Hey, I'm Ace. To do list: Escape triple shame Done: 7/5/22 Complete 25 well thought out reviews Progress: 15 Write a story with a rating above 5 Here is where I keep track of the stories I've reviewed. If I reviewed your story and you're curious as to the rating I gave it it's on there. Reviews

Well, hopefully one day I'll make something better than The Manliest Man, but until that day come I guess I'm just chillin'.

Obviously, I mean you can't cure Herpes, what makes you think you can get rid of me?

Damn, nice to see you back. Looking forward to more fantasy from you, that one game was really good.

You could write all 18.4 Quintillion of those words, and you still would never improve enough as an author to beat even benholman, much less any of the people you actually challenged. (Sorry for the stray ben, I had to find someone who is an established forum member but hasn't been established much as a writer.)

Wasn't planning on writing anything for the contest, but I took a long bike ride last night while listening to Bird by Bird on audiobook, and for some reason this kind of hit me and I was inspired to write it. So I woke up at like 6, went down by the river with my laptop and typed out the opening scene in like an hour and a half before my class. I haven't proofread it yet, so there's definitely some sentence structure stuff I should tweak. I'll probally disagree with this later, but it feels like the best thing I've ever written, so I thought I'd get some feedback on it. There's even a semicolon! God help me if I used it wrong lmao. -- The sound of the window shattering murders the otherwise silent night, with the shards of broken glass falling like miniature daggers, raining down on the floor below. Men scream as your body shoots through the hole like an arrow, hardly making a sound when you land in front of the room’s entrance, directly facing the room of men. In an instant, two daggers are in your hands; the sound of steel clattering fills your ears as they try and get their swords up in time. They fail. You feel the hot blood spray across your face out of the first mans mouth as he gurgles his last words. It stains your teeth, you feel the taste of iron on your tongue, but your laughs continue all the same. As he falls, you instantly push with all your might off the ground, causing the floorboards to crack in the spot you left behind as your body shoots toward the next guard like a cannon ball. Your body crashes against his, and you throw your weight into him, sending you both to the ground while your dagger plunges into his chest. You push off his body, causing his bones to break under you, as if his body were being crushed under a stone. You flip through the air, landing near where you started, the runes that line your daggers now glowing a vivid green. You take the second to take stock of the remaining enemies. Two guards on opposite sides of the room, the target, and a mage directly beside him. Trivial. The instant your feet touch the ground, you hurl your daggers at the two remaining guards. The mage, finally coming to her senses, attempts to protect the guards with a barrier, but it’s too slow, not fully formed, and they cut right through it, plunging into the faces of the two men. Before the men even have time to fall, the daggers are shooting back toward you, and before the bodies can thump against the cold, wooden floor, they’re back in your hands again. The nobleman scurries behind his big, gaudy, throne chair. A cheap imitation of a real throne, just like his cheap imitation of real power. It makes your blood boil, imagining him sitting there, giving commands, sentencing people to die like some kind of divine judge. But he is no divine being. And when his throat is cut and his blood stains the floorboards, he’ll shit himself all the same. “Halt.” The word pierces the through the air like a javelin, piercing you in the chest. Your body locks up for a moment, unable to move, but you send your own authority through your body, challenging this wannabe mage, and feel her authority crumble under you. As you step toward her, unhindered, her face curls into a grimace. “By the power invested in me as the ward of a first-class mage, I order you to surrender yourself immediately. I can promise you if you cooperate your life will be spared.” Her words come out a little too quickly, a little too forced, faintly bumping into each other like the people in crowded streets. You smile as you reply, “No. Flee and I’ll spare your life, little bird.” She grips the bronze badge hanging from a chain around her neck, an inscription of a bird carved into the middle. Her face knots up into a snarl, and the air around her begins to warp and twist, her authority bending the world around her. The room begins to chill, the windows frosting. You let her continue, standing still, until finally she releases her technique. Dozens of icicles shoot toward you like thrown spears. No, more like spears shot out of a cannon. Time begins to slow for you as you dance between them, glowing daggers slicing the ones in your way apart. You lips part, your laugh echoing the whole time as you dance through the storm of ice. One catches you on the shoulder, splitting your flesh as easily as an freshly sharpened sword would. It tears your shoulder apart, that dagger clattering to the ground beside you. But that doesn’t stop you, you continue to dance, one dagger left, that’s all you need. The mage’s face contorts with effort, the technique obviously taking a lot out of her. You drown yourself in the feeling, anticipating what’ll come next as you let the words shoot from your mouth. "Begone." Instantly her technique stops, the icicle inches from your face vanishing into nothingness in an instant, along with all the rest of them. Her face turns from dumbfoundedness to horror in an instant. You feel her authority pushing against yours as she tries another technique, but the world does not bend to her will. This is your domain, your world, and it will obey you absolutely. You take small, slow steps across the room, walking over her hunched up body on the floor, past her and toward your real target. Maybe you’ll let her live, killing a sparrow could draw unwanted attention, even if it is unlikely. You circle the false throne and come face to face with the sobbing mess of a nobleman, a lord of a few dozen acres down to in the south. Unimportant enough that you can still slip back into the shadows but still hefting quite the bounty. A perfect target. He tries to beg, but the dagger in your good hand already has his head off his shoulders. You come out from behind the throne to see the mage with one of the guard’s swords in her hand, eying the door. You debate letting her go for a moment but come to the conclusion that it’s safer with her gone, don’t want to worry about her getting her master after all. You look unimpressed at her sword as you bring your good hand up to your sliced apart shoulder, a command leaving your lips. “Heal.” Your shoulder knots itself back together and within a few seconds it’s good as new. A quick flick of your finger sending the dagger hurling through the air into your hand from where you dropped it, glowing its neon green. “Let me go. My master will kill you for this.” Her words are meant as a command, but they come out as a plea. You give her a pitied look. “You know I won’t do that. Any final words?” She stands there, knuckles whitening as she grips the sword. You thrust your palm toward her, focusing all your power onto her, until finally you speak. ”Shatter.” The sword rips itself apart, hundreds of metal shards spraying everywhere, digging into her face and ripping themselves into her flesh. Before she can recover you’re standing over her, a twisted smile plastered on your face. ”Die.” You walk toward the door, not looking back as you hear her body thump against the floor.

