Player Comments on WarGames
It's slightly disappointing to see the areas that lack heavily in this story, although I do see that there is room for growth and additional editing. Therefore, a lot of the potential in this was wasted.
Concept: The game is obviously set on an island that goes by the name 'Desert Peak', where you fight an unknown enemy for an unknown reason at an unknown time, etc. So either you just did not want to describe it or the character is not meant to know what is happening during the war. You do not at all give the reader an idea of the protagonist's emotions or feelings, neither do you give a backstory that the reader can use as a way to distinguish the characters personalities. Another thing you should definitely give reference to is the landscape of the area. At the start, you only mention the protagonist on a ship taking part in an amphibious assault to attack an island, the average soldier should actually know who and why they are invading.
Plot: There wasn't really much development or backstory or over-arching story in this game. It was virtually just a call to arms where the character has to fight for survival. It's also very hard to root your emotions into the protagonist as he doesn't express any description of the feeling. Plot-wise, I don['t think that there is enough description here to make for a good, storytelling game.
Characters: As is with many of the other stories in this site, your protagonist(s) have no real personality or emotion as I have said before. Usually, second person stories like this one have characters that start off blank, without emotion or personality. This is because the story is supposed to shape the reader's mind into imagining it. But this can't really be done without the support of the story itself, but clearly, the stories plot is too inferior to successfully intervene with the characters and the reader's interpretation of them.
Themes: As I said before, this story does not really have a plot or theme to go with it, apart from a fight for survival and a gauntlet style war game genre. Most stories like that work okay without too much of a theme, but this story barely has a theme thus making it harder to relate to the concept of the characters and the setting.
Structure: One thing that is good about the structure of this story is that it is not very linear, the story basically tries to get you moving on one path and if you slip into different directions - death is the result. But, the deaths are also all the same and there is no difference in the deaths to make it intriguing or mysterious in any way.
Grammar/Spelling: I really don't pay much attention to this kind of stuff and I am just going to say you did a pretty good job in that area.
Overall rating: 2/8
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Rattler
on 9/15/2018 9:57:29 PM with a score of 0
Ugh. Poor grammar. Pages are, in my honest, humble opinion, too short. The story was confusing and the good ending was...well, I can't really complain about the ending. There are several good games on this site where the good ending involves you dying (Death song, for example), but this is not one of them. 2/8.
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jamescoker1226
on 6/15/2014 11:13:52 PM with a score of 0
N way to win, and it just asks if u have a SuperDragon. I didn’t. I don’t even know if getting that’s an option. Whatever. 1/8
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writeyourstory
on 10/8/2020 1:09:08 PM with a score of 0
I didn't understanding the story at all!
2/8...
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— Gilad on 11/10/2017 3:37:53 PM with a score of 0
That was...fun. Needs more story though.
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corgi213
on 8/20/2015 6:40:11 PM with a score of 0
Amusing to read and a good length. I did find it annoying however that I had to confirm what gun I had in my possession.
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Madbrad200
on 6/15/2014 11:12:26 PM with a score of 0
Couldn't find a way to win the game.
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— walker on 9/3/2013 7:41:48 PM with a score of 0
Lack of both logical story progression and caring about what it is you're doing plague this tale.
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MythicBowman
on 8/19/2013 2:34:37 AM with a score of 0
Not me cup of salt =-O
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Revenant
on 4/14/2013 10:18:00 PM with a score of 0
I don't get this story.
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Xt1000305
on 5/30/2012 12:16:18 PM with a score of 0
was there a winning ending for that?
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CovElite
on 5/29/2012 11:03:06 AM with a score of 0
stupid
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betaband
on 4/8/2012 7:09:28 PM with a score of 0
3/8
Bo disapproves
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ThisisBo
on 6/19/2011 12:20:20 AM with a score of 0
4/8. It wasn't terrible but it also wasn't that good. Keep trying!
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snyper1107
on 3/28/2011 3:26:54 PM with a score of 0
aaaaaaa, okay i guess. Keep trying though man!
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th*mage*of*kings
on 7/24/2008 6:52:55 PM with a score of 0
What just Happened?
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banjoman92
on 5/24/2008 11:25:04 PM with a score of 0
4/8. It was okay.
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Expander
on 12/8/2007 8:47:50 AM with a score of 0
Didn't like it.
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weedy
on 10/14/2007 10:49:36 PM with a score of 0
Linear, and too many death pages.
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Anubis
on 3/29/2007 8:43:36 PM with a score of 0
Is it me, or do you seem to die no matter what you do?
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Havacoman
on 1/22/2007 9:06:24 PM with a score of 0
Not bad. I'm still puzzling over the title, though.
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Sir_Lancegalawain
on 12/29/2006 5:41:39 PM with a score of 0
I died, but I liked what I saw.
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tsmpaul
on 12/26/2006 11:12:23 PM with a score of 0
nice story. it was very linear and it was pretty short but overall I liked it. good job.
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firestorm78
on 12/25/2006 12:03:26 AM with a score of 0
Basic Editor right? If so pretty good.
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PrinceOProvidence
on 12/24/2006 3:33:51 PM with a score of 0
Short, not much story, very linear. The abruptness of the ending is slightly interesting.
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madglee
on 12/24/2006 1:03:46 PM with a score of 0
Very linear, I must say, but it is hard to get the good ending, so that must be the reason why you rated the difficulty a six.. Pretty good game, though I must say the storyline is a bit..small.
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GodsSlayer
on 12/20/2006 9:29:19 PM with a score of 0
Nice writing, and this time there was a storyline to it. I don't think it was linear, although it may have just been me picking the right choices. Great grammar too. Accidentally rated it a four. My mistake, should have been a five.
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October
on 12/20/2006 2:48:24 AM with a score of 0
Items just don't work in a classic editor, too linear, and you die anyway. But otherwise, nice work.
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— primates on 12/19/2006 5:15:47 PM with a score of 0
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