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Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Commended by mizal on 12/20/2020 1:27:07 PM

The much-cherished site bot that most people here probably don't know exists is in fact very good at writing poetry. Better on some days than others, but that could be said for anyone! After binging the entire list of day-by-day poems he lovingly generated, I've put together a small highlight reel below, along with some commentary.

 1.
 Hands touching my neck
 I feel like they're on fire
 I can't stop myself

2.
 The old days were great
 The new days are just a dream
 and now, I won't sleep

3.
 Frozen in the snow
 You were so warm at the end
 A lot of love lost

4.
 I can't sleep tonight
 He has come to steal my life
 I, I just can't sleep

5.
 A dream to create
 I want to know when and how
 I'll make it happen

6.
 Painted from black stone
 On the ground in the desert
 Seed and stones spill out

7.
 The wind blows softly,
 The shadow of the dead sleeps.
 I will never stop

8.
 You say to yourself
 "How many kids could this mean?"
 and "what is the word?"

9.
 You've been here all day
 Trying to find a way out
 To make myself known

10.
 We need a big smile,
 We don't need it any more
 I'm an idiot

11.
 Beneath the grasses
 I see blood and wind dripping
 And you are drowning

12.
 A man is just as
 He is with me: in my chest
 His words are of course

13.
 my mind's blank to death
 my life's emptiness filled up
 some of the time, too

14.
 There's blood all over
 the bed, like a pool of blood
 She just runs away

15.
 Walking down the street
 Walking on a wall of noise
 The airwaves are still

16.
 I was a virgin
 I had sex with the devil
 It wasn't easy

17.
 It makes you cry more
 I don't feel like a person
 But it means I feel

18.
 The snow is always
 so cold, I'm not expecting
 something different

19.
 A little rain falls
 But in time I'm rewarded
 I'll show you my rose

20.
 I never liked you
 I love you, but still I just
 need money to fuck

21.
 you make me happy
 you make me laugh at myself
 my tits melt away

22.
 I'll make you drink me
 I'll show you why you need strength
 I'll do it again

23.
 the world and people
 dare to talk to each other
 I need to be friends

24.
 Gathering the winds
 Crying out the rain for you
 and then the wind blows


There are a few interesting ones in there that I couldn't bring myself to omit; this site if anywhere is the place to put them. I'm numbering them left-to-right, top-to-bottom (so poem 2 is the one that starts with "the old days are great") in the commentary below.

#1: Nice imagery, think they're hurting/choking themself. The hands on fire is symbolism for the difficulty.
#2: Can't enjoy/experience new days. Comes off as depression since it's not edgy enough to be suicide.
#3: Hypothermia can make you feel warm when severe, so line 2 is accurate. And then there's the other interpretation.
#4: Included for literary repetation with I, I. It's a good style.
#5: Double meaning based on paying attention to line breaks vs. not.
#6: Imagery and life. People seed farms and build stone structures, so could be civilization.
#7: If the shadow of the dead is death, and if it's sleeping...
#8: Order 66
#9: This 'mistake' of going from 3rd to 1st person reveals the author is talking to themself. New meanings just by tense switching.
#10: Anybody working in retail or fast food, especially salespeople.
#11: Sucks to be drowning in blood
#12: Double meaning
#13: Nice imagery! The way ", too" is casually appended makes this so apathetic. Really lends personality.
#14: Well it could be a murder, but it could also be something that occurs every month.
#15: The street is noisy, but nobody's talking. Reminds me of the Sound of Silence by S&G. There's also a boring interpretation.
#16: Just for its "what the heck" factor.
#17: Nicely worded explanation for one kind of bully
#18: Snow could be a lot of things here, but generally relationship
#19: Difficulty upfront, payoff at the end. Author is going through a difficult time but also learning
#20: It's a haiku about being a hooker. What more could you ask for?
#21: Ah yes, that happens a lot, doesn't it.
#22: Not even going to elaborate on this, to save the kids. As if they aren't effed up enough to understand it wholly anyway.
#23: Nature and people just need to get along, and the author's on board. :)
#24: Big sobby break-up, but nice imagery. Let it stand for the many break-up ones I skipped over.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Might be easier to follow the commentary if you added numbers to the image, but I'm glad someone is appreciating Larimar. Every once in awhile I go browsing back through the older ones, I try to check his profile every day but sometimes I miss one since he updates at a weird time. The best are when you get a few days in a row that actually seem to relate to each other.
I was a virgin I had sex with the devil It wasn't easy
That's a classic.
Painted from black stone On the ground in the desert Seed and stones spill out
But I remember this one actually being a favorite as one of those 'whoa cool, actual poetry' kind of ways. Just something about the strange imagery stuck with me. Today's is pretty meh however. It happens. The link to the archive is in his profile though, I'd recommend anyone checking it out, if only because the page design is very stylish and cool if nothing else.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Oh and I see Anthony forgot Lar's most thought provoking work yet:
Unicorn Tree Socks Circling in Autumn Leaves A perfect winter
Now some of you might not "get" it, but it's sooo deep and rewarding for people who know how to think.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago

Drats; how did I forget that one!
And it's such a great political commentary, too.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Pressed down by hate
The weight to tough to break
This is my dreadful fate

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
4-6-6, really?

That's like the kind of haiku a malformed embryo would make.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
But still impressive for a "malformed embryo."

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Not really, no.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
How about you make a new creative corner thread and post 1000 words of a dark fantasy story. Let's see if it's worth humoring your constant attempts to infiltrate the contest or if you're just here to spam accounts and be worthless.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Right now, I'm experimenting with the story game creator, to see how it works and functions. I'll have a brief section of the story done either at 24 or 25. So do not worry my staunch lady, I will have created a masterpiece full of errors and inconsistency, or just not do it at all and keep making alts. We'll see...

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
How's that experimentation with the storygame creator going?

You know for most people, that would involve creating a storygame at some point.

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
Is that so...

Lar's poetry

4 months ago
He's imaginging what it will be like in order to become mentally prepared.

Lar's poetry

3 months ago

Lar's Short Stories

3 months ago
May I introduce another function of our beloved dragon, the short stories:

I shall present 3 prompts and replies.

Prompt 1:

In the snow outside, a tree becomes suddenly mobile and leaves the path. The path is...

Reply:

In the snow outside, a tree becomes suddenly mobile and leaves the path. The path is full of snow and ice. The tree knows that it needs to become mobile. It reaches up and touches the frozen ground.

There are no obstacles in the tree. The tree and the snow become one.

The tree moves into a new position. It is alive. It's not. The snow and the tree move together. The tree and the snow become one.

The tree becomes aware. It is aware of the potential that it holds and the power it has.

It moves towards the path. The path is full of snow and ice. The tree knows that it needs to become mobile. It reaches up and touches the frozen ground.There are no obstacles in the tree. The tree and the snow become one.The tree moves into a new position. It is alive. It's not. The snow and the tree move together. The tree and the snow become one.The tree becomes aware. It is aware of the potential that it holds and the power it has.It moves towards the path. The path is full of snow and ice. The tree knows that it needs to become mobile. It reaches up and touches the frozen ground.There are no obstacles in the tree. The tree and the snow become one.The tree moves into a new position. It is alive. It's not. The tree and the snow become one.The tree becomes aware. It is aware of the potential that it holds and the power it has.It moves towards

Comment: That was great until it repeated - mizal

Lar's Short Stories

3 months ago
Prompt 2:

Funny that the Keepers selected you, for you were neither the brightest or strongest of your group. Still, they took you to the transformation room, and...

Reply:

Funny that the Keepers selected you, for you were neither the brightest or strongest of your group. Still, they took you to the transformation room, and they treated you like a god. If the others wouldn't have taken you, they wouldn't have given you the choice to join them.

What they didn't know is that you would stay in the Keepers' mansion.

It was not your destiny, but they had a hard time keeping you inside of their home. The Keepers spent a lot of time on missions with the Order, and they were always very careful to leave you alone.

So, you came in.

You are an odd one. The Keepers are a wealthy, but sometimes troubled, tribe, and they tend to feel strange about other tribes, and for some reason, you fit in.

The Keepers usually leave you alone, and when they do leave you alone, you hear a voice.

It's that voice that calls you back. The voice that wants you to make a change.

You always have, and you just never make it.

Lar's Short Stories

3 months ago
The tree becomes aware. It is aware of the potential that it holds and the power it has.


These were the lines I specifically liked, I'm saving them for some future prompt.

Lar's Short Stories

3 months ago
http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/creative-corner/message/26685#849881 - Thought this was a pretty good one he generated for a prompt thread I didn't want to participate in.