Player Comments on Not so Quiet on the Western Front

This is an alright attempt, but in all honestly, it was quite unsatisfying throughout. The premise of the story is promising but isn't fulfilled due to the incredibly short length and its abrupt ending.

Not to mention, the pictures are all broken, which greatly takes away from what would be a (somewhat) more immersive experience. Maybe it's just a personal preference of mine, but I'm not a huge fan of pictures in stories telling the setting and not the author. I would've much rather preferred that the setting and details of each location be described. It's one thing for the reader to look at a photograph taken at a WWI battle, and it's another to write about what that photograph is depicting - the violence, the bloodshed, the sounds and horrors of warfare. It's a storygame, not a picture book. As I've mentioned earlier, it doesn't help that the pictures don't even show up (another great reason to not rely on images for setting).

The writing is coherent but very bare bones. Due to the lack of functioning pictures, you're left with practically zero description and no idea on what your surroundings look like. Reading this story was more like reading a bunch of chronological bullet points (You did this. Then you did that. Then you went there. [...] You held your position. You won!). I wish that I knew more about my character and my purpose on the Western Front. The other characters were just as lifeless - they only served to react and respond to my character, nothing more.

Overall it's an okay effort at a storygame. I'm sure the pictures would've contributed some amount to the setting, but broken images are the least disenchanting parts of this story in my opinion. I'll give this a 3/8.

Wow. What a dissapointment.

The ending was not justifiable at all. It was way to quick, and way too rushed.

Like I said on a different storygame, it is never okay if someone is able to write out your entire plot in points.

-Pick England or Germany/Prussia (I picked England although I doubt it really matters)
-Go to the church
-Go to the bar
-Go on the front lines
-Advance
-Hold your position, The End

The initial idea of this story is great. You play as a boy who wants to fight in World War I. It sounded fun. However, it was way too short, and like Madbrad2000 said below me, it actually did leave you staring at your screen. I was so surprised at how quick it was.

The writing was also another thing that ruined it. The writing had a lot of punctuational errors, like, for example, forgetting to put the quotation mark in the right place. Also, the detail was not here. It needed to be detailed so as to leave an image in the reader's head. But instead it is pretty blunt and badly written, using no adjectives or anything really to describe a specific scene. To me, it seems like the author wrote the story, and without proofreading it or even bothering to re-read it, uploaded it. There were many more ways to improve this work.

I personally think this should be taken off, 2/8.

P.S. The images don't work.

I didn't really see the point of it. I just went to war, waited, then won? Really too simple if you ask me

I mean cmon man, i want to expirence war not death

This was pretty bad. The images don’t even work nowadays.

Pretty good

Good story a bit short rushed ending if it was a bit longer and ending wasn’t so rushed it would be a good story.

I guess it was ok. I couldn't see any of the pictures, though that may be my computer. I feel like this should have been expanded on and worked on more than it was.

5/10

I died really quick, but it was well written and well paced. The pictures don't show up on my phone, though.

The whole game didn't even take 1 minute. Seriously it's smaller then 10th part of a demo

I like it. WWI is my one of my favorite things to learn about at this definitely did it justice.

Images are broken so probably detracts a lot from what it once was, but even still the writing should be what carries the story.

Was a very short story so not a lot to go for it, the setting is something that I like and who doesn't love reading about archduke Ferdinand the G.O.A.T, getting assasinated again RIP.

Not a lot of description which I felt could have been a lot more added for what could have been at least one point higher in ratings but oh well.

Cant say much else for the story other than that, other than that there were some spelling errors every now and then that didn't detract to much.

good

You held your position at the end, and that's it. Seriously, I would've liked a counteroffensive to end it off with, but that was not in the package. None the less, it was good overall, the writing was a good 6. I'd give this game a 5, it's not bad, but not's great either.

This was pretty dull. You are presented with no real choices that make a difference. The story is too short to have anything of substance, needs more length, more characters, some semblance of emotion/depth, give me a reason to actually be fighting so I feel like we are working towards something good! more description please

It was a very good story i would recomend it

This was too short

too short without much of a plot nor a good ending... well it's too short to develop any sort of plot I guess.

Too short

It was a bit short but overall it was pretty good.

