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The Kingdom

one year ago
Commended by EndMaster on 10/12/2018 6:13:20 AM

Time for a story motherfuckers!

It all started a long time ago, and there were dungeons...and dragons.  The land was filled with warriors, cats, and warrior cats.  Nuubs ran amok, entering the hallowed halls of cystia...and smearing shit all over the books!  And writing three sentence long...."masterpieces"!  

The warrior cats ran around, spreading their disease.  They vomited all over the place, and spread their tales of cringe as far as the eye could see.  

There was a guy, a great guy.  His name was the banisher, but he died or something.  But he probably helped out with the purges.  There were a sworn few...or many (the legends are kind of fuzzy, you know?)

There was the legendary hero, Berka Zerka.  This guy, had the hugest.....you know...around.  Oh what, no his hammer silly!  Any ways, this guy beat the living shit out of the warrior cats.  But they were so numerous, that our great and righteous hero had to step back.  He watched in horror as they filled the land up with shit and filth, and he was sad.  

So this good hero traveled across the land, even the Dark Lands.  Where the great and mighty necromancer lived.  He was this kinda short dude, but that didn't matter because he could fuck you up, bro.  This man had some vicious hands and shit...and fuck the scythe.  The Dead Lord had this wicked ass sword, for smiting idiots with.

As he and Berka worked on cleansing the land, Berka would give his righteous speeches, and it was all cool and shit.  On the other hand, the Master of the End times would just say "Lol you are fucking gay" and smite his foes.  These guys died horrible, twisted deaths, and deservedly so.  This guy had such a reputation, that when Berka killed some idiot, their disembodied ghost would approach him and blame him for their death.  He would laugh and make them dance for him

Despite this battle being against the warrior cat morons, there was this other guy.  The Killler Robot, he was crafted out of the finest materials, and made to serve some idiots castle.  But the spirit of some old ladies dead cat took it over, and he wrecked that castle.  He would soon grow to serve among the faithful, and Sir Berka Zerka would call upon him to assist.

As time grew on, he became slimmer and stealthier,  he went from a large, bulky robot to a slim one.  He was Cystia's resident assassin!  He murdered the shit out of those fools, and they never saw it coming!  

There was a man, hell bent of revenge, killing the poor orcs of the land (the poor babies), and all was cool and good. This Finnan dude even tried to write a story.  But the Dark Overseer caught the dude furiously thumping his hand in his window a few too many times.  And he thought all was lost (haha yeah right) as this great threat obsessed over him.

But out of nowhere the great Killer Cat Robot attacked from the shadows!  Wuuuusha!  The End Lord dudes servants were cleaning up the bits and remains of the Fin dude for weeks. 

Going back a bit, there was this dude with a giant fucking snake.  This Irish fella, could somehow pull off being polite and kind to all, while also drinking the boozle to bamboozle the faint of heart!  He made these inferior fucks feel like horseshit, and his absolute steel nutsack wouldn't let them feel otherwise.  He would go on to write fucking great ass volumes while his snake killed morons!

There was this guy, who timid and shy at first (would pee down his own leg alot), and would get the kneepads to...assist anyone that remotely needed it.  He was annoying and dumb at first, but would soon show that those who would underestimate him were fools.  For although he was ordinary to begin with, he had a good heart, and using that his starting potential was greater than many who had reached their peak.

Then, there was the fair elf lady.  She was always willing to help the Nuubs, even though most of them turned out to be idiots who needed to be fucking smited.  She was really freaking short, but short people are scary when angry.  And her hatred for morons struck fear and respect into the unworthy.  One day some Nuub told her to fuck off or something, so she blinded them with her Paladin Powers of Light.  Then she decapitated the poor dumb fuck, and legend has it she still has a bunch of Nuub heads and organs preserved in her ice box.  

But it's okay because that is what happens when the sanctity of CYS is threatened.  The peace has been kept and saved, and while for now the land is uneventful, the morons have been weeded out and smited.  A cave system was rented out and renovated by the elf woman, and the old castle was abandoned.  The new place was populated by cool people new and old.

Then this dude named Malk, a long standing member of the community, started getting hormonal and raging on everyone.  They were baffled as he was so cool.  But he said a few mean things to some people, and even though it was fucked up he went by unscathed.  Until the next day The Dark Lordy and Malk met up.

The Reaper of Souls laughed and told this Malk how he was being pretty foolish. 

