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  It was only little teensy bit back that I got to experience my first concert, and it was very pinky-purpley. I think it was a pretty great time, even with all the vaping millennials hangin' about.

  "Do you like the 1975?" Asked a dear friend of mine, money in hand and finger hovering dangerously over the enter button.

  "Uh...Yeah, they're great," I answered, trying to remember what the 1975 was.

  And so the tickets were ordered.

  It was right after an insane night of dancing at some gay prom ("I don't wanna do this," I had screamed, hanging onto that ceiling handle thingy in the car as we swerved wildly to some Ed Sheeran song about a guy bleaching his butt or something. "I'm not even gay. Everyone is gonna be making out and it'll be like middle-school again, why would anyone do this.") and at least 3 hours of aimless character customization on Sims 4. We were tired. We were young. We were waiting 8 hours on cold concrete in the middle of Seattle with a coloring book themed round "Daily Annoyances" and a pack of mini washable markers. We were ready.

  Lemme tell you folks: Waiting wasn't so bad. I liked doodling and talking to people, like this one dentist lady from Oregon who thought saxophones were sexy, or that on guy who was very pretty and was weaving flowers in into his shoe laces. Nobody was smoking weed or shooting each other. We shared donuts. The only scary thing that happened was the dress code. Like, I was in a sea of Tumblr aesthetic bloggers with varying degrees of music-video inspired accessories. Every girl was wearing mom jeans and some shade of mustard yellow, while every boy was straight out of a Troye Sivan photo shoot. It was terrifying. Also, Mob Mentality is terrifying. We were like a herd of lemmings, albeit more matte lipstick.

^^Portrait of everyone attending the concert, very accurate.

 

  I'm going to skip over the herding and stampeding to the entrance part, you've seen movies.

  SO WE FINALLY GET THERE: A moody darkness, a glow-in-the-dark off-limits bar, fog machines... It was killing me. I was anxious. I wanted to see what we had come there for, and the FOG MACHINES WERE SETTING ME OFF, AAAAAAAAAUGH. I think that somewheres, up theres, God heard me, forgave me for previously attending a homosexual dance event, and sent out the opening act. 

  The openers were some really hot-dang good Brit guys called Colouring ("Ehts wit a' 'U', ehkay?"). The main vocalist was powerful and fantastic. The second openers were not so good, as they featured some edgey Hot Topic inspired cat-eyed girls and one very nice bassist with a very, very nice striped sweater. Here's a visual:

^^Artist's Googled rendition of Sweater Bassist, if found, please return to nearest edgey 80' band.

 

  Anyways, it was all fine and dandy but also hot and sweaty. We were trying to get to the front so we could, and I quote: "Kidnap Matty Healy and his amazing, good hot jewfro because I'm low on vitamin jewfro" (Not my words, promise). It was a bad idea. Everybody was heating the crap outta everybody else, and it was hard to enjoy the music/breath. I think I was stepping on some guys feet, I caught sight of some girl's NarutoxSasuke IPhone wallpaper.

  Happily, the trio of guys behind us were really cool and joined in on our "I can't wait to see Ed Sheeran" incorrectness shenanigans. We had leave 'cos we were dying, though. I felt bad for the short Mexican guy. He was so short.

  Right around when I had to pee, the fog machines REEEAAALLY started pumping. The lights went reeeeeeeeal low. Everybody screamed. I decided to hold it.

  Things to know about seeing the 1975/any millennial semi-hipster 80's inspired band (why is it called 1975 if the music is 80's inspired?) live:

•   Matty Healy will most likely smoke/drink on stage. It's an aesthetic thing, I'm sure, but it wont stop me from liking it. He downed maybe half a bottle by the end of the concert.
•   The person with the best hair will be the only one anybody knows the name of.
•   Somebody will cry inexplicably. 
•   SAXAPHONE.
•   Somebody will vape, but they will be hidden by the ominous fog machines.
•   Everybody will slow dance at one point, even if nobody knows how to slow dance. It will be glorious, it will be beautiful. It will be sweaty.

  At one point, Matty Healy told us all to put down our phones 'cos we'd remember it better, but I had a stupid dinky flip phone so I didn't need to worry about it. That thing has terrible sound quality! Zero stars!