So I finally got through the introduction, which was really good but it’s hard to sit down and get through something like that when you really just want the story, but by the end I even sat through the translation note, which was surprisingly interesting. The introduction did an amazing job of hyping up the Iliad, when I was listening to it I was like “holy shit this book sounds amazing I can’t wait to read it.” I’m listening to the audiobook because it’s convenient, which is a lot more excusable given the subject matter haha. And it’s honestly really good so far. Anyway, while reading the first thing that stood out to me was me hearing the line “Cannibal king, you eat your people up!” And I thought that was fucking metal as hell, I was like “Holy shit this is actually so cool, fuck yeah Achilles!” And then I looked up the line online and people are using it as an example of this translation being bad? Like excuse me? I’m sorry that you’re so so stuck in your ivory tower that you need to be boring, but I mean this play was for the people, whoever Homer was, multiple people or not, all of the homers would agree that that’s a metal ass line. And this led me down the rabbit hole of this being a controversial translation, which I mean I’m curious what people think, but from digging it feels like elitists and incels mostly, so I’d be interested if there were valid complaints against it. So when I read fiction, I always find myself planted really nicely in the main character's shoes. I can think critically obviously, but a lot of my feelings come from me identifying with the main character. So, in this case it means I’m really in Achilles’s head and justifying everything he does, and am like “Fuck Agamemnon.” Okay but like, how do people think he’s in the right? He captures his “trophy”, and then someone comes to offer him fair compensation, it wouldn’t be an affront to his honor to accept, all his companions are like “Dude take it it’s a priest he could fuck us up” and he’s like “nah this is mine, I aint selling bitch.” And then Apollo starts killing and he’s like “Why should I have to give up my possession! If I have to give up mine then I’ll take one of yours!” Like it’s his fault solely, come on now. I will say, my analysis is ignoring the fact these women are, well, people, but I think given the time period it’s fitting And I get where Achilles is coming from, why should he fight? He warned Agamemnon, and Agamemnon is in charge, so now the Greeks can go suck a dick and fight their own war, shit I’d do the same! The only point against him really is the way he was crying to his mother, which I can understand, but it did seem kind of pathetic and self pitying at times, it went a little far. Like dude, you should be enraged! The introduction talked about how your rage is like the strongest among mortals! Not asking the gods like “Make them need me!! I feel unvalued!!” Anyway, as for the gods, I think they’re cool. I don’t know much about them yet, so I don’t have much context, but I do think it’s fucking hilarious how Zeus is litearly just a stereotypical wifebeater with how Hera’s son talks about him, obviously there’s more to him then that but the way it’s discussed feels so modern, translation perhaps? Of your questions, I think 3 and 4 are pretty neat, so I’ll answer those, as for 3 I think the way the author writes the divine is so interesting. Like, I’ve rarely seen other media where the gods are just so blatant and doing stuff all the time. Apollo is just murdering so many Greeks, Athena drops down to talk to Achilles, The river goddess appears beside Achilles, they’re so involved. From the way he writes them, Homer is kind of treating the gods like children playing with action figures, of course they don’t care about the tiny army men but they do directly affect the cool action figures, like Achilles. And as for 4… God I want the answer to be Achilles. I want him to be the best of the Greeks, but obviously it feels like the story is setting him up to be a very tragic hero, all the suffering he endures is a direct result of his own pride and fury, so it’s doubtful he’ll be our “best of the Greeks.” And I think the best of the Greeks would be the person with the most honor, which should be the greatest warrior, so Achilles, but it’s a lot more than that. It could be the person with the most status, so it could be our resident Cannibal King, which is what I’ll be calling him so I don’t have to spell his name, but is he well received? Is he known as honorable? Well, those are my scattered thoughts on book 1. These books are really short, I accidentally listened to like 20% of book 2 before realizing book 1 was over, so I look forward to catching up and following the book club!

I think the only thing I've read of yours was the BDSM one when I was like 13 lmao.

This is so much better when I remember some of your earlier works.

I've always had a similar sentiment. I used to read a ton as a kid, and I love it, but for me it sits in the middle ground of productive and fun. There are activities that in the moment are more fun then reading, but they aren't as fulfilling or good for me as reading is. But as far as activities that are rewarding and fulfilling, I label them productive activities, there're activities that are more productive than reading for me. In fact, writing is one of them, even though you need to read to improve at writing.

You know I've unronically done this... But it was shit food so point proven.