roffdoff, The Reader

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11/14/2019 6:27 PM

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bawk bawk bitch


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I will never finish this

Sogus the Insatiable

Play as a dickhead idiot goblin running a smuggling ring! Avoid the police and rival gangs while trying to earn a fortune.

The Tale of Richard Killdick
Play as a man named Richard Killdick. Three paths and endings: Change for the Better, No Remorse, and Leave it all Behind

Recent Posts

100 Words or Less on 11/13/2019 10:13:36 PM
A hand grips me from behind. I don't look back, I just keep walking. Past the cackling black bushes. I laugh with them, and a part of me unravels. Past the dude in the electric chair. He's not strapped in, but stays seated. Past the writhing red mountain called Monkey. I want to stop and stare, but the hand urges me ever forward. I look down, and remember. The hand told me to walk. The hand held to a thread of my soul. I've come undone, because I chose to walk away. I look down, and simply cease to be. 100 words. Based on the song Undone (The Sweater Song) by Weezer. Give it a listen if you haven't already.

100 Words or Less on 10/29/2019 12:05:39 AM
I've always had trouble with tense changes thanks for pointing that out

100 Words or Less on 10/28/2019 11:55:03 PM
pretty sure it's 94 words "Mommy, why can't we go see gramma anymore?" "She moved, darling. We don't have the money to visit. I'm sorry, darling." I never understood why we can't visit her, when she still visits me. Most nights I see her at the foot of my bed. Staring at me. Sometimes her ragged breathing will keep me awake. One night I asked her, "Gramma, you don't look well. Are you sick?" I've always felt bad for saying that. She started weeping. Then wailing. Then the blood from her eyes. I never said anything to her after that.

Racing Games on 10/19/2019 2:36:46 PM
Fortnite 2 and LEGO Racers

ah, the sweet innocence of childhood on 10/18/2019 11:58:02 PM
If you don't know what night terrors are, here's a mathematical equation. nightmare + sleepwalking + actually being mostly awake + ghosts/monsters + being a child = scary shit They almost always happen in childhood and you kinda grow out of them. My brother had them like once a month when he was little, but the thing was he could never remember anything after it happened. We could never understand what he was seeing that made him act autistic, which makes it way funnier. He was always bawling whenever it happened. Here are some of my favorites. One time he went downstairs while me and my parents were watching a movie, went directly to the closet, put on my angry birds backpack, and walked up the stairs ripping moderately large farts every other step. One time he ran into my parents room naked screaming "look at my bottom," spreading his ass cheeks for them to see... whatever it was he wanted them to see. One time my mom woke up to a loud repeating banging noise and shouting coming from me and my brothers room. He was trying to stand up in bed, but being on the bottom bunk he just kept ramming his head into the metal bars under my mattress and then screaming in pain, then trying again a few seconds later. Apparently I slept through the whole thing. Now I know what you're thinking. How could you have come up with such an accurate mathematical equation if you've never had a night terror, and your brother can't remember any of his? Because for some reason I remember the only one I ever had. Or maybe I've had more, and I can't remember those. I remember walking down the kinda long narrow hallway we had in our old house, the only lighting coming from the moon through the small skylight. Everything was SUPER LOUD, like my feet moving on the carpet was deafening, and I was hearing things that weren't there. I think they were coming from the walls. I felt like I was moving really slowly, like in those dreams where you're running away from something but you're at half speed. I knew there was something behind me, so I kept running, but I was actually walking slowly because nightmares. I got to the open doorway of one of our other rooms, and I looked inside and saw a face on the wall. A huge one. It was smiling at me, but in a bad way. For some reason I instantly made the connection that the face and my unseen follower was Satan. Maybe it was. Maybe it was actually real. To this day ghosts are by far my greatest fear, even though I don't think I've ever seen one.

boner time on 10/18/2019 11:08:20 PM
I love it when I read a story and can completely envision what's going on by the words alone. You somehow managed to do that while making it super trippy, which I could never do. Held my interest all the way through. Thank you for the boner-worthy tale. 10/10

Fresh Meat: Baiting and Hooking Thread 3 on 10/13/2019 10:56:00 AM
Good question, but most chickens don't wear clothes. A better example would be when I see a particularly attractive hen walking down the street. That's when I become roffdon. It's strange to think that, among both human and chickens, we find chicken breasts to be appealing. Although you humans prefer it stripped of feathers and roasted, at least we can agree on something. Also, I have to know. @BerkaZerka do you surf?

Fresh Meat: Baiting and Hooking Thread 3 on 10/13/2019 2:27:53 AM
Do me next