  Around the end, he said something like this:

  "Do you ever think, 'What is God?' Is it just a word people use for their own litigations? What is that? Oh? You love me? You love me? Why, thank you. That doesn't help my existential crisis, but I love you too. You people that have a religion... Good for you. I'm real fucking envious of that, you know? This is a song about not knowing wha the fuck is going on."

 And he proceeded to sing sadly about lesbian lips or something. I danced very hard and got some people to dance with me. It's very easy to get swept up in concerts.

^^Realistic portrayal of me dancing and friend screaming.

 

  In the end everybody was gay and tired and needed to pee at the same time. I waited with my friend in the car for the traffic to die out and we watched some homeless guy angrily sort out recycling. It was a blast. He was so angry, but he did a very good job.

 

  I'd say the concert was a success. To be honest, I'm still not a major-mega fan of the 1975, but I think they are pretty cool and at least Matty Healy seems a little real. My favorite songs were the instrumentals that sounded like stars and breaking glass. I was also really impressed with the fact that they sound exactly as they do on the CD. Whoa!

  So, there ya have it. My first time at a concert. I'm sure you people have been outside at one point in time, so...uh..What about your concert experiences? Yup, you guys now.

I'm too tired/very mildly drunk to make a real response but this was pleasant and amusing to read.

Puddlebunni now looks like the girl/guy in the top picture she posted.

Use your admin powers to change their avatar.

I would never use my admin powers for evil purposes.

I'm confused now because these kinds of statements are usually combined with you doing exactly that, but everything seems the same.

Puddlebunni is someone's lesbian aunt

That's...That's untrue! I just googled furiously. I look more like Connie from Steven U, but no glasses.

But it was really scary to see everyone look the same. It was like a hive mind thingy from hipster space.

Jesus christ, I thought that was Harry Potter in the photo. He has the glasses. Maybe those flowers are his offering to the funeral of his parents years after they were killed by Voldemort, mistakenly taken along to the music concert he never attended.

I sympathise with you about being trapped in a sea of Tumblr aesthetic bloggers. It is a terrifying concept, and one which probably just exacerbated the mob mentality which took control of the people around you. I enjoyed this post of yours, even though you made me cringe at the mere mention of NarutoxSasuke. It all surrounded very surreal.

Oh yes, you asked about other people's concert experiences and nobody has actually said anything about that yet. Most of my first concerts were not open-air at all. In fact, I hesitate to call them concerts because they were really just some half-rate band that turned up at my uni to do a Rock Night and promote themselves a little. They would perform in this tiny room at a ridiculous volume, to the point that nobody could tell what the hell they were saying. We just stood around listening to them play, occasionally jumping up and down and screaming because we couldn't hear ourselves, but usually just drinking and feeling very bored.

Oh, and this goes without saying, but all of those bands were absolutely shit. It was free of charge, though, aside from the drinks, so I would just hang around and hope that the next band who came on would have a better song. They never did. Some of them hit the wrong notes on their guitars. I stuck around to see one of my friends play in his band, and couldn't hear a word they were saying either because the bass was turned up way too high. They sucked. They all sucked. 

They still had an audience, of course. I don't know where they found this audience of people, but they must have found them from somewhere, possibly in Essex.

This was quite something...

Tumblr aesthetics? You mean they had eliptical eyebrows and quadrilateral noses and everything? Well shit.

My first concert experience was in some sandy-ass part of Wisconsin. Yeah, I don't even know. It might've been on the outskirts of an old quarry, the ground was gravelly and sandy as fuck. The band was the Paper Airplanes on Fire, and they weren't very memorable, but they seemed to be really seriously banking on the whole rockstar vibe, utterly taking for granted the fact that they would get some just because they were a rock band. Over and over, they'd hit on chicks in the crowd. Some would even get multiple compliments, because out of the 40 or so people that were there, maybe 15 were female, 3 of them were moms, and 2 of them seemed to be employees.

Everyone seemed very drunk, and very 30-something. Some guy got his ass rocked by bouncers because he wouldn't stop throwing paper airplanes that he lit on fire. I probably still have the airplane he gave me that day. I never lit it on fire, because there was grass covered in gravelsand, probably dried out, with a plywood stage and fat people full of alcohol around it, which is a recipe for combustion if you're retarded enough to keep throwing flaming airplanes around jesus fuck.