Player Comments on Save Your Dragon

Amazing, this was quite an adventure! I really found the bond between Redscale and the protagonist to be one of the major highlights to this story, not that there weren't many highlights that I enjoyed. It's just that their bond was written well and in a very endearing way.

The combat in this game was pretty good as well, and the game felt long, but it never did feel like it was dragging on to it's destination.

There were some issues with the grammar, and some dialogue choices were rather oddly placed. It wasn't too bad that it curbed my enjoyment of this by much :)

All in all, this was very engaging.

Bad:
1)Linearity-wish I could choose more options
2)Spelling- at times it was off
3)dialogue- it was a little wierd sometimes
4)A little to fast paced- things could have been developed better.

Good:
1)Long- this was the perfect amount of length. Not to long or to short.
2)Battles- I really felt like I was the character in the fights which made them extremely enjoyable.
3)Characters- I found myself actually rooting for them and that I wanted to see more of them.
4) Inspiration- This was a very original game which I liked. Nice world you created.

Verdict:
A nice game overall. Though there were some flaws you more than made up for them. You had a great story and I loved the way it turned out. I sincerely hope that you make more.

Favorite parts: The battle against Quon

Nice job Killer.

6/8

yes

A quite boring game with no sense of choice.

kinda bored but still fun

One of the better dragon stories in the site. It might need some proofreading, but the story overall is nice. The combat system is fun.

The idea is really interesting, but jerky in its progression (too many 1-click pages). Desperately desperately needs a proofreader, there are so many grammatical and spelling issues here, the English expression is very poor.

Spell check.

There were some things a little off with this in my opinion.
As usual there are some spoilers in this so don't read this before you play.

First of all the grammar wasn't exactly the best. You had a few misspelled words in there and most sentences were very short and simple structured. Also the lenght of the pages varied quite a lot. Some were just about three or four sentences.

The detail was lacking in some descriptions. I did never really feel immersed in the story except maybe the fight scenes.

The story did (as far as I could find) only have one ending which is not ideal for a CYOA type of story. The paths also seemed to all lead to the same points in the storygame. It would have been a nice change up if there was an alternative where you could join Quon or maybe loose the battle. But I guess you mainly wanted to show your ideal story. Especially the first decisions seemed to be of the "Do what I want or die" kind.

Now I did like the overall plot of the story. It felt like you let the "Eragon" books inspire you while writing this. The characters were maybe a little to simple but they all had different personalities that made them unique.

The fighting scenes were in my opinion pretty well done. It was just a little to obvious that they ultimately lead to the same outcome. Maybe fleshing them out a bit more would have helped the story.

The bond between the protagonist and redscales was very well written and made me want to read the whole story more and more.

I also liked your decision of giving different colors to the dialogue in their mind so the reader was able to immediately understand if its a thought dialogue or a spoken one. It wade reading through the story more easy to follow.

All in all a quite good adventure story with a unique plot and some unexpected twists. 5/8 from me.

Good:
Nice plot, the whole story fits together
Plenty of options and multiple endings (and ways to die!!)

Bad:
COMMAS. Sentences like this: "Then I Warren accept your challenge...” could be easily avoided. Fix this one thing and you’ll be golden.
7/8

Pretty good.

the colours were kinda weird

I love dragons and this was fun so please make another game like this or a sequel.

SO ROMANTIC

this is the best thing i have ever played

It was an amazing story. The storyline made it as if I was actually part of the story, and the connections between the characters felt real. The only bad thing about this story is that, well, it wasn't supposed to really be that. After the very beginning, I felt that I was just reading a book, a very good one, but I meant to play a game.

I could see all the hard work that went into this masterpiece. Nice job.

Amazing! I love it!

Cool story. A bit like Eragon.

There was enthusiasm and interest in creating this. I applaud the author for having that joy and desire to create come through in the writing. Unfortunately I cannot rate this highly nor recommend it even if it has a good core. I usually do not let spelling or composition influence my ratings (or weight then heavily if I do,) but this honestly NEEDS a proof read. Some things could be caught by running through spell check, but most are composition problems. There are constant tense changes even within the same paragraph or sentence from past, to present and back being most common. There are contradictions and logic holes (such as part where a butcher greets you, then says nothing during your transaction, you pay and leave. How were you able to select the cuts you wanted or get a total price from him? It may seem not picky, and I don't say it to be cruel, but this story is full of such issues as well as dialog which only serves to forward the plot and is not organic or natural at all. Right at the beginning of the story the protagonist muses to themselves about the plot holes and convenient logic of the situation as though by having them point it out the reader no longer needs to ask the same questions. I have this game a reasonably high score given that it is the first word game on this site that I almost could not bring myself to finish. I wrote this review not to pick apart or mock someone's labor, but because obviously the author is a creative and imaginative person with good ideas trying to bring joy to others. I respect them for that and would like to see them create to the potential hinted at in this story. I feel like an editor, co writer, or proof reader with experience and skill could really benefit this story and the writer. I do not recommend this game unless you do not care about immersion or consistency, but I look forward to playing other games from this author as they clearly have a passion to create and entertain. There's a lot of criticism in this review and I hope not to come off too harsh. I don't know the authors background or how far they have grown their skills since this was written. I could not enjoy this story due to the technical failings but am not insulting their vision or craft, and this is just my opinion. What do I know? I'm not on the newtork times beast seller list and have yet to publish any stories on this site. Take it with a grain of salt, imho- skip this one as it stands, but don't write this author off.