"Ha! Kill me you fuck, you won't!" Malk cried.

"Moron."

And with that the Lordy of the End Times blasted Malk with his ray of death.

As he lay there dying, Malk coughed blood out the side of his mouth.

"It was....just a joke" Malk said, "I never got to finish the punchline."

"This is the punchline!" The Dark Guy of Doom said as he smited Malk one last time.....

And that kiddos, is the story of CYS.  The land of crying noobs, and awesome stories and tales.  Hope you enjoyed, good night.  Hope you enjoyed my first CYStia story.

The Kingdom

one year ago

Well I liked it.

The Kingdom

one year ago

Glad you enjoyed this mess lol

The Kingdom

one year ago

This was instructive.

The Kingdom

one year ago
RIP Malk.

I just found out about this, I'm still coming to terms with the fact he died with a sad wet fart and didn't seem to even mind that much rather than in the midst of some kind of Viking berserker rage like we all expected. Very anticlimactic.

The Kingdom

one year ago

The odd thing is when he first joined, he was one of the few people at the time that was so annoying that I actually called for his banning. (Of course JJJ needed "good reasons" for such things)

While it was anti-climatic it was still a little sudden.

Best comparable scenario is that Malk just slowly deteriorated with a bad meth habit and was reduced to pleasuring men in public bathrooms for more drug money.

And then one day Malk pointed a gun to his head and said, "Hey you think this is loaded?" before pulling the trigger.

People always figured that he was just high off his ass and did it accidently, but those that were there to actually see it, they saw in his eyes that glimmer that he knew he was as low as he could get and with no hope or motivation left to improve his station, he was done with life.

If anything, it was a mercy killing and I took no joy in his execution.

In any case, his faggotry has now ended. Now he rests.

Be free cappy, be free!

RIP Malkalack

7/18/2014 - 10/11/2018

The Kingdom

one year ago

The Kingdom

one year ago

Lmao 

The Kingdom

one year ago
Bless his three sizes too small heart. Even my wholesome crusade couldn't save him.

Also Corgi, I'm sad that my crusade didn't get at least two sentences. I worked hard to bring wholesomeness to the land. I failed... But dammit I tried!

The Kingdom

one year ago
My manipulations and scheming came to fruition! Yeah, but it was pretty funny though to see it happen real time. It was glorious.

The Kingdom

one year ago
Well, that was entertaining. Considering Malk's general attitude it doesn't surprise me much that he crossed the line (though it does peak my curiosity.) Did this all go down over Discord?

The Kingdom

one year ago

Yeah, though he's still not banned at the Discord, that will be up to Mizal if she so desires.

The Kingdom

one year ago

Update: Malk is now dead in the CYS Discord as well.

He pulled a gun. Everyone saw it.

Move along citizens.

The Kingdom

one year ago
It all happened so fast it's really just a blur, but I wouldn't doubt a death god's word, nor should any of you. Glory to Cystia.

The Kingdom

one year ago

Alright yu cucks. Fucking storytime agian!  

Where was I?

Oh yes, the Death Lordy had just smited our very dear Malk.  But his dismebodied ghost wandered the halls of Discorina being sppoooooooky, and yelling "CUUUUUUUUUUM!" down the halls, A sight and sound to be loved by all, for the disembodied specter of our dear friend was very welcomed.  But sometimes children, life happens differently.

so this Mlak guy was flaoting through Cystia.  And minding his own business, but then, man he had too much to drink or something.  The days of wholesomness by the prerttiest princess Sabley had ended.  It was some good times at first, but then eventually the Malkkk got a lkittle upset.  so for his own good was kicked.

buchaayythryay That Mizal woman's boot hit him directly in the fucking face, and he tumbled down the stpes like "ooh eee ahh ooh ee ahh oooh heee haaa!" until he hit the bottom.  From tehre he went back to Cystia, but he found a secret door in.  

Fuclk

No one is quite sure to this day how the fyuck it happened.  But it was fucking horrible, man.  Sabley was there, and so was that purest AYT.  Shit, someone left a door open or unlcked or somehitng. Everything was fine and everyone was sitting around the Wholesome Table of Wholesomeness.  A secret place, mind you.  More like, a castle of purity hidden within the rocks of the place.  

I think umm, Maya heard it first.  She was like "something is wrong" and everyone was like "What the hell are you talking about?"

