The Quick Dating Game

Player Rating4.97/8

"#217 overall, #22 for 2015"
based on 432 ratings since 01/29/2017
played 7,229 times (finished 341)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level6/8

"I'll need to see some identification"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 16. If this were a movie, it would probably between PG-13 and R.

Play the quick dating game and see if you can get the girl!

I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it. It was a lot of fun.

This is my official entry for the contest, "Brevity, the Soul of Wit" for August, 2015.

Please note: If you are easily offended by stereotypes, especially as they relate to men, women, and dating, please don't read, rate, or comment on this game. It is meant to be silly.

Player Comments

This is an awesome little satire, and I have no idea why it is rated so low (4.86 out of 8 as I write this; hopefully my 6 will pick it up a bit).

The storygame is so short that a lengthy review would be overkill. But the humor was spot-on, the characters were well drawn, and the length of the story was perfectly suited to the material. Oh, and I appreciated the homage to the Holy Hand Grenade.

For those who are wondering about the structure:

There is no branching at all, so far as I can tell. Therefore you can read the story once and find out whether or not you get the girl. Winning or losing all depends on how you answer the questions, so if you don't like the results the first time, just restart the game and just pick different responses.

Great (and fun) storygame!
-- Bill_Ingersoll on 9/15/2019 8:00:50 AM with a score of 0
If being a serial killer means spending an afternoon with cheesecake... then life has already got this covered!
-- Zinthinial on 1/18/2021 3:30:59 PM with a score of 0
it was funny. the jokes were great. i loved the homo-erotic relationship between bachelor 1 and 2
-- garbagewizard on 12/7/2020 3:22:46 PM with a score of 0
This was enjoyable enough and even made me chuckle a little bit. On the downside it just seems to be missing -something- I don't know exactly what, though that just might be my fault as a reader.
-- tmanaking on 11/18/2020 11:39:17 PM with a score of 0
This story behaves kind of like a quiz. The choices don't really affect anything until the end, where you "win" or "lose" based on your answers to the questions. I actually found this quite funny, as it showed how little any of the characters actually care about your personality, aside from how hot you seem.

Surprisingly, there are at least three endings, (not just the binary "you win" and "you lose" I was expecting), which helped to give the game a little depth, and more importantly, allowed for a few extra jokes.

All that to say, it's a funny, quick read. If you've got ten minutes to spare, give it a try.
-- jster02 on 9/19/2019 7:49:03 PM with a score of 0
A fun, quick, and silly game with a lot of little jokes and puns, many of which Avery noted and added onto in her review, although I am *very* disappointed that she did not add something about admiring that very fine set of knockers (yes, I find them much classier than using doorbells, Bob.)

If I could dream big, I would wish that this game had unique text for each possible response, with more jokes, rather than "well, that was a great answer" used as generic text. But I suppose that's what makes it the "quick" dating game.

This game is all about *pick the right response to get points*--it is not really predictable, and it doesn't really manner, because the pleasure of it is in the joking tone and funny responses. And it's quick enough that you can zip through all the possible responses and get every joke.

And what fine boobies you have there! (Yes, Bob, these boobies are a fine example of seabirds, closely related to the gannet.)

I'm trying to say that I like Boobs! (Yes, Bob, I thought that was one of the more popular of Ogre's games as well.)
-- Gower on 9/19/2019 8:50:25 AM with a score of 0
Bob: You’ve got some great cans there, Rita.

Rita: Yes, I bought them because I want to remind everybody how important it is to recycle.

Bob: And what a lovely pair of puppies.

Rita: Yes, I saved them from the shelter, and they’re both available for adoption.

Bob: How very sweet… But my, what impressive jugs you’ve got there!

Rita: Well, I thought the bachelors might be thirsty, so I made two batches of of my protein power, ultra vegan health smoothies!

Bob: Uhh… Sounds delicious. But awh! How cute! What tiny little tits you have!”

Rita: Oh yes Bob, they’re Willow tits. I’m really passionate about protecting endangered animals. Did you know that Willow tit numbers have fallen by 94 percent in the last 50 years?

Bob: Fascinating! But my, those are some enormous Bazookas.

Rita: I know! Don’t you think it’s terrible that in our great country of America, it’s still perfectly legal to own a rocket launcher? Doesn’t our government understand how many children we lose to school shootings every year?

Bob: Tragic… But Rita, would you mind if I take a closer look at those lovely melons?

Rita: You sure can! I’m an extremely liberal and open-minded person who loves men of all races and nationalities… So I bought these melons in case one of the contestants was black. I hear those guys love watermelon!

Bob: And what an appetizing set of breasts.

Rita: I hear they love fried chicken too.

Bob: How very thoughtful... Well, we should really get to the questions now. But before I do, I’d just like to compliment you on those lovely Mammory Glads.

Rita: Oh, thank you! 34 DDs, these are! I got them done real cheap in a Turkish guy’s basement.
-- Avery_Moore on 9/17/2019 9:53:39 AM with a score of 0
-- Nada on 6/23/2019 1:43:26 PM with a score of 0
Boring, I didn't even read half of it
-- Seikryn on 5/25/2019 4:55:59 PM with a score of 0
Very well made. And pretty funny too. First perfect score from me. 8/10
-- That was on 2/20/2019 1:06:53 AM with a score of 0
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