choices of death

This was a terrible story. No description, short and it usually ends in you death. I don't recommend this to anyone.

Needs more story

Haha... Fuck you... Haha... Bitch

For a game called "Choices of Death" you sure drag out the damn process. Why don't you put a death link on the first page and get it over with so I don't have to put up with your terrible, incoherent story?

8/8 m8

Rubbish. No background info is given and no scenes are described. Making a choice is nothing more than guess work. No fun to read as no effort has been made.

This hurt my eyes. Perhaps "Ocular Rape" would be a better name for it.

If you are writing this for your own enjoyment, then fine. But if this is meant to be read and appreciated by others, I don't know what you were thinking.

It's way too short to be enjoyable. You don't get time to learn anything meaningful about the characters, world or plot of this story. You really need to write pages that are more than a couple of lines, or the reader feels nothing. This comment that I'm writing has more writing than your game.

And why does such a short game need a sequel? Usually, even when storygames are long, it often makes more sense to put them together into a bigger storygame. With the minuscule length of this one, you have no excuse.

With so few words written, I don't know how you managed to have spelling/punctuation errors and incoherent writing. It shouldn't take more than three minutes to check. Or just get somebody else to take a look for you.

On top of all that there is no plot. So little happens that you can barely call this a story, and the end is hardly a cliffhanger when you don't let the player get attached to anything because you've written barely ten lines.

I'm going to go look at your sequel now and hope it's better than this. All it takes to make a decent storygame is some effort and time.

... Well I've learnt a valuable lesson. I shall never open my door again. ^_^

This isn't even a story game. Grammar and punctuation was terrible, and the story had no plot, no information, no nothing! This was short, hardly described and completely random. None of the events matched each other.

Firstly grammar and punctuation. You had no punctuation or grammar throughout and absolutely nothing that established each sentence. I was basically words strived together and left like that.

Secondly, you only had one poorly written sentence per page that didn't explain anything. Where was the information? The background story? Why is this shadowy figure trying to kill you? There was nothing to tell me what was going on.

Your story was very short. It took me literally 5 seconds to play, and I was only able to choose two or three choices before it ended. Most of your links led to complete dead ends. My phone died, so what? Why did the game have to end? The game was completely linear with only one way to get through the whole 'story', if that's what you would call this.

I really don't think you should make a second story of this. If it is anything like this one, you will just be adding another terrible story to this website. If you really want to make a story game, put some actual effort in it. This had absolutely no effort and I could have made this in 5 minutes. Seriously. 1/8.