Player Comments on WolfPack
This storygame is linear. It seems that each page either has a right and wrong answer, or contains two choices that lead to the same outcome. In fact, it makes no difference to the storygame which wolf you pick to play as at the start, nor whether you choose to go to the river or the plateau later on, despite this choice apparently being important.
You provide very little explanation of the plot or the setting. When the mysterious wolf reveals that none of your past is real, it has no impact on me as a reader because I have no clue what the past of the protagonist is. It's also unrealistic that you would just blindly believe this wolf instead of asking questions. Why will nobody remember anything but me? If the past is fake, why does it matter if these fake people forget everything if their memories (and they themselves) weren't real to begin with? There's no explanation of how you save the day, only that "you did it!".
I noticed you made at least a little effort with the grammar. Your spelling, capitalisation and punctuation seemed fine, and you used the correct your/you're, however there was the odd mistake (eg. using "had" instead of "have"). Still, the writing was impressive given the ordinary quality of the storygame itself.
You lacked continuity. At one point a link says "go back to the river" regardless of whether or not I have been to the river previously. Another example is what happens to you if you abandon your quest. If you leave before learning about the fate of the world from the mysterious wolf, you'll live a normal life, but if you talk to the mysterious wolf and then run away everyone will lose their memories.
Overall, this storygame was confusing. I can tell you put some effort into this but it was not enjoyable to read. If you work more on writing coherent plots, creating believable characters, and designing interesting settings I'm sure your future storygames will be a lot better, because you have the spelling and grammar side of things down pat.
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October
on 7/8/2013 10:55:48 PM with a score of 0
Well it wasn't bad but to be honest, I was kind of disappointed. I really like games where you play as animals 'cos you get to take a peek at the world from an animal's point of view, but in this game, I really didn't understand why the character was a wolf. Wolves don't have healers or collect herbs and stuff. This story could have been about a person who lived in a tribe that was blocked from the outside world and it would have made a lot more sense. Or it could have just been a story about a regular wolf and that would have been good too, but it feels like you came up with a story about humans and randomly made the main characters wolves instead.
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Briar_Rose
on 3/19/2013 1:41:27 PM with a score of 0
Okay... I'll back away very, very slowly.
Seriously. Randomly clicking moved me through the game even if I... I just don't get it. I'm some random wolf, running from random pack, trusting strange other wolves and saving the day by doing some random stuff.
Can you at least write what did I save the day from?
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maheusz
on 3/18/2013 3:20:25 AM with a score of 0
Im sorry but it just doesnt really make senece. I thought this was going to be realiest but no, and its really borning im sorry.
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— eh, on 8/4/2024 5:36:03 PM with a score of 0
its so BORING it feels like the story is boring. VERY. its annoying and laggy
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— dhyr on 8/2/2024 6:22:05 PM with a score of 0
its ok
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— Tiger Girl on 4/17/2023 9:03:40 AM with a score of 0
Your the thing i was looking for
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— Wolfie on 12/31/2022 11:47:44 AM with a score of 0
it good
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— makenna on 12/7/2022 12:02:49 PM with a score of 0
No offense, but that was just short and boring.
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— Delgado on 7/26/2022 5:50:49 PM with a score of 0
awwwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooo
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— alpha wolve on 5/5/2022 8:51:52 PM with a score of 0
It was ok i guess
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— Nina on 4/6/2022 1:07:49 PM with a score of 0
its not the best but its not the worst
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— WillowUndertaleLover on 3/12/2022 4:30:58 PM with a score of 0
Not my favorite game but kind of good.
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— Kiera Shear-Michaels on 3/12/2022 10:56:54 AM with a score of 0
Add more
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— It was short and meh on 12/6/2021 12:56:03 AM with a score of 0
It’s not the best
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— Something on 11/21/2021 6:33:30 PM with a score of 0
this is the best thing ever!
