Azula and Zuko
Commended by mizal on 12/26/2018 7:20:49 PM
, #13 for
played 3,620 times (finished 132)
"trek through the forest"
"Not going to lose any sleep"
"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.
This is a contest entry for End Master's Fanfiction contest.
This is an
Avatar: the Last Airbender
fanfiction that focuses on Azula's life and her relationship with Zuko.
SPOILERS AHEAD .....
I really enjoyed this! As a big fan of Avatar: the Last Airbender I think this was a really great interpretation of Azula's story.
She was always my favorite character and I think you really got to the heart of her motivation and why she desired power so much. Juxtaposing the way Ursa treated her to the way Ozai treated her really did a lot to build up the idea that she and Zuko aren't so different, so someone that like Zuko could transfer that affection to her. She's a really great flawed character and this game explores that really well!
The scene where Katara and Zuko put her in the chains was wonderfully executed. I love that we got to see her perspective in feeling out of control and like a monster. That was so important to the scene in the show and you really captured it well.
Perhaps my overall favorite part was the scene in 8 (I think) where the other girls are talking about Ozai not being on the battlefield and Azula's fire is unconsciously summoned. Her statement of 'I should have more control than that' sums up her whole bag really effectively. I will definitely be thinking about that scene later!
I also like that you used "Zuzu" through the whole story to really drive home that in her own way Azula still loves her brother through it all.
Overall I really enjoyed this game! With the show dropping on Netflix I was already planning on rewatching it but now I will have to keep this game in mind when I do! I was not expecting the end to be so abrupt and definitely could have read another hundred words or so.
on 5/24/2020 2:30:55 PM with a score of 0
Never having seen the Avatar series, I felt at first like I was at a loss. However, this story is well written enough that I didn't need that background information. This wasn't a story about the Avatar universe at its core but a story of a sister who cared for her brother above all else.
The transitions between time skips could have been done a little smoother. I understand that each chapter would represent the end of that period, but it made for a slightly more disjointed experience.
It is also notable that the sidekick characters Mai and Ty could have been developed slightly more. Their personalities were touched upon briefly at first and I wonder if some more time could have been spent developing their relationships with both Azula and Zuko. Especially considering Mai ends up engaged to him, it would have been nice to see how their motivations factored in.
There is a lot that is alluded to in the story that doesn't explicitly take place or isn't rightly true. Azula's assertion that she was the only one that could or would get him out of the Fire Nation was strictly false. I could understand if you asserted that this was part of her delusion, but I didn't get delusional out of her. She may have been unhinged and murderous due to various factors, but she always seemed to be able to grasp the facts and point blank, even when others denied them.
It would also have been nice to delve a little more into her relationship with her mother. Because as the player, it's hard to empathize with her point of view. We don't see enough rejection and enough effort from Azula. We don't know if her mother tried and Azula was just too broken to notice or if the mother was genuinely terrible.
Ultimately, the story has a really hard time making me care for Zuko. Half the story Zuko is Azula's rival for motherly affection and we're guided to resent him just for existing. We bully him and undermine him at any chance (without hurting him physically). That relationship pushes Azula into the "do anything to survive" mode. Then when Zuko is condemned to death, we're expected to jive with this sudden sentimentality and desire to save him and protect him? It seems like that flip isn't well transitioned into. The only way I could justify it in the headcanon was out of some sick "Only I can torture my brother." I get the idea was to give Azula nuance and in some ways that succeeded with flying colors. In other ways, it still needed work. Azula needed to be shown as being capable of mercy and sibling love before I could really get behind her showing mercy and love for her brother.
Still great story and damn well done!
on 12/31/2018 4:53:48 PM with a score of 0
I was going to start off by stating how weird (or lazy!) it was to name your links “1,2,3,etc” but then I realized it was the age Azula was in each page. I do think it was rather weird (or lazy!) to suddenly revert to being a one year old without any warning or titling a page to warn the reader. It was very refreshing to play a storygame in third person, although I think that ended up limiting the player in their choices. Instead of putting you as the main character with various paths, you’re taken on a journey through Azula’s childhood.
