Lilly of the Forest
Commended by BerkaZerka on 9/21/2019 8:58:54 AM
, #3 for
played 3,063 times (finished 357)
"no possible way to lose"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.
Part of Series
Can you guide Lilly as she faces her forest adventure? See if your child can get the fairy dust! A *very* simple story suitable for a four- to five-year-old. Created for my granddaughter Samantha who is visiting this weekend. There's only a couple variables. There's no scoring in the story. I decided to publish it so parents of young children might be inspired to create their own simple stories. Rating this will make no sense unless you reach the best solution and then rate it in terms of standards for a young child. Worked wonderfully. Just the right length. But I did discover something important. At four, the best story has only two choices. So I need to go back and make a few changes. Three alternatives are too many for a child her age to process. Two is best. It will not need too many changes. But I'm happy that she sailed right through to get the fairy dust without any direction on my part.
I like the idea for this story. I think that is a really targeted audience for the story, but that’s fine. I’m just not sure how many others of that age that are going to find this story or even this web site, but hopefully some will, because that would be nice. I can appreciate the limited number of options as well because as you point out; too many options might make it too confusing for the target audience.
The options themselves were interesting because there really was a path through the story where you don’t do anything, don’t really see anything, and just go home. I’m not sure what that would say about your reader who selected that path. I mean, I can kind of see why it’s there, but that path leads to, well, a story where nothing happens, and what’s the point of a story where nothing happens, even if the story is for very young children?
Overall, this is a nice story considering the target audience for the story. I also like how actions earlier in the story can affect the story later on (hi, mama bear!). Thank you for sharing the story with the site.
on 7/2/2018 12:36:25 PM with a score of 0
For a young child, I think it's a very good game. It has a storybook-like atmosphere to it, and the vocabulary is well-chosen. For a four~five year old, there maybe are a few words they don't know, but that would make this game an even better learning experience. Nice job!
on 12/2/2016 2:29:54 PM with a score of 0
For a game created for a four- to five- year old, it was great. The correct choices all reflect morals of altruism, determination, perseverance, etc. Perhaps because this site has already conditioned me to expect 'continue or die' choices, I was constantly paranoid that something horrible was about to happen to the main character, but that ultimately proved not to be the case, haha. It was well-written with good grammar and spelling, and at a level that I think toddlers can easily understand what is going on. Pictures would have vastly improved the experience.
Outside of the context of a game for a toddler, however, I found it cute but ultimately without any sort of suspense (not counting my own overly paranoid brain). The descriptions were quite skimpy, and some of the choices such as 'keep climbing' were a little repetitive and felt a bit tedious. It didn't really bother me much and I felt that it was worth playing through at least once, but I probably won't be replaying this.
All in all, good job. I'd love to see you make a game targeted at an older audience, because you seem to have an excellent grasp of literacy and a knack for building up a great atmosphere for your story.
on 7/16/2014 8:47:34 PM with a score of 0
I get that you were trying to make something for a little kid, but other than your granddaughter, I don't think that any other 4-5 year olds will find it here. But other than the fact that this is on a pretty much all adult website, the story was good, and this would definitely be a fun story for younger kids. It was almost like a fairytale, and was just the right amount of words and the right level of vocabulary for a little kid. Good job, this is better than most of the other stories this length on this site.
on 2/10/2021 11:39:55 AM with a score of 0
I am always looking for stories for my young ESL students. This was one that I can recommend.
on 11/20/2020 3:17:34 PM with a score of 0
i wanted her to not run and become friends with the wolf anyways it was a good story.
-- Naomi c. on 4/3/2020 3:29:29 PM with a score of 0
I like it but it should be more
-- Hamdi on 4/3/2020 11:04:46 AM with a score of 0
it was awesome!
-- morgan on 4/3/2020 10:11:26 AM with a score of 0
-- landon on 4/3/2020 10:01:01 AM with a score of 0
I like that you can pick your own adventure and I like what the options are, but I think there should be more excitement in the story. :)
-- Mia on 4/3/2020 9:32:04 AM with a score of 0
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