Looped

I didn't read through this whole storygame, since I felt that the game would just keep repeating itself (ironic) ending wise.

The main issue here is that there isn't anything to be interested in. I don't know what kind of character I'm playing as, the town is dull and doesn't make me want to explore it more, other characters are mostly faceless aside from the man you can give coins to and there's never any explanation of what is causing the time loop or any set up towards a greater mystery.

What is this story meant to be, anyway? It feels like it's meant to be a horror/mystery story but you're never prompted to figure out what is causing the time loop. Neither is there anything you feel like you're meant to be scared by. The concept of a place being stuck in a time loop gives you so much creative freedom, you could've done a comedic story like in Groundhog Day, a horror story where a monster chases the protagonist through the town, and the objective is to survive until the day resets/build the story around the dread the MC feels about being stuck in one place forever, doing the same day over and over again. A mystery story where an ancient curse has been placed onto the town, and the protagonist has to figure out how to break it.

This concept could've been taken a lot further, and I'm disappointed this story only took it to this vague idea of what a horror story is meant to be.

Beyond that, it's got the usual first storygame SPAG errors and is far too short. 1/8.

This is marked as a class project, so I'll take this story with a grain of salt knowing it was probably some assignment.

My mind is still fresh on the time loop genre from Lasso of Time, which executes this concept really well. I'm not sure that this story hits the mark as well though.

The writing itself isn't bad - no consistent issues in spelling or grammar (a few spelling errors but nothing to suggest a pattern), and everything is coherent and concise. So yeah, the author is capable of writing a legible sentence. The main issues are that the writing is not descriptive, far too short, and doesn't make an effort to establish the world or anything within it at all.

Yeah, the story is just bland. There's nothing particularly interesting about it, and there's not much interest that can be developed anyway when each page is around three sentences long on average. Each ending consists of you either fixing the loop or restarting the loop, but when there's no characters to influence your decisions, a dull setting you don't feel like exploring, and just no motive whatsoever to get out of this situation, each ending feels equally as boring.

It's a class project so I wasn't expecting anything crazy anyway. I'll give this a 3/8 since it's at least *a* story with a concept.

Short but fun mystery

This is a very short but fun time loop mystery. I spent 10 minutes with it and found two ways to escape the loop (one mechanical, one digital). There was not much plot, but the elements that appeared in a lolrandom fashion were nice and creative. The writing was plain but decent and fit the mystery well.

So this one is certainly not an impressive masterpiece but it is worth checkeing out.

Not bad for a first story. I like the concept. Would have enjoyed it better if it was lengthened out more.

Oh, I just remembered that Ogre11 did something a bit similar but in a dystopian style in Dark Night (Noir). If you're interested in this genre you might want to check it out.

Ok, the old time loop thing. When this is done well it can be very good (Groundhog Day, Palm Springs) so let’s give this a whirl. Are you sure it’s a time loop and not just a typical town with everyone going through the same routines? Alright, this was a weird one. I wandered into a forest to look for animals, found one and broke the time loop (which is typically broken by assuming a genuinely altruistic lifestyle or mastering science). So, a bit random.

Well, there were no SPAG errors, the writing on the first page was promising and the paragraphs all made sense. I assume there was a bit of branching in this but a lot more can be done with this genre than a bunch of random choices, I particularly didn’t like the loop being broken for no apparent reason. This was an ok first story by a new member so I won’t review bomb it too harshly but you might want to explore this genre more and develop the story more. I’ll give it a 3/8 for now.