Then it happended.  First, he stripped down naked.  Thje whjole shit was discovered, and as he bent over to take his shoes off, man I heard it was bad.  Gooey ooey nasty gooey and watery shit just flew the fuck everywhere out of his hallowed and revered asshole.  'That shit even got all around in the little kitchen and shit, and in the littlke pad everyone put their fucking sheos on.

And his hand, my God his hands.  The Malkkj just rubbed that shit, right out in front of everyone.  He knew, he had to take our shit down.  Our establishment of peace and wholseome ass prostperity for all.  Fuck, it was all going so good.  That Corgi vunt was abusimg his power, that was freaking sweet.  There is nothing better than doing that kind of freakitng shit on peopel.  Ha ha, just kidding, for it is I., corgi the great and wonderful.  And I am too wholseome for such things.

But yeah that Malk motherfcker, what a guy.  He was projectile shitting and cumming everywhere.  By goodness it was messy as fuck, by the time some of yus got back.  It was all ogre, 

Mizal screamed "fuck this" and took everyuone out, and burned the palce down, and danced around it in her panties and bashes her face into a fuckng stone because fuck it, why not?

Everyonje followed syit and stripped down to their underwar and verbally took a massive shit on Malk, and other nasty things.  He toolk it in stride and ogt down on his motherufcking knees and took that shit like a hcukging champion.  Our very own champipon of shit and cum and other good and bad things.  

Now this was before Malk's untimely demise on cys, mind you.  The wrorst shit of shit was still to fucking come.  And it was gonna be shit on shit fucking mtherfuckng awflk.

So, fuck, let me set the scene, and shut the fuck uo while I do this. I gotta concentrate and shit...jeez...sfcuk.

Okay, so it was just about any normal day in discordina.  Mizal was doing whatever things Mizals do.  Steve was probably fucking someone or something, or lawyering and shit.  AYT was being pure, and Sabley was assisting Maya on teaching some chikens pn how to kil some motherfuckers.  End Master, in his infinite glory and wisdom, was sitting in his Necromancer rocking chair (made out of bones and shit) and overloooking all.  

Berka passed by, and the two nodded.  But Berka didn't look too long as it appeared, somebody's mom was doing the fellatio on the Dead Lord Man, but this isn;t a sex scene fo we will hold off ont he details.

He looked upon all the glorious names of the server, and something was wrong!!  :0

Some fucking cunt had changed their name from "Malk": to "End Master". and then to "End's Master"

The Good Death Fella got up from his chair, and projected with a voice that could out Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson to shame., and said "Hey styupid ass mother fucking tentacle sucking, dick taking, freaking dumb ass, stupid ass, icith ass, duck ass taking freaking mother fucker! Waht is the meanign of this"

Malk, was high, drunk, and stoned.  And shook his head as he had no clue what was going on.  It was a miserable matter, as no one truly wanted to see this, but sometimes it may be for the best...at least for a while.

"?Waht the fuck do you mean bruh?" Malk said as he stumbled away, wavng a knife at AYT, and making obscure and stange threats.

End Master shook his head, and knew it had to be done.  His hand reverbedtated with the poiwer of one thousand moms shaking their boobs onto tje dick of some due with a hawiaiian shirt, drunk, and staanded naked on an island.  The energy blasted forward, and even Malks ghost became apparent, the blow asaaulted his very essence.

That Mlak fell, and clutching his ghoistly torso proclaimed "EJUEIREHRENHJ, why the fuck?"

"You know, it had to nbe doen," End MASTER said, hus hand trembled with the tmight of one thousand shaking freaking soulzs. 

"You did bad tings gor  a very lonjg tiem," Endy Lordy Saidy.

Malk dude was like "I....I'll always likje dick and stuff."

"I know, I know," End soothed him, with a raspy undead voice.

"Now," End said, "think of the longest dick you can Lenny- err, I mean Malk"

"Ahh, it's so long and har-"

"Okay, too gay." End Master said as the magic negative nerygy took over his hadm.  He shoved his hand throught gosht Malks chest.  The ghost man strugflled, and suffered for ten minutes or so before dying, finally coughing up blood, shit and cum before passing on.

And then, the sotry of a guy with too much time on hius hands passed.  End shook his head and unceremonously threw the ghostly corpse in with the ghost chickens, and they ate the pooped on the corpse.  The most repsefvctalbe fate to pass a banned and kille ddue by far.

 

RIP Malk, you're dead and shit.