Endings really abrupt.

What kind of ending is that?

Cool story, you should make it longer

Not bad.

Perhaps it was just me but appeared every choice ends the game in under 2 minutes very disappointing shame I was expecting so much more

You know there is a problem when you can whip through every ending in less than five minutes without skipping a word...and that's what just happened to me.

Really good, just wish it was longer and I did not like the part about wasting the month's pay because it has absolutely nothing to do with the story and makes you sound like a bad guy when you are British

So short

Well, there were a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, and the creator certainly could have done a better job on this.

It's ok, it needs to be longer and the descriptions and grammar need improving. The story's premise is good though but many of the picture links don't work. I enjoyed the opening parts more than the endings.

A bit short and in the pub why can't you have the character talking to some of his army buddies?

I thought this was going to be an enjoyable story, instead it ended abruptly and left me staring blankly at my screen.
It has a good premise but it is simply too short and undescriptive, also the pictures do not work.

great game. it would have been even better if it was longer. its so short! the game is amazing though.

Hmmm...Interesting. I rather not comment to deeply because Historical fiction isn't my type. I'm not a big fan of war either xD But there were choices and a wonderful ending!

short but good

too short

I thought it was a bit odd, this was not what I had expected. There could have been more to explain behind the book on how war is terrible and that WWI ended up in millions of unneeded death, and more advancement and military technology. But the book, well, it was more thought provoking than I could've might explained.

This has the potential to be a really great story. You need to add more detail to make the reader part of the story. And some of your endings are rather abrupt. It is a really good story; it just needs a little bit more work to be great.

awesome

Pretty cool. Great potential but needs more work. I don't like saying 'needs to be longer' but this just seems abrupt. Length isn't too important as long as the ending is fluid and satisfying. Here it feels like you just gave up and submitted midway through.

I think you have an excellent lay out for what could be an excellent story, but this needs a lot of work. One thing you need to do is proofread the story, it was littered with spelling errors that a spell check won't pick up. ("Ambulances and driving to and fro moving the injured to waiting transports." is one, should be ambulance ARE driving). The ending was abrupt, I took the England homeland path, I was happy I took the trench over but that was the end??? The story shouldn't have ended unless the main character dies, is captured, is seriously injured, or the war is won.

I think I rated you a four. There was just so much opportunity for you to properly describe the details of the scenes, on both a physical and emotional level, that I was disappointed in what I read. Please work on this, edit in some details and extend some of the storylines. You have laid out the groundwork for wha

This is another game that I like even better upon repeated play.
In response to the criticism "no tactics" I would say:
This is a game about one individual's experience in war. It's not meant to be a grand strategy game- and it does a good job of immersing the player in the here-and-now of the character.

Linear, and some situations don't let you continue, but still an amazing game!

Faaaar too short, linear, and unimaginative. no tactics or ANYTHING!

Good Game

I guess I won? I was going to give it a 6, but lowered the rating to a 5 because I found an abrupt ending link (as the england) which I thought was weird. It's a nice game though, and deserves it's place as being featured. I love war related CYOAs.

Extremely good writing- great job developing the hero character, it makes the death scenes much more affecting.

I really like this game, I wish it was longer and had more of a strategy. The pictures and eveything were awesome. Please make this game longer.

Pretty interesting. I only played one path but if the other one is as long, this is a nice story. A few typos and spelling errors. Also, too short. A fine effort, though.

It needs to be longer. War isn't my kind of style, but I won't hold that against you. Well done.

it's quite fun but this needs to be longer.

it was ok.

Very nice game! I'm a little surprised it ends so soon, though. But as to quality, it's excellent!

Good game. Maybe the pics are too much though. How do you thnk a war veteran would feel if he played this game? Oh yeah, make it longer too.

terrible... (game that is!)

You need to expand this game to make it work!

Good concept, bet i think you need to make it longer.

i guess i won.... i didnt die :P

It's a nice game. Definitly has replay value. You could expand more on this if you want. Make it a better game by doing so.

this is a great concept and definately in a class of its own. however, poor grammar and not being an advanced game really take away from it.

Short.
You have a empty link. Please fix. When you have 8 shots and it's time for departure. Please fix.