Manske's Island

This storygame was pretty interesting. I liked the premise of traveling to some alternate world on a mission, but some things are never really explained all that well. Like what kind of world is it exactly that the protagonist finds themselves in? Why were they chosen for this experiment?

These were questions that I couldn't help but ask myself as I played through the narrative, hoping they would be explained when this mission was completed, but sadly that wasn't the case for obvious reasons :l

This wasn't a bad story though, I found it to be pretty interesting.

This is a good idea, but it is very confusing. Why am I a soldier? What sort of universe did I just travel into? You need to create a backstory. I understand if you want to surprise me with the facts, so in that case tell me what happens at the end of the story.

Great story, pretty hooking with an original plot, although the start was completely random, the story unravels further down the line...

As I like to say, a good storygame is a penguin...
It has bones, the structure, the plot.
It has flesh, it has descriptions, it has details, and also emotions.
It has a sleek outer skin, good looking writing, grammar, punctuation and spelling, fancy or grabbing start.
It has a brain, variables, items(if applicable, not all penguins need to be smart!), link restrictions, and perhaps score.
It has a mouth and a**hole, the capability to be changed, removing crappy parts and digesting suggestions and improvements.

Keep up the good effort!

Crazy story, man. Have you ever tried DMT? It's entirely possible.

Why can’t I live?

yeah whatever this story is pretty gud!

I couldn't find any way to win at all.

Nah, it was alright but could be better.

This was a good idea, but I am wondering, how would I be punished if I was already dead.

Is there no good end?