The (Not So) Fantastic Vacation

Do not publish unfinished story-games or they will vanish like this one will :)

Why would you publish something that you know isn't finished?

So many errors and mistakes.

First of all, we have plenty of spelling errors, such as "he" instead of "hear"

It felt overall, lazy. For example, this chunk:

You walk into the theater...
He a few voices then a shout...
And never walk out...

Like seriously, what even is that? It gives no detail at all. I walk into a theater, hear a shout, and never come out... not descriptive. Did I get murdered? Did I get kidnapped? Please.

Another reason it felt lazy was the use of things like JK. You're writing a story. Not texting.

The length would be fine I guess, but there was half a paragraph per page. Please spend more time on your stories.

The description alone made me embarrased for you. You asked for no negative comments, and I hate to say it, but if you publish what's pretty much a DEMO, then you're gonna get some nasty comments.

Don't publish this. You literally say in the description there's no detail. It doesn't matter if this is just a rough draft. If it is, you don't publish it. If you want feedback for a rough draft make a forum post.

Unfinished storygames get cast into hell.

Sorry, but I give this a 1/8.

I really need help. I spent hours trying to figure out an interesting plot. HELP ME!