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— sabrina on 10/23/2021 3:57:57 PM with a score of 0
its not bad but you could meet your mate in this so try to add this please
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— Zoe on 5/15/2021 8:45:15 PM with a score of 0
I love the game it’s way better than Reese's
peanut butter cups
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— BellaL on 4/6/2021 9:12:05 AM with a score of 0
i loved it
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— moon pack on 4/1/2021 8:23:17 PM with a score of 0
I want to be a wolf now
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— Lexie on 2/17/2021 11:35:35 PM with a score of 0
This game is amazing!! Im gonna tell all my friends about this, im sure they'll love it as much as I do. You did a wonderful Job creating this game, maybe you should do a sequel!
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— Tesk on 1/24/2021 12:38:48 PM with a score of 0
Its pretty cool I like how u can go bk (back) into the story when you die I chose winter bc (because) Im a female my self but there was one problem though she was the only female
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— AJ on 1/3/2021 1:34:23 AM with a score of 0
ehh i thought u would see stuff
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— kayla on 12/21/2020 12:00:47 PM with a score of 0
It was good, but could be better.
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— Stone on 12/12/2020 5:28:42 PM with a score of 0
Additional background and detail would've been nice; this game is very barebones. It's also A.D.D. the way that it jumps around. There is no character development I saw, or much in the way of a coherent plot. I don't think enough effort was put into the game to bring it much higher than 2/8.
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AnthonyScoffler
on 12/10/2020 6:40:35 PM with a score of 0
can you make more amazing games like this one but only? make like a simorlater
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— MaKenna on 12/10/2020 5:27:09 PM with a score of 0
stay far away from me
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— gaby on 12/9/2020 1:04:56 PM with a score of 0
i love history
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— gaby on 12/9/2020 1:01:29 PM with a score of 0
Wow, fun! You should add pictures to it, I think it would look cooler.
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— Luna Wolf on 12/7/2020 9:16:59 AM with a score of 0
I was so cool and it interesting.
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— samantha on 11/11/2020 6:51:16 PM with a score of 0
This is better than homework
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— Wolfywolfq on 11/6/2020 10:57:43 AM with a score of 0
AMAZING!
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— Jill on 11/5/2020 6:17:25 PM with a score of 0
This is my first time playing this game and I am enjoying it very much
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— Steve on 11/1/2020 1:37:48 AM with a score of 0
Hi. This is great but when I clicked the link I really thought that I would be playing with other people not a story. Good effort though.
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— Fierceclaw on 10/26/2020 6:15:29 PM with a score of 0
???? That was the most confusing quiz I've ever took!??
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— sariah on 9/15/2020 6:03:51 PM with a score of 0
this isnt even a good story!!!
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— wolf on 8/1/2020 12:28:06 PM with a score of 0
That was kinda boring but it was fun kinda and can you please update this and give some more options and things
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— Mya on 7/5/2020 7:44:24 PM with a score of 0
Very nice little text game. Dialogue is very well written.
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— Anonymous on 6/5/2020 3:10:54 PM with a score of 0
Truly inspirational. now i know to ever give up when my friends and loved ones need me the most.
I must never let them down again.
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— KyoraWolfen on 6/2/2020 8:50:35 PM with a score of 0
its a fun chose your own adventure game
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— wolflover445 on 5/12/2020 1:41:58 PM with a score of 0
it was okay
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— cleo on 5/8/2020 6:38:27 PM with a score of 0
its so fun because u can make up a story and it keeps me entertained.
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— Kyla on 5/1/2020 12:09:30 PM with a score of 0
It was fun.
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— Kyla on 4/30/2020 7:02:25 PM with a score of 0
its not that inter active and theres no visuals also the game is very short
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— Liv on 4/6/2020 5:12:50 PM with a score of 0
Its okay but a short game. This game could be online and could have pictures but I liked how I choose the wolf had a fake dark past and he discovered his own past. Good game but I highly suggest to work on some stuff. Hope to see some good updates and I look forward to playing this game again the next time I go on my computer. This game is good that it is based on wolfs but it could use more. Cant wait to see this game next time. :) Thanks for reading my comment and I hope to see good updates soon! Have a great day!
