Yeah it clicked my second time reading it, I probably should've run through it another time before I gave my final verdict. Within the context of the Ose's influence on others, it makes a lot more sense. It still remains my preferred story between the two regardless.

I read it as Graham had those thoughts prior to the influence of the Ose, which made that bit feel random. But going back and rereading the story, I think I misinterpreted the timeline, so it makes more sense in hindsight.

Story B takes it for me. I think both were well written in their own right and tackled the prompts appropriately, but Story A's pacing felt messy towards the end. Story B felt more cohesive, and I like the circular motif of "warding is a two man job." The whole "Graham has always liked little girls" thing was weird though.

"He cometh! He cometh! Lord Shark cometh!" is a cute line. This was a fun read overall. Nice job :D

The worldbuilding and continuity within EndMaster's stories are some of my favorite parts of his writing for sure. It's why I usually restart and play through his works a few times before finally leaving a rating (unless it's something I just can't read multiple times in one setting like Eternal), it feels satisfying to see my knowledge of the world expand from different perspectives and angles depending on where I went. Definitely something worth taking note of, especially since I've been in an EndMaster kick recently hah. edit: thank you father end :D

Surprise surprise, I've taken a break from reviewing to actually start outlining my first story on the site. After hammering out the crucial plot points and gameplay loops, I realize that branch-and-bottleneck is probably the best pathing method to use for this piece. With that being said, I would love to analyze some other CYS stories that use this branching pattern to see where I can improve my outline and make it more cohesive. For some extra context, I'm writing a story where the reader controls a cage fighter and gradually levels their character as they beat stronger opponents. There's a core gameplay loop of setting up a fight, the fight itself, then the rest of the storyline that follows until the next match (of course the story is just as important as the gameplay aspect here). If there are any solid games with this style of writing on here, let me know so I can give them a look. Thanks!

I haven't finished the founders video yet but man that is a cool piece of media to have. To think that this little college project is still looked after to this day is nuts.

I'll have to check this one out soon! I love a good Darren Aronofsky film, and Austin Butler's seriously been killing it.

Welcome to CYS! :)

Good on you. You'll get some use out of the paper soon.