Player Comments on Spy Mission
An excellent entry for the Summer Slam Contest, and arguably one of your finer works. The story was captivating with extensive branching and good use of items in innovative ways, and I managed to find 20 of the endings in all. The probability rolls were a nice touch and really added to the immersion factor.
My favourite path by far involved avoiding the spy mission altogether, where you ended up settling in another country where the agency would never find you. It was a breath of fresh air to have such a route and I'm glad you implemented this. It felt as if the real spy mission was only half of the storygame.
I found that the first chapter was a little drawn-out for some reason. There's an awful lot of sentences detailing "first you did this, then you did that, then you got out of your car" etc. However, this contrasts with the action and intrigue that follows once the plot gets rolling, so this isn't really much of a criticism.
I encountered a few bugs in the storygame, which is unsurprising considered how much scripting was involved. For example, