fun writing it! Best of luck in the future :)

I thought this was cool! I wish I could offer more of a constructive response, but like Mizal, I'm not well versed in the technicalities of poetry. I think in spirals, loops in loops, a sentence eats the one before, I start with truth, end up with jokes, then wonder what I started for. This was my favorite stanza. My ADHD ass painfully relates to this. Nice job!

Made it to about 4000 words today. It's the roughest of drafts right now, but I'll spend a lot more time on it in the coming weeks and plan more accordingly.

> "Jews are running society and are going to make us all their slaves unless we rise up" > "I am beyond satisfied with Trump's second term." > "Whose values do I think he stands for? Israel's." honestly phenomenal levels of ragebaiting, gg cel

k

Never played Haze myself, just watched a video once on how shitty it was

Ace