WolfPack

This storygame is linear. It seems that each page either has a right and wrong answer, or contains two choices that lead to the same outcome. In fact, it makes no difference to the storygame which wolf you pick to play as at the start, nor whether you choose to go to the river or the plateau later on, despite this choice apparently being important.

You provide very little explanation of the plot or the setting. When the mysterious wolf reveals that none of your past is real, it has no impact on me as a reader because I have no clue what the past of the protagonist is. It's also unrealistic that you would just blindly believe this wolf instead of asking questions. Why will nobody remember anything but me? If the past is fake, why does it matter if these fake people forget everything if their memories (and they themselves) weren't real to begin with? There's no explanation of how you save the day, only that "you did it!".

I noticed you made at least a little effort with the grammar. Your spelling, capitalisation and punctuation seemed fine, and you used the correct your/you're, however there was the odd mistake (eg. using "had" instead of "have"). Still, the writing was impressive given the ordinary quality of the storygame itself.

You lacked continuity. At one point a link says "go back to the river" regardless of whether or not I have been to the river previously. Another example is what happens to you if you abandon your quest. If you leave before learning about the fate of the world from the mysterious wolf, you'll live a normal life, but if you talk to the mysterious wolf and then run away everyone will lose their memories.

Overall, this storygame was confusing. I can tell you put some effort into this but it was not enjoyable to read. If you work more on writing coherent plots, creating believable characters, and designing interesting settings I'm sure your future storygames will be a lot better, because you have the spelling and grammar side of things down pat.

Well it wasn't bad but to be honest, I was kind of disappointed. I really like games where you play as animals 'cos you get to take a peek at the world from an animal's point of view, but in this game, I really didn't understand why the character was a wolf. Wolves don't have healers or collect herbs and stuff. This story could have been about a person who lived in a tribe that was blocked from the outside world and it would have made a lot more sense. Or it could have just been a story about a regular wolf and that would have been good too, but it feels like you came up with a story about humans and randomly made the main characters wolves instead.

Okay... I'll back away very, very slowly.

Seriously. Randomly clicking moved me through the game even if I... I just don't get it. I'm some random wolf, running from random pack, trusting strange other wolves and saving the day by doing some random stuff.

Can you at least write what did I save the day from?

Im sorry but it just doesnt really make senece. I thought this was going to be realiest but no, and its really borning im sorry.

its so BORING it feels like the story is boring. VERY. its annoying and laggy

its ok

Your the thing i was looking for

it good

No offense, but that was just short and boring.

awwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooo