The Cottage and the '73 Rallye
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 83 times (finished 11)
"run through the jungle"
"Not going to lose any sleep"
"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.
An old man's grit. His wive's past torment. A cottage in the Appalachian.
Entry for mizal's
Welcome to the Jungle
Are you kidding me? I mean are you actually kidding me? Are you just completely and utterly fucking retarded? What the fuck is wrong with you? … Flounder! The Little Mermaid’s fish friend is Flounder! Rating this game 1/8 for your completely unacceptable lack of knowledge on Disney trivia. Hang your head in shame!
Other than that, the writing was great and the story was engaging. I usually find that horror elements in CYS style games are very difficult to pull off, but you did a great job. Didn’t really have much to do with the jungle theme, but can’t really fault the story on that. Could definitely have done with a few more branching options, but then I guess you have to pace yourself pretty carefully when there’s a deadline.
All in all, really good game… But I just can’t forgive the protagonist for not remembering who Flounder is. >.<
on 7/6/2020 11:07:04 AM with a score of 0
I have differing thoughts about this story. Some elements of the storygame are great, while others fall a bit short. If anyone's skimming the comments before reading, just know that you won't regret reading this story.
So, let's start with that. The story. It's pretty stereotypical, really. It starts with a journey into an obviously insidious forest -- err, jungle. That's the hard part with horror, though. Simply tagging a story with the horror genre puts expectations in everyone's mind. I wonder if this storygame would have higher ratings if it were published as a modern adventure. Anyway, due to the genre, it's pretty clear a haunting or something bad is going to happen. It removes some of the suspense, since you're expecting it to happen, but that doesn't mean it doesn't catch you by surprise. Getting a b0ner after killing your parents certainly wasn't expected.
Let's move onto the characters. Like my first paragraph states, some are really good and some aren't. Same thing with the characters. The grandfather is the shining start with the Challenger Rallye as a close second, oddly enough. It's a car, and it has more character that most of the cast lol. The other characters, besides the grandfather, serve as NPC types, only serving to further the plot along without contributing much. They're background noise in the story overall. That's not to say they're bland. Each has a quirky trait and individual mannerisms, but they don't do much on their own.
Unlike the stereotypical story and characters, the writing itself is quite good. It rises far above the setting of the storygame. It's very Stephen King-ish, using "the sweet style" often to spruce up different sections, which would be left forgotten on their own. In fact, a lot of the text format is exactly what King does. Take this example from "It." The sentence in parenthesis is italicized.
(oh stop it Beverly he's your FATHER and FATHERS don't kill DAUGHTERS)
he lost control, then?
The author does that sort of thing in the story. It's not a mistake with formatting. I like it. It throws the reader off balance during horrific sections, like the way a movie would use tilted camera angles.
I finally settled on rating a 6/8, although I was this close (I'm holding my thumb and forefinger closely together) to rating it a 7. Ultimately, I decided on a 6 because the story itself is limiting and generic. The writing is the strongest part of the storygame, held in check by an uninteresting setting. As far as the horror genre goes, it's a quality piece. The writing itself is truly the shining star here, other than the grandfather and his bitchin' car, of course.
on 7/3/2020 5:30:19 PM with a score of 0
This is an exciting, scary, and suspenseful story with good writing. It made my stomach clench in some places which is great for a story game because I'm not the kind of person who really is affected by fiction or scary movies unless there is a loud sound. It wasn't two linear, and I thought the pacing added a lot. In addition, I liked the way you integrated the jungle concept. However, there were a few problems; some sentences seemed like they were broken or something and this didn't make sense. Also, sometimes it went from the thoughts of one person to another and this was confusing. Also, without giving to many spoilers, I felt like father mark and/or the grandfather should have known what happened to the grandmother because of what they said about this happening before. I also feel like since this had happened before, she would have done a similar seen as the seen with father Mark and the protagonist where she became a child and said the things she said. This would have allowed everyone involved especially the Grandfather to know what had happened to her and it would have given her the opportunity to feed off their anguish. The last problem is I would have liked to know what happened to the protagonist during that 10 years after the event. Something I think would be good is a prequel where we could play as the grandfather, handling her daemon in the past, learning about how he met father Mark, how he fights the daemon, maybe a part at the end where we get to see what made the Grandmother remember what happened to her, ETC. I would also like to see a sequel where maybe the protagonist gets clean and sober and learns to fight other daemons so other people don't have to go through what he went through; you could combine these two challenges into a really great story game.
-- Future1 on 7/1/2020 2:06:03 PM with a score of 0
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