Player Comments on Just a Regular Improv Class

Disclaimer: to the author, take everything in this review with a grain of salt. I’m not a professional writer and only somewhat of a seasoned reviewer. To the readers, this review will contain lots of spoilers, so I suggest you read the storygame first.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

There’s a well-known piece of advice about writing what you know. This story is based on the author’s Improv classes, so there would be familiarity with the subject, and I’m interested to see how real life events are adapted into a fictional story. The author claims it would be enjoyable. Let’s see if this holds true.

The story opens with some description of the setting. I like how it begins with the location—a well-lit room—before focusing on the characters and conveying the general mood. Soon, it’s revealed that the protagonist is taking in the scene, observing everyone and everything, as he is hesitant to approach the groups gathered around. This links characterization to the description. Then, all of the resulting choices are realistic given what is shown of the protagonist’s character.

WRITING STYLE

I enjoyed the use of active verbs, like how the “hum of conversation fills the air” and people are “scattered loosely around the room”. This makes the prose feel more dynamic. When paired with sensory details like sight and sound, it helps immerse the reader more.

Yet, I noticed an over-reliance on adjectives. For instance, this sentence has an adjective tied to every noun: “The space is well-lit, with the afternoon sun filtering through the large windows, casting long shadows on the scuffed wooden floors”. This weakens the writing, as it is a form of ‘telling’ rather than ‘showing’. Instead, you may consider using more specific nouns or literary devices such as extended metaphors. Also think about which adjectives are the most important when painting a picture of the scene. Remember, the more adjectives you have, the less impactful each one becomes. Note: this applies to adverbs too.

CHARACTERS & PLOT

Because I’m an introvert and conversing with people is draining, I first chose the ‘go to the toilet’ option. I enjoyed how the protagonist uses this time to ground himself and mentally prepare for socializing with his classmates. However, this option proves to be unwise, as he returns to find the class has started and has to endure the embarrassment of being late. Unfortunately, this page seems to be missing links to proceed.

The first two choices appear to be the same content-wise, with slight variations in wording. When meeting the other characters, all of them have distinct and realistic personalities, and none of them are archetypal. But I noticed a few continuity errors. First, when talking to Mei, the protagonist introduces himself, followed by Mei’s introduction, then he proceeds to introduce himself once again. Unless he has some sort of short-term memory loss, that should be edited. On the page to speak with James, it starts with “After chatting with the blonde girl”. Despite this, the protagonist hasn’t spoken to anyone on the previous page and even if he speaks to Lily, there’s no choice to speak to James after. Or maybe he’s just secretly a time traveler. Then in the improv game, the names of each character is used. But the protagonist (and reader) would have only met one of them, not all three, so he’s likely to still think of them by their descriptors as opposed to their names.

The games like Sound Ball and Two Strangers on a Park Bench are interesting, and they teach unique lessons about Improv too. These kind of remind me of the games I played in Drama class back in middle school. In the second game, I enjoyed how realistically the improvising went—it sounded exactly how one would imagine students acting a role would be. It was slightly dramatized, stereotypical versions of each role, yet not completely unrealistic. And the alphabet game is something I’ve played before, except with numbers; the goal is to try to get the highest possible number.

I loved how the item was used at the end! I believed there was a bug in the storygame, until I saw the item’s description: “To communicate better with your fellow improviser! Use when needed.” That was quite clever.

Overall, while it could benefit from proofreading and playtesting, it’s a short and sweet storygame about Improv class. It’s what you would expect from the title and description.

This is a fascinating story, I like the unique writing style. Some of the points don't exactly make a ton of sense. like how would someone like 8 years old create a hit videogame. Maybe im missing something

You really need to fix that link on "go to the toilet", the writing isn't bad at all but games with dead pages are usually taken down.

Several options assume you have already selected other options and I got stuck in a loop during the alphabet game.

i went to the toilet and there were no more choices so i dont know that to do now

There's a dead link on the first page.

A very accurate title. I didn't really spot any spelling or grammatical mistakes which is always a plus.

Rather than embellishing any details, this story just seems to focus on providing a realistic experience on what it's like to attend an improv class. In a sense, this feels like an edutainment game.

In conclusion, I'd say it's worth a read if you are curious about what goes on in an improv class