Death Becomes You
, #38 for
played 1,401 times (finished 139)
"walk in the park"
"A nice jog down the driveway"
"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.
You're Dead! Congratulations. Click your way through. Find out why you.
The spelling grammar needs work, as I noticed multiple errors in punctuation, and spelling. Remember not to rush storygames, and spend plenty of time proofreading to make sure mistakes like this aren't present.
The concept really was good, but i'm not sure it was executed very well. The plot had incredible potential, but the writing that captures the story was rather disappointing.
Descriptions were quite vague, and the storygame itself felt rushed because of the short length, little detail on most pages, and linear setting.
The writing itself wasn't exactly bad, it just needed a little polish. You need more character development and detail to make a storygame work, especially with a plot as vague and open ended as this one.
I'll say 3/8, it needs a lot of work, but it's a great concept and the writing was average.
on 5/13/2017 3:53:16 PM
It is a really good story
on 9/15/2017 10:32:14 AM
Wow, neat idea. Really liked it.
on 1/18/2017 1:52:01 PM
The concept and was rather nice, but there were a few issues. The grammar mistakes were a little distracting, and the details were sparse. There's also the fact that if you choose to talk the first time but then stay silent, the story acts as though you've chosen to stay silent twice.
on 1/11/2017 10:13:46 PM
I enjoyed it, though it might be better if it were a bit longer.
on 12/14/2016 8:43:45 PM
Yay I cleaned up my act!
on 11/21/2016 2:49:06 PM
I liked your game but I'd like it if it was longer.
-- Macenzie on 11/4/2016 9:18:51 PM
This was an iteresting idea but I was very short
on 10/21/2016 12:35:41 PM
I liked the idea of the story, but the reincarnation part could've been a little more... Subtle or... Different?
on 6/29/2016 4:09:32 PM
It was short and a bit dry if it carried through the lunch and a little after it probably would have been better.
on 5/26/2016 10:15:39 PM
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