Now You Gotta Deal With This S***

Player Rating5.51/8

"#162 overall, #15 for 2016"
based on 128 ratings since 12/15/2016
played 1,071 times (finished 196)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

A tale told in verse. A text from your sister requesting a pick up from a party leads to a night of strangeness.

Inspired by Bucky's ballad contest. Though...I wouldn't call this a ballad. I'm not sure what I'd call it, actually, other than exceedingly stupid, and fun to write.

(Don't pay any attention to the scores, they're just for me to track which endings reviewers get.)

Player Comments

A good deal of the interactive poetry on this site have you making choices that change the poem’s topic—it feels as if you are collaborating in building a poem, but they rarely feel like a traditional storygame, just in verse. This game is the latter—we’ve got a fun, classic IF setup, only with the additional fun of all of the descriptive text in rhyming couplets.

The verse is pretty funny, too, and it’s worth it to read every page for the snarky sense of humor: (“Most of my friends seem to be sick or in pain,” / “But don’t call the cops, we’ve had lots of cocaine.”)

Lots of death lurks around every corner, but the verse bluntly, almost hilariously sarcastically tips you off to where the danger is (Something angry, heavy and large bangs against, / To back slowly away, seems good common sense.) I have never heard Mizal’s real speaking voice before, but at this point, I feel like I know her writing voice, and this is primo Mizal: “Wow. Just Wow. Stupid must be genetic. /
The screams that follow are quite pathetic.” The narrator’s voice is so casual, so *shrug* about the events being narrated—that’s the best part here.

Naturally you have to try all the deaths, if only so you can enjoy the tombstone poetry, crafted for each death.
Whether I sell my soul, gouge out my eyes, walk into a spider’s den (“Wow, great idea!” says the narrator—if this were in prose, the narrator would be annoying, but in verse, it *works* and I laugh every time.)

The other funniest part of this game is my increasing sense that the narrator has complete disdain for her own story, telling you that two characters surely “have backstories compelling” and that this “isn’t Skyrim.”

And you get pie at the end.
-- Gower on 10/5/2019 7:01:42 PM with a score of 0
I don’t even remember reading this one before, but apparently I did since I rated it. Guess it’s time to also comment on it.

Anyway, this is another one of those poetry type stories that I don’t normally like too much. This one however was funny enough to keep my attention. Plus it was for a ballad contest so that was sort of the point in the first place.

The writing itself is fine and the use of colorful description is definitely there. What probably makes this one stand out above other short stories like this was the use of the various tombstone pics. I think this is one of those cases where pics really helped the story since they contributed to the humor.

True this one isn’t the great masterpieces of the site, but its still worth a few playthroughs.
-- EndMaster on 6/24/2018 12:17:40 AM with a score of 5
What a delicious ending. No, uh, the pie... Not the sexy vampire man. Actually, I should say 'both pies', which I guess kind of correspond to the respective strong, independent woman you choose. Nice touch.

Also, this is the first grammatically perfect story I've come across! Thank fuck; I finally have my faith in humanity is restored. Rejoice etc. Then again, the hardened cynic in my is pointing out that this is a 3000 word virgin, but hell, it's in goddamn verse so I'm not expecting Beowulf up in here.

The writing was punchy and funny, especially the tombstones, which I thought were a nice touch to the death scenes. I did feel, however, that every so often there was a line or two that didn't fit the pace of the previous rhyme, but that's me being picky.

Overall, I like how this played with the cliche tropes of classic horror in a wholly silly, modern way.
A strong 6/8.
-- AzBaz on 7/18/2017 11:44:49 AM with a score of 8
That was a fun little game.
-- etrow5 on 7/28/2019 10:13:44 PM with a score of 0
This was a thoroughly enjoyable tale of @uckery, or is it Fuc#erie. Is that an ie or or a ry? There was a great deal of fun shinanigans. I like shinanigans.
-- oraclemache on 5/25/2019 1:42:34 PM with a score of 12
This is a classic teenage horror story put to rhyme. Enjoy the monsters and the cultists and the many ways to die.
-- DerPrussen on 4/5/2019 8:42:22 PM with a score of 0
This made me laugh more than one time. Movie and floozie! Come on!

The verse was pretty good, and it kept in meter while still telling a story. That in itself was impressive. It was cheesy and light and ridiculous. I read it seven times.
-- Gower on 4/5/2019 8:14:04 PM with a score of 8888
I've never given an 8/8 until now. This is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I've ever read. I never thought I'd laugh as hard as I did at a bunch of tombstones. Also, I had a ton of time to kill, so I played for all twelve deaths and both good endscreens, and I'm fairly certain my entire life has just his its apex. This is a literary masterpiece. In RHYME, too. This could be a sick rap song, but could also go well with a serious British accent doing a voiceover on top of a harpsichord. This... is some classic-ass literature.
-- scoople on 6/22/2018 10:30:05 PM with a score of 5
Hahaha pie
-- AurondragonTyr on 5/15/2018 10:14:41 PM with a score of 0
Meh, I liked the peotic verses you had, can be better plots a bit crazy but that's my opinion. I recommend you playing this game to see for yourself.
-- energy on 4/7/2018 2:01:06 PM with a score of 0
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