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— Emily on 3/17/2020 3:53:30 PM with a score of 0
I completed it first try, but the next time, I answered differently, and it was hilarious. you click on the wrong one, YOU DIED!!! seriously loved it.
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— ThatOnePerson on 3/17/2020 2:36:23 AM with a score of 0
I thought it was amazing and exciting. I only wish that it went on instead of stopping there.
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— Bethany on 3/13/2020 9:41:52 AM with a score of 0
I like it I didnt know you did this way
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— ashley on 1/27/2020 8:03:20 PM with a score of 0
bleugh!!....
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— unknown on 1/23/2020 8:09:40 PM with a score of 0
wow..........
i did the stuff i wouldn't normally
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— Stephen on 1/20/2020 2:37:45 PM with a score of 0
You have made an amazing game i just wish there was more to it
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— Sarah on 12/12/2019 3:34:05 PM with a score of 0
This is a weird game and you can't even play a good game
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— Bella on 12/12/2019 2:50:34 PM with a score of 0
I like this games so
Much.
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— Deonleggs on 12/9/2019 8:43:59 PM with a score of 0
its really confusing, i dont understand...
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— ... on 12/6/2019 10:42:53 PM with a score of 0
What the hell is this and how has it survived so long past its natural lifespan? Was not expecting to encounter an ancient shambling horror from the site's dark past today. I'd have preferred a Shoggoth to another incomprehensible wolf game by a nine year old tbh.
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Mizal
on 11/10/2019 10:23:56 AM with a score of 0
Amazing!
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— Chloe on 11/9/2019 9:57:56 AM with a score of 0
oof that was strange....
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— Tatyana on 10/29/2019 10:33:07 AM with a score of 0
well it shows no picktures
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— silentshadow on 10/9/2019 4:18:51 PM with a score of 0
i loveddd this, b ut can u make more options and more parts to the story so that you dont die as quickly....... just asking...
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— ambyr on 10/7/2019 2:26:52 PM with a score of 0
Was not as fun as I thought it to be, but still good. Going to try to look for other wolf games
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— Summer - Winter on 8/11/2019 11:21:36 PM with a score of 0
Really not the best game
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— MIchael on 3/19/2018 10:33:42 AM with a score of 0
It was fun I saved the day!
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— Heeelllooo! on 2/26/2018 9:55:22 PM with a score of 0
THIS GAME IS TERRIBLE
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— kim on 5/6/2017 2:23:50 PM with a score of 0
An amusing story, if your a preschooler
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— Reaver17 on 8/28/2016 12:53:09 AM with a score of 0
really confusing
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MidnightJay
on 8/19/2016 3:41:00 PM with a score of 0
I'm....confused...
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Seto
on 7/18/2016 12:10:36 PM with a score of 0
I am very confused.
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MisterMeep5
on 3/31/2016 8:20:47 PM with a score of 0
This is way too short. And what did i do to save the day?
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hounddog456
on 3/30/2016 10:19:12 PM with a score of 0
Okay.. Wow. I'm gonna have to put this bluntly. No proper storyline, no character development, bad grammer, random sentences that don't complement the storyline, the only good thing is that you made somewhat of an effort -_- Look, I advise you remake this, this had a lot of potential, but you need to improve. A lot.
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— DragonSteele on 7/10/2015 7:17:27 AM with a score of 0
You know what, I really hate games where you somewhat die immediately after just two pages.
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Penworth
on 6/21/2015 3:30:37 AM with a score of 0
Good story, though quite confusing. I think it deserves nothing below a 5/8.
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Flamepelt43
on 12/27/2014 9:16:14 AM with a score of 0
Cool. I guess
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Wolfmist
on 12/22/2014 12:07:51 PM with a score of 0
I liked it, though it was kind of confusing. Still, it was nice and short. Keep writing!
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Flamepelt43
on 11/26/2014 12:46:10 PM with a score of 0
What are all of these packs about? Give me details!
Also, what did I save the day from?
WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING?????!!!!
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DerpBacon
on 11/24/2014 3:43:23 PM with a score of 0
Not exactly the best wolf story.
CYS has few wolf story games, and not many get the best ratings, I understand, but this, in my opinion, DESERVES a 2 or 3.
It is short, and very random at times. There were some very minor grammar errors. The plot was hard to follow. I didn't exactly understand what was happening.
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DerpBacon
on 11/8/2014 10:46:28 AM with a score of 0
It was ok. It felt somewhat like a Warriors fanfic but with wolves instead, although I don't know if that was the intention. It was lacking in detail, both writing and plot wise.
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31TeV
on 10/12/2014 4:16:30 AM with a score of 0
hard to follow, but better than what i have played before.
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— stormpelt on 9/17/2014 10:40:23 PM with a score of 0
One comment - What the fudge was happening the whole entire time?
1/8 :-(
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Author4
on 5/2/2014 8:43:54 AM with a score of 0
I didn't like it. No offense. Somehow I won just by looking at a reflection.
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— Anonymous person who didn't li on 3/16/2014 1:14:15 PM with a score of 0
I'm not going to say this sucked and be a fursecutor, but, the idea was a bit shitty, and the execution was very poor. the 2 point differnce between a 1 and the 3 I gave it was the effort you went through to make this.
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ISentinelPenguinI
on 11/5/2013 6:56:46 PM with a score of 0
Good game. Very creative.
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BullShacked
on 10/28/2013 9:44:59 PM with a score of 0
short.
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— walker on 8/15/2013 3:03:27 PM with a score of 0
Okay,this game was weird,random,confusing,and just icky.
First,how did I save anything?
Second,Why do I randomly become "really hungry,really thirsty,and really tired"??
HUGE plot holes,too linear,no common sense,pretty much a crappy ripoff of WarriorCats,and the ending makes no sense.
Normally,I wouldn't play a terrible game again,just to rate it.But i felt I did it for the community.
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PikachuAuditore
on 8/8/2013 7:55:30 PM with a score of 0
Too linear! But interesting concept.
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nitrogalaxy
on 4/8/2013 7:00:59 AM with a score of 0
The writing was ok, but I had no idea what was going on the whole time.
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Xt1000305
on 3/30/2013 6:54:01 AM with a score of 0
Needs more explanation of what's going on. the story is strange, "Come with me or die of old age". Also, the ending makes no sense.
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tal4840
on 3/23/2013 8:04:28 PM with a score of 0
I think that you used a good storytelling technique to bait your audience by not just telling them all the background info right up front...plunging into the action, but there should be some more gradual revealing and depth along the way. Interesting though!
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RipElliott
on 3/19/2013 2:51:41 AM with a score of 0
I found this a bit strange and random...
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wolf7
on 3/18/2013 11:08:14 PM with a score of 0
Fatal Flaw: No background info. Without that, this is pretty much as good as random crap.
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Swiftstryker
on 3/18/2013 7:47:12 PM with a score of 0
Why do i get the feeling this is a really short and underdeveloped ripoff of Warrior-Cats?
Otherwise good job but try to be a bit more descriptive.
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Fireplay
on 3/18/2013 5:01:10 PM with a score of 0
i gave it a five i feel it has a lot of potential it just needs more detail
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JamesValkyrie
on 3/18/2013 2:56:51 PM with a score of 0
Very odd, no idea how anything I did "saved the day".
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Evagirl
on 3/18/2013 6:11:21 AM with a score of 0
I love this game. I just hope that it is a bit longer, more descriptive.
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toni
on 3/18/2013 3:10:37 AM with a score of 0
This is my first story...
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Natworld
on 3/17/2013 10:49:50 PM with a score of 0
Please comment!
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Natworld
on 3/17/2013 10:48:10 PM with a score of 0
Not sure I got this a decent game but really no back story or story in general and no hints which way I won just by guessing
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hugo23
on 3/17/2013 10:30:09 PM with a score of 0
Awesome! I loved it!
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missyworld
on 3/17/2013 9:08:06 PM with a score of 0
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