Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: the Stirring of the Legendaries - Part I: The Beginning

Player Rating3.04/8

"#551 overall, #65 for 2015"
based on 111 ratings since 12/25/2015
played 1,384 times (finished 116)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

The Legendaries have awoken.
Only the human mentioned in the Prophecy can send them back into peaceful slumber... before everything in the universe collapses into a meaningless jumble of quarks.
Are you ready to save the Pokémon world... which may be more connected to the human world than you'd think?

This is Part I. I spent a lot of time on it, and if you guys like it I'll make Part II! If you don't, I won't bother. Feel free to suggest things in the comments! 

Player Comments

Wow! I sure did enjoy the choice to either continue the story or else restart it from the beginning, found on every. single. page.

This story belongs on fanfiction.net, CYS was only holding the author back.

(The actual writing was pretty decent considering the author was likely young in addition to being a newbie, and I liked that things actually happened in the story and were written out with some level of detail, but it really does feels more like someone wanted to paste over their fanfiction without bothering to add choices. Also, that title lol...at first glance I thought this was Will's parody game.
-- mizal on 11/15/2018 6:38:03 AM
I am very happy you have written this, which in many ways is a sequel to my story Pokemon Adventures, Part 1, Chapter I, Section A, The Start of the Beginning :D

Your writing style is good but the story is so linear it's not really a multiple choice adventure at all, it seems more like you are telling us a direct story. Branch out more, try not to write in parts, put in a few more characters and work on the plot development, I know Pokemon is not the most realistic thing in the world but as Bucky said the main character seems to develop rapidly for no apparent reason :)
-- Will11 on 12/26/2015 6:11:26 PM
Extremely linear. But better grammar than I expected - still not flawless. Why does Arkios go from being craven to brave without any real character development? Why didn't you address why the player character was turned into abpokemon? If you pose a story question on page one, it needs to be addressed in the story. And, no, part two doesn't count because this isn't really a complete story. Write your full story as one game, not a series of linear games. The options are so limited in scope this isn't really a CYOA in the first place. The story lacked details in key scenes, and there was a lot of telling vs. showing going on.

All of that said, the writing itself wasn't terrible for an inexperienced/young writer. Check out some writing tips and drills in the forums, and I'd be willing to hedge that you could write something decent if you took the time to plan out a true multi-path story and didn't rush.
-- Bucky on 12/26/2015 11:02:14 AM
As many others have said, its very linear.
If there were a little more choices,or the leave option was a bit different (leading to something that makes you (the "main" character) go a complete
different direction from the original games,that would of been beyond awsome.

Anyway it was very good for a new writer on this wonderful site, so yea.
-- IceBurstYT on 8/7/2019 11:31:13 PM
Great story, lengthy and rich. Better than expected grammar. Great overall.
-- BladeGenesis on 3/7/2019 3:53:28 PM
cool
-- Skitikmahah on 11/19/2018 10:17:39 AM
I think it needs more choices.
-- MusicalNerd7 on 11/14/2018 8:17:47 AM
This took waaaaaay too long to finish. I kept on having to restart or go back.
-- llllooop on 11/10/2018 11:08:41 AM
As a huge PMD fan, the descriptions were a nice trip down memory lane. Despite the terseness, I got a pretty good mental image of what was going on.

That said, the story is very linear and it mostly copies the games without doing much that's new. It feels more like a retelling of the games than a CYOA game. The pacing is also a bit fast in places.
-- Lockirby2 on 11/8/2018 9:58:42 PM
It was good!
-- Zach on 3/20/2018 4:53:56 AM
Show All Comments