The Devil of the World's Fair
A
historical
storygame by
roselila43
Player Rating
?/8
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
Based on 9 ratings so far
Story Difficulty
5/8
"Run through the jungle"
Play Length
2/8
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
Maturity Level
5/8
"Aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
Tags
Historical
Horror
Thriller
The Murder Castle, also known as the World's Fair Hotel, was home to the most prolific serial killer in America. H.H. Holmes designed his home as a maze that would trap its visitors into horrific scenarios where they would soon take their last breath. Holmes's real name was Herman Webster Mudgett, this alias was created with the intent of buying the hotel and creating his dream murder chamber. While he claimed to have killed more than 27 people in his castle, the conviction that led to his death was only one count of murder along with 50 other lawsuits in Chicago alone. Holmes was a con artist who manipulated his victims into lawsuits and used corpses as his way to get to the money. Holmes was executed by hanging in the Moyamensing Prison on May 7th, 1896. His final words were, "I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than a poet can help the inspiration to sing". In this story, you will play Parker Jones, a businessperson traveling to the World's Fair in 1893. You stumble upon a hotel with a perfect view of the Fair. After one night of staying in The World's Hotel, you realize you're stuck and must find a way to escape. The hotel has four floors in which you must escape with winding halls, false doors, and shutes that lead to the basement.
Player Comments
The concept is nice but the story really falls short.
This story is very short, less than 1800 words, and really never develops past checking into the hotel. It seems all of the choices only result in just a sentence or two before becoming "Link-less", which is annoying in itself (and stupid). If the choice ends in death, just end the game, don't call it "Link-Less" especially since that is actually a link.
Bad link choices aside, the story was lacking - and by that I mean lacking actual story narrative. I was intrigued by the description and set up to see what experiences I could have while trying to escape. But no joy. Once I check into the room there is no more narrative to read other than a sentence or two on each page before a quick end.
This story has potential to be really good. The concept is good, and lends itself well to a CYA style. The first page checking in was decently written. But it needs more. More work, more words, and more story.
Overall: Good concept but needs more work.
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—
DBNB
on 5/9/2023 11:57:22 AM with a score of 0
It's the best! Definitely going to play again.
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— Ashley Ward on 5/9/2023 10:13:40 AM with a score of 0
Paragraphs breaks are sorely needed
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—
Darius_Conwright
on 5/8/2023 7:33:47 PM with a score of 0
Congratulations on publishing your first story!
Dead-end pages (pages with no links) are extremely frowned upon on this site. I would suggest you edit End Game links onto the linkless pages, or there's about a 100% chance this gets taken down for low ratings.
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—
Sherbet
on 5/8/2023 7:02:23 PM with a score of 0
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