Budget Boom

This could be a really great story/game. Unfortunately, while it is far too short and many choices instantly lead to death or a win, without any forethought. I'd suggest using variables to keep track of income, etc. and allowing the user to reach more interesting places by their own decisions, as the story suggests. This is still worthy of some attention.

Not the worst story game I've ever read, but far from the best. I expected a fun game with some different paths and branches, but it was very linear, and it was simply; 'If you don't do this, game over.' I also found very it very weird how winning the lottery was super easy and it immediately won you the game, even though there is often a bunch more financial problems later on that could have made the game more interesting. I was also expecting to actually make some mathematical decisions, but I guess I shouldn't have expected so much. 3/8

You're telling me I spent all my money on gambling and didn't get the good ending?? Unacceptable!!

Such a nice stowy! :3

This certainly isn't great, but it shows some potential.

First, I'd like to point out that the writing itself is actually decent. Few grammar errors and the spelling is good. My only problem with the writing is that the author sometimes uses all caps with multiple exclamation marks. It makes you look much less mature and just generally isn't a good thing to do in a story.

Now for the content. The plot was somewhat there, but the story takes place over such a short amount of time that nothing can be developed. All characters only interact with the player through dry narration and nothing really changes. There's no real character to any of the people in the story. Another thing I have a problem with is that the story is set up to allow the player to control things and advertised saying that the player's actions will impact the future, but most choices just lead to a game-over or win screen. There's no real substance to this and it's frustrating. Also, some of the events are a little farfetched. *SPOILERS* Like why would the owner of the expensive apartment rig a lottery for you? WHy wouldn't he just do it for himself? It doesn't really make sense.

I'll offer some advice to close. Variables and scripting could make this story so much better. There could be a money variable and even random things that occur in the story to make it replayable. Of course, that would take longer, but that's exactly what this needs. It needs more effort and time from the author, then it could be actually pretty good.

Good,little unconferbale

good game

Good short game! :)

Whoa, that was severely lacking. It was set up really well and I thought it was going to take me through each day, choosing how to budget and so on...but no, one day and it's already over. Make this longer and it'll be really good.

Nice little time waster. Could have been a bit longer, but all in all, it was still pretty fun. I actually quite liked the humorous bits aswell. 4/8

The diamond necklace dissolved my money. );