Extremely linear... also if you just click the first option on the page you always win.

More a story than a game. Quite an enjoyable story line but very few decisions to make.

Really good plot in general. If you pick right when there are options choices at the start have a very big impact on the story some spelling, grammar, etc. errors but overall not bad; however I would like more choices!

Loved it!

THIS. WAS. EPIC!!!

I want to congrajulate the author of this. It must've taken a lot of effort, thought and not to mention writing! It reminded me of the Inheritance Cycle-- a.k.a. the Eragon books, by Christopher Paolini and you've GOT to read them if you enjoy this!

It was enjoyable and pleasant ^.^

best story i have read in a very long time,it was made amazingly,thank you(author)for making it.

Amazing AND super fun but it took me about 5 days to finish it

Always pick first option and always win, need to switch it up.

Yay, I became a dragon king. :D
It was a nice story

Good, but it was kinda long.

Despite its numerous grammatical errors throughout the story, I did enjoy myself. There wasn't many original ideas, but it gave off the old feeling of a classical fantasy adventure. The story was long enough to where it didn't just die off into a rushed conclusion, and it felt like an actual story adventure despite its distracting errors. 6/8 Was enjoyable.

Some of the awkward situations due to unclear grammar and those times when readers are not sure who is talking instead of who, were easily forgotten thanks to the awesome moments brought by imaginations around dragons and twists. I'm glad I read this.

Very boring

It was so boring. It went on and on and on and on without a choice in sight. The linearity absolutely killed what could of been a good story. The grammar was very simple with mistakes rampant. The Endgames were very lazy.

Also, why did the blacksmith give me free shit the second time I saw him.....Why didn't he do that in the first place.

It was amazing, I really liked it.

Wtf

It was a long story, but that made it better. I especially liked the dragon part. Did you get this from The Inheritance Cycle? (Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Inheritance)

Super awesome! Great plot and long story. I like the depth to the characters. The only thing I would suggest to do different is to maybe have a few more choices.

I enjoyed the story very much. It was less of an interactive experience and more of a story however. The author could also use some editing help as the verb tenses (past, present, future) are often not in agreement, even within a sentence. Grammar issues are also a little distracting. Despite those minor things, the story is wonderfully charming and entertaining.

Good one you two!

Very good- I love any stories when dragons are the goodies! It was too much story and not enough game, though- and the grammer was horrific! But all in all I enjoyed it.

Does Redscale really have to die? D:

Wow! That's really all I can say about this one. While there were some grammatical errors, they weren't such that it was impossible to read the story. Kai falls in love with Zaron? I never saw that one coming! Haru betrays the dragons and joins Quom? no big surprise there; she struck me as a bit of a bitter old lady from the very beginning. You know, in a way, it kind of reminds me of the Inheritance Cycle Books by Christopher Paolini. Thanks for an enjoyable read, and an even more enjoable gaming experience!

great game

There so should be another one involving the silver egg and Zaron's child it would be awesome.

This was awesome! I hope you take advantage of the opportunity you gave yourself to have another one revolve around the silver egg and Zaron's inevitable child. This is certainly the best on I've ever played.

Good story, a well thought out plot, but two problems:
first, the choices that are available are all either death or "the right choice" none of the choices are flavor or customizable things, which add a sense of "you" to the story.
Secondly, the grammar/spelling is good, but not great. There are several places where the phrasing is awkward or there's a small typo. clean this up a bit and add a few more "flavor" options, and this will go from being "good" to being great :D

Seth says MEH! I didn't feel like reading everything so i just skipped to the bottom and read the last sentence then picked a link :3

I liked the story and found the characters interesting.
I was hoping for a larger character evolution, but for a short story it was pretty good.
Good job and keep writing!
~Castbound

This was an awesome game! A few spelling and grammar misteakes, but still good!

It really bored me, but I know you tried really hard and the story does have something, so I give you a 5.

smoove...

Not much choices. it's just like reading a book... more decision for the readers next time.:)

negative - a few spelling mistakes
positive - good description

- different options to go to the next page
- interesting story guideline

That was... fun, but its kind of annoying, just a little bit

Great, I guess!

pretty good a little bit of grammar errors but easy to ignore i liked it

fun

Great story line but too little choices, more story than game

2/8

I t was amazing! At first I thought the journey would be just one problem after another but at the end the problems that were fixed made it way harder to end the game.

6/8-ish because it was good, (You had fulfilled my expectations for a basic story.)but it might need more impacting decisions and details.

Everyone who played Save Your Dragon the orginal, this is the improvement version. Please give a fair rating.