Hive Mind

Player Rating3.69/8

"#534 overall, #48 for 2012"
based on 131 ratings since 05/23/2012
played 2,916 times (finished 153)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

An ancient tomb is opened by unsuspecting grave robbers, unleashing the wrath of the ancient pharaohs, causing a monster to rise, controlling all creatures in the world with a HIVE MIND.

This is a rather short game, and is here mostly as a first attempt as a game.

There is an Evil ending, a few bad endings, multiple Neutral endings, and a good ending.

Player Comments

I really like how you started off the beginning with throwing the reader into a deadly scene that has already been developed, letting the story take off from there. It's very nice and gives an intense feel to the storygame.
The description of the situation is great as well,
so that's impressive for your first storygame (I think this is your first?)

I just wish that everything wasn't decided for us. Some situations could have been handles by the reader in a smarter way that what our character did on their own. The storygame ends very quickly as well, so the linearity of this really irks me.

I'm guessing that you got tired of writing this and decided to put a quick end to it, which isn't very smart. You had a very nice storygame going here, and it's sad that it was wasted in such a way. My rating will definitely increase if this is finished some time in the future. :)

-- Nyctophilia on 3/1/2017 7:44:04 PM with a score of 0
Hmm, that was rather interesting? There was certainly a interesting premise, with all of the animals suddenly becoming hostile and attacking every human in sight. But ultimately it's never truly explained why that is the case in any of the endings that are possible to achieve, and that's quite a shame.

There's certainly something here, but it's unfortunately bogged down by lack of detail or explanations for the reader. The writing isn't bad, but the endings to each path seems to come rather arubtly, giving somewhat of a disjointed feeling to the storygame as a whole.

Also, some of the neutral endings aren't exactly neutral. They could be considered 'good' but that's really only a minor nitpick in the grand scheme of this comment.

There's potential in this, but some things are just left as a mystery and I couldn't help but feel that the story itself was rather incoherent in a way in it's presentation.

Some of the sentences were rather odd as well, this one especially in particular-"All people armed fire at the creatures, but the mass of them survives in whole."

While nothing is spelled incorrectly, it just doesn't come off of the tongue very well when read out loud. There are a few other sentences like that in the story that could be rather 'odd' in a way as well.

This story really wasn't bad, I actually enjoyed it for what it was. I just can't help but feel that certain things could of been improved on to make this an even better read.
-- TharaApples on 1/15/2017 8:48:36 PM with a score of 0
good story i love it
-- Cameron Campbell on 4/15/2019 12:26:01 PM with a score of 0
-- Hi on 6/26/2018 3:26:18 PM with a score of 0
Good ending. I liked it.
-- JeromeHatik on 8/19/2017 9:36:30 AM with a score of 0
Awesome game!
-- venyanwarrior on 10/14/2016 4:51:29 PM with a score of 0
found all the endings! good story!
-- cupcakegal on 8/4/2016 5:42:22 PM with a score of 0
that was really short but was good. you should work on it and make it longer.
-- annaisawesome on 7/14/2016 11:52:06 AM with a score of 0
Well it was too short. Interesting concept.
-- crusader on 6/27/2016 3:02:00 PM with a score of 0
Extremely short, but there are some good elements that show your potential.
-- laxrose on 5/7/2016 12:02:25 AM with a score of 0
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