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The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

7 months ago

Well I've decided to give the Order story a go except it's going to be less a story about the Orders, and more a story about the "kingdom" as a whole.

Well anyway, here is the first bit of writing I have drafted for it. Let me know what y'all think about it. 

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Brilliant and white, the spire-like towers of the Arena glimmer like a beacon to the world. They stand as four corners, and mark the boundaries of the main attraction of The Kingdom of Cystia. Connecting each of the towers are white stone walls nearly as tall as the towers themselves. The magnificent building reminds you of a prison, and were it not white on the outside, the design would really make the building look quite dreary. The Founder, and first king, of Cystia managed to use the color and exterior design in such a way as to propel outsiders into the Kingdom of Cystia, if only to see what was inside this odd structure. Now, many years later, the Banishing King and his sovereigns finally made what was inside the building open to those outside The Kingdom of Cystia. You were one of the first to open a seeing stone, and tune into the nightly showing of of what the Banishing King dubbed The Arena.

While the outside of this arena is a picture of purity and innocence, the inside is the complete opposite. The white interior is stained with blood, and when fresh gives the interior a red hue. As the blood dries and seeps into the walls, it becomes black permanently changing the white that used to be there. 

You nearly shut off your seeing stone in disgust, but a sense of morbid curiosity overcame you. You watched as figures were let into the Arena, and continued to watch as those same figures were cut down. These figures ranged anywhere from cyborgs and mutants, to wizards and humanoid rats. Variety was everywhere, and each and every night those various figures fought to the death in the Arena. The first night you were skeptical, but then one of these figures distinguished himself from the rest of the crowd.

Tonight, that same figure stands alone in the center of the arena. A black cloak is draped around his shoulders, and he wears fitted black leather armor. A single sword is strapped to his waist. One that he now pulls from its sheath. The sword is of the finest make and shimmers with power above many other things you've seen in your life. The figure himself gives off even more power, and shadows seem to form around him as he stands still. Silence echoes around the Arena, and anticipation fills every facet of the audience at the Arena. 

A disembodied voice pierces the silence. "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...the rivalry between the Hammer enthusiast, Sovereign Berk, and The Scythe wielding Necromancer, Sovereign Ragnar continues! Representing Sovereign Ragnar is the golem you all see in the arena now. Perhaps the Sovereign's most carefully crafted and successful creation, this golem has been dubbed The Eternal, for it has never been destroyed in battle. It was made with utmost care, and wields a sword crafted by The Rose herself! 

"I'm sure you all are wondering what golem could have the slightest chance at defeating The Eternal, and tonight we have a special treat for you. The undefeated Champion of the Arena, Sovereign Berk's Undead Horde!" The voice stops its explanation as a chorus of feral growls and grunts fill the stadium. "Yes, there it is audience. His horde hasn't had a great competition in quite a while, and as you can all hear...they're very hungry." 

The disembodied voice continues to speak, but the words don't seem to reach your ears. You try your hardest to listen, but your head starts hurting. The harder you try to hear what the announcer is saying, the more your head hurts. It gets to the point where the blinding pain is so over powering that you lose focus entirely...

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

7 months ago

This is pretty good, a nice start. I can tell because it left me wanting to read more >.>

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

7 months ago

So far this is very fascinating. 

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

7 months ago

So I posted the first half of the first page, but it didn’t sit well with me to leave it there, so here’s the rest of the page.

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It gets to the point where the blinding pain is so over powering that you lose focus entirely. Your seeing stone goes blank and the image of The Eternal in the arena disappears. 

"No, no, no." You mutter to yourself frantically. This was the most anticipated fight of the year, yet it had barely begun before you ran out of magic power. It normally didn't take this much energy to tune into the Arena, so you figure the amount of people watching drained your power at really fast rate. 

You try to summon up any remaining power you have, but the exertion exceeds all pain you've ever felt before. Dreams crushed, and hopes withering away, you sit on your dilapidated wooden chair and stare blankly at the empty seeing stone. The chair groans under your weight, which is normal, then one of the legs of the chair snaps in half and you go tumbling to the floor, which is not normal. You lie among the broken pieces of your favorite chair (and try not to think about how it's your only chair) and decide to re-examine your life.

You gaze around the one room house you live in. Everything is in disrepair. The wooden walls are rotting and the smell of spoiled tomatoes fills the air. You get those from the farm nearby, and if they didn't allow you to take some every now and then, you think you would've starved to death. Speaking of death, the death of your last chair means that your small cabin officially has no furniture. You used to have more, but you sold pretty much everything you had for that seeing stone. You gaze at that seeing stone and wonder how you ended up in this situation. Addicted to watching golems tear one another apart in an arena full of stained walls. Looking objectively at your life, you can see that it's really bad, but, even now, you aren't sure you care. Even among the putrid smell of the turned tomato and tattered pieces of wood your only desire is to watch the Arena and it's victims. 

Then suddenly, you have an epiphany. It's their fault. Yes, them. It's your horrible roommates' fault. You all pitched in to buy the seeing stone, but you and your two roommates were only able to enjoy it for a little bit before getting addicted to it. It hit Ryder the hardest. The addiction to the Arena was too much for him, and soon he left to go join the Kingdom of Cystia himself. Kain was the next to go. Somewhere in between the fevered watching you remember him saying that he should go check on Ryder, but you knew better. You saw the look in his eyes before he left. Kain was just as addicted as Ryder was. You blame them for getting you fascinated with Cystia, and so resolve to do two things in the morning. 

One: You decide to join the Kingdom of Cystia and become a citizen therein.

Two:When you're there, you decide to pay Kain and Ryder back for getting you addicted, and then for ditching you to fend for yourself. 

You smell the air, and realize that it wasn't actually the tomatoes making that horrible smell. It was you. You should probably take a shower.

Make that three.

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

7 months ago

Cool, I really like it so far! Nice use of adjectives and references!

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

6 months ago

A month ago I started this, but the December Contest stole my attention. Thus, this thread and the ideas it held within were left in the dust of forgotten ideas. With the contest now, essentially, over I’ve turned my eyes back to what I was doing in the before. I barely had any pages to begin with, but ideas were aplenty and I’d already planned out a large portion of the story already, so I figured I’d start this back up. It helps that I now have loads of new material to implement.

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The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

6 months ago

Good luck with this storygame of yours.

I'm sure things should go swimmingly for you with the surplus of material and comedy that is available.

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

6 months ago

Thanks for the luck. I'll need it if I'm going to continue writing this at a half decent pace...

I'm especially excited for End's nearly catch all invite to the Lair, and the purge that will ensue thereof.

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

6 months ago
You should make your character survive the initial purge by creeping around silently for weeks disguised as a houseplant, thus making you a shoe-in for master spy when finally discovered.

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

6 months ago

That sounds like a brilliant idea, although, I will likely give the MC a chance to be the spy for the story's sake. 

The Kingdom of Cystia- Motivation Thread

6 months ago

See and everyone thought I was just trolling for the lulz when I did that. Turned out to be one of the best things for the place.

There's always a reason and plan for everything even if it isn't readily apparent.