I really enjoyed playing this because I had invested hours watching Avatar (multiple times too!). I found it deeply entertaining to see events happen in Azula and Zuko’s childhood that molded them into the characters on screen. I get the feeling if I had never watched Avatar, I would be incredibly lost and disinterested in the story, which is sort of a fine line to ride in fan-fic and I’m uncertain where I lie on the issue. The story is obviously directed towards Avatar fans so perhaps there is no need to address someone who hasn’t seen it... why would they click on an Avatar fan-fic if they hadn’t seen the show? If I’m taking this from an absolute literary position, I’d have to rate lower for not including a lore page with explanation on the different nations, state of the world, or bending.
I kind of went back and forth on the realism of Azula’s childhood... shooting fire from fists and murdering birds are obviously universal things for children, but more specifically, if her speech fit her current age. For the most part, the dialogue fit her age. Referring to her mother as “Mommy” and Zuko as “Zuzu” or “Dum-dum” were in line with her age. Azula’s decision-making wasn’t always the best, which matches the thought-process of a child. That was clearly seen in her idea to kill the bird and blame it on Zuko. Some of the inner dialogue seemed a bit too advanced for her age. Specifically on page 2 and 3, Azula seemed to have capabilities way past her age... like fire bending at age two? Can two year olds even walk? No seriously, I don’t know anything about babies.
Some things that stuck out to me:
-Good contrast between Azula’s father and mother. The differences in values between her parents seemed like a big factor in her torn nature aka psycho-killer-bitch syndrome.
-I don’t remember Prince Zuko being a bumbling idiot growing up. I could be wrong, but I remember him being dutiful and caring about the fire nation people. I haven’t seen the show in a while, but wasn’t the reason he got burned because he wanted to protect fire nation lives?
-Favorite part in the entire storygame. Azula to Mai:
“How much do you practice?”
“Whenever I’m bored.”
-“With the utmost precision and flexibility, thanks to lessons from Mai and Ty Lee, she kicked the back of one girl’s head. As she crumples, she kicks the other one as well. You can’t do that in a skirt, Mother”. I’ve never worn a skirt, but I assume it’d be easier to kick someone in the head wearing one. Less resistance, right? Unless you’re wearing a tight, bootylicious Nicki Minaj skirt that is.
I think this was a great fan-fic. The scenes were described well and the characters (except possibly Zuko) were in line with their TV selves. Storygame-wise there weren’t many options, but the high quality of writing and background into the characters overshadowed the lack of “game”.
on 12/27/2018 3:45:37 PM with a score of 0
you wrote way to much plus why not write anything about avatar Aang I mean why prince azula and princess zuko ( yes the "mess up" was intentional ) but I guess azula is allright.
-- poop on 9/8/2020 1:59:57 PM with a score of 0
It was amazing
-- Brodi on 6/4/2020 4:31:21 PM with a score of 0
I shamelessly took every pro-Zuko option and my heart is meltiiing
on 5/24/2020 11:27:53 PM with a score of 0
An interesting take on the character! The format had a lot of timeskips and it might have been nice to break up the later years into more content, but I understand why you wouldn't also. It seemed a little linear but it's hard to escape that with fan fiction sometimes.
on 12/11/2019 10:15:46 PM with a score of 0
You managed to take a character I strongly disliked throughout the entire Avatar series (perhaps she becomes more relatable later on - I never finished all of season 3) and make her into someone I could highly sympathize with. I think the characterization you gave to Azula was more in-depth than the characterization the show itself gave to her.
Overall, I thought this was really well-written. I liked how you included some speech mannerisms that were relevant to the age of Azula, and how you reflected her love for her brother above all. I also liked how you captured her perfectionism, drive, and desire for her mother's affection. I was a bit confused by one of the endings, where SPOILER ALERT: Azula's mental age seems to regress to that of a toddler?
One thing I might do to improve is to add a wider diversity of choices, and perhaps a few more endings for the player to reach.
on 11/17/2019 9:26:52 PM with a score of 0
A lot a grammatical errors and misspellings not a very good story-line 4/8
on 8/26/2019 9:11:31 AM with a score of 0
what the heck the ending :((((
on 8/8/2019 10:46:17 AM with a score of 0
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