Player Comments on Cannibals Roam

Got the BEST ENDING and this got some laughs out of me. You didn't need the disclaimer in the description, it didn't matter that it was your first story, though I enjoyed it and hope it won't really be the only one you write.

I like that we got all the usual action/zombie cliches out of the way right away (well most of them...you forgot to make her a MMA expert with a katana in addition to being a hot 22 yr old scientist...) and it was all just good silly fun even if it was pretty short.
-- mizal on 3/10/2016 9:53:13 AM with a score of 0
It's certainly wacky, and with some self-referential humor that lampoons the zombie genre. I enjoyed playing through it, and even if there wasn't much suspense because the consequences of every choice were essentially laid out, I didn't mind it because your quirky writing style was more interesting, personally, than a zombie story where I already (roughly) knew what to expect.

My only advice would be 'show not tell', since there are a lot of ways to build up your character as a young, intelligent badass without info-dumping everything right at the start.

Other than that, for a first game, it was a good start, and I hope this isn't your only game because I'd enjoy seeing more games in this wacky style of yours. If this is what you could throw together in a day, then I'm sure you could put together something really worthwhile if you gave yourself more time.
-- the_quiller on 3/10/2016 6:36:39 AM with a score of 0
Er... ok. You need to have a lot of confidence in your story if you are presenting it to the reader and your writing style is a bit... different. The fact the character is 22 and a virgin is a bit irrelevent: the story sounds a bit like someone describing a role play than an actual story which should be in the third person. You have told the story more than written it which is ok if it's clearly meant to be anecdotal or a diary entry or something similiar but this is a bit... gossipy :)
Your writing style is actually better than you seem to think and very accessible for teen readers but if you tell the reader exactly what's going to happen when they pick a certain choice it takes all the surprise and challenge out of multiple choice options, the story gets better as you go further into it and there's a feel you really get into the flow of writing.
I quite enjoyed this because it was different but it might benefit from being less informal, I guess your a teen writer so you know exactly how to write for teen readers :) I hope this isn't your only story: it was pretty entertaining and like anything else the more you write the better you'll get at writing :D
-- Will11 on 3/10/2016 4:48:44 AM with a score of 0
this game sucks. I hate it
-- globby on 10/25/2019 4:58:06 PM with a score of 0
its a very nice story
-- izzy on 2/7/2019 12:50:04 PM with a score of 0
Nice! Achieved best ending...like always!
Nice story though.
-- Sick tricks! on 12/16/2018 10:53:59 PM with a score of 0
thanks for the book]
-- jye tyler on 10/28/2018 9:18:35 PM with a score of 0
Jeezus! The swearing is correctly used here!
-- WritingStories on 10/20/2018 9:40:32 AM with a score of 0
Great story even though it was pretty short.
-- Dr.Green on 10/16/2018 5:07:00 PM with a score of 0
Fun.
-- Quorrah on 9/17/2018 7:18:33 PM with a score of 0
Yay! I got the Peaceful-Bad Ass ending! I'm totally gonna play this again!
-- ILLUMINATI on 6/13/2018 9:15:44 AM with a score of 0
I think this is supposed to be satirical, and I really liked the first page especially.
Grocery stores- why grocery stores???
So 6/8. Really good!
-- katgirl22 on 4/30/2018 3:41:48 AM with a score of 0
I got peaceful bad-ass... was hoping to shrek some noobs lol
-- corgi213 on 8/13/2017 12:31:50 AM with a score of 0
It was amusing.
-- crazygurl on 6/17/2017 5:19:29 PM with a score of 0
Well, the lack of emotion in your character I didn't appreciate, though I loved the sarchastic narator
-- Chickdove on 5/14/2017 10:18:48 PM with a score of 0
This was really funny and I got the best ending. This was very funny and I think anyone would like it so if you have a good sense of humor then you should definitely try this. It's also full of twists and I enjoyed them.
-- hblovecraft on 1/7/2017 2:49:27 PM with a score of 0
Awesome
-- Pugtaco on 9/19/2016 11:27:23 AM with a score of 0
this was fun and i saved the world!! :D
LOVED IT GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3
-- SilverPaw on 8/26/2016 8:20:49 PM with a score of 0
Reminds me of a nightmare.
-- crusader on 7/3/2016 2:50:39 PM with a score of 0
Pretty damn good game! And I got the best ending
-- Bailey.schultz1 on 6/18/2016 2:28:30 AM with a score of 0
Eaten by cannibals!
-- Tanya on 6/3/2016 7:06:49 PM with a score of 0
I found this quite fun to read. It left me smiling with the jokes. All in all, it was short and sweet.
-- ScarlettWolf on 6/2/2016 3:17:42 PM with a score of 0
God, This game sucks so much. The story-line is stupid. Your an awful writer.
-- THEOWNINGA on 3/31/2016 10:19:25 PM with a score of 0
Congrats on your first game. This is better written than many first attempts. I like your writing style, and I can't wait to read your next story. Perhaps you can even add to this one and make it longer and better one day. Good luck!

P.S. I got the best ending! Yay! :)
-- breezy134 on 3/30/2016 9:20:15 AM with a score of 0
this book was way way to short and wasn't good at all.
-- unkown on 3/19/2016 5:58:27 PM with a score of 0
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