Psychopathic Circus

I enjoyed the storygame overall, but it did have multiple flaws that effected my rating towards it.

There were multiple spelling and grammar errors, for example, on the very first page you spelled "blonde" as "blond."

There was an attempt to add detail, such as when you describe the characters, but not enough. I mean, just telling me the hair color and body of a person I don't know what they actually look like.

It felt very linear and illogical at many points to me, and I felt like I was reading an article from a newspaper then transitioning to a similar, but not the same article and tried to think of where the transition was.

The writing overall was really good and you have potential, keep trying and do closer proofreading please :D

3/8.

I'm pretty sure the pc's gender is never specified. That said, there are a few indicators which point towards "girl," such as referring to Cyrus as "your best guy friend."
Overall, way too short for a story, with no real plot development or adventure. There is only one "good" ending, and it features an out-of-nowhere random hookup that I guess you get as a reward for following the rules of the story.

This is a good idea, and at first i felt excited to read this story. But it seems you didn't put much thought into this and rushed through it without proofreading. On many pages there is incorrect spelling and grammar, and many situations are confusing.

The characters aren't very well described when mentioned in the beginning. In the end, one of the ways to make it out alive is to... hook up with your guy friend. Excuse me, what? Of anything, why "do the dirty" in a place that's willing to kill you? It just doesn't make sense, and i don't recommend this if you're bored. 2/8.

Alright well, this is an odd story. First off the introduction to the main characters is barebones as all get out. Secondly, the plot railroads you into going into the haunted circus you have no choice. Well in my opinion the best choice is to avoid the circus entirely with the first choice because the official ending is stupid.

So we get to the circus and you have to follow these weird rules to stay alive so you don't die. The horror was slightly unsettling because I'm not a fan of clowns remotely, but for the most part, the concept was just not executed well with the very limited description as well as not much of an existing plot.

The ending itself is what I took issue with. You're telling me the only way to survive in a horror game in this circus which the author promotes as the best ending is to hook up with your guy crush? In a horror story where one of the main tropes is you die if you do the deed this is beyond stupid.

I'm sorry but I just can't with this story. It feels cursed to even read this with the creepy clown theme and the corny ending this is a relic that should remain forgotten among the archives of low rated storygames in my personal opinion.

Rose- Tall blond, not very smart but all the guys like her.

Tyler- Tall and tan. Thick black hair that hangs near his ears. All the girls have a crush on him. Rose and Tyler are dating.

Cyrus- tall surfer blonde, also your best guy friend.

Yesh, this is absolutely the way you should introduce your characters.

I noticed a few mistakes, but other than that this was quite good. The only one that really stood out was "Very, well." It doesn't look accidental. I would appreciate it if you could fix this, even though this is a very old game.
I got all the endings, and none were too good. I was never really attached to the characters, and I didn't really feel compelled to save them. This was a large problem- none of them had personalities, backstories, anything remotely like that.
You are probably better at making story games by now, but I like reviewing and rating story games anyway. Also, in the description, please erase the 'and save your friends'. It is impossible to save them unless you leave immediately.

If it was longer, I could see this getting a perfect score. Thank you for sharing it.

Creepy, seems like you don't get the opportunity to do much before a quick ending, regardless of your decisions. But it was fun.

Good idea, but it was executed poorly.

Wow!
I really felt that I am in the story!
Good job on the idea to make this as a story.

Few notes: in every dead end you say: "play again?"
But there's only end game and not reset game so I just started on my own over and over...

I am thinking you could add more detail to the characters in this story, that don't have much detail I think.

And finally: in the maze, you could choose to kiss or not, if you kiss you won? And what happens to the other two characters before they get to the car and slept there?
I'm just want to know, if this carnival was a deadly, how they make out alive? (The other two)

I think You could improve a little more in this story.
Final rating: 5/8