Out Alive

This is one of the most cliche horror stories I have ever read. The plot was okay, it wasn’t really subversive at all. If you were to build up the suspense, instead of hearing the moan about three pages in, then it would be slightly better. It really wasn’t too immersive for me. The length made it not as good as it could have been.
The pictures you had made no sense, not even the first one where he is going to live in a house so derelict a sneeze would blow it over. Then you show pictures that make it look like the inside of a mine, not an actual house.
The grammar was okay, but you had a lot of mistakes that only a fifth or sixth grader would make. You didn’t use a lot of commas, which represent pauses when reading, so it could make it seem like there is at least a little bit of length.
Overall, a 3/8 (but it has potential).

This story was certainly quite spooky, you did well in creating such a ominous and oppressive atmosphere for the reader as they try their best to brave the horrors that are in this, hoping for survival.

The entire time that I played this, I couldn't help but be reminded of some classic horror stories, especially the cyoa stories that I had played when I was much younger, with the many ways that I found myself meeting my own demise.

All in all, this was a solid horror game amongst the others that are in the horror section. I only have one minor complaint with the minor issues in grammar that I came across, but it didn't ruin my experience with this game by any means.

OK story.

Good:
1. Pictures
2. Mood
3. Creative plot

Bad:
1. Shortness
2. Spelling
3. Inconsistent perspective (you, my)

Ugly:
1. Lack of paragraphs
2. Run-on sentences

There is no good ending

Decent for a short game.

This story a nice creepy atmosphere, and was rather fun to read. The writing was pretty good, and set the mood. The story was not really unique, and the choices always seemed limiting and bad, but of course this is a horror story, so bad decisions are pretty much the norm.

Overall, worth reading.

It was a bit scary, but I enjoyed it.

Aaaaaaaaah oh dear lord the end picture

The story is not bad, it has good atmosphere. But the pacing is weird and fast. Each scene is too small to build more robustly the error. The terror begins just after first choice, it will have been far better build that slowly and have more choices that bring a game less railroad.

There is no way to "win." Just a feeling of why did I play this if it only ends this way!?? I was disappointed. You have great potential, but I think you have relied too much on old cliches.

In my opinion, this story jumps too immediately into the "horror" aspect to be engaging or scary. Additionally, all choices ultimately lead to the same outcome. It doesn't feel like there's much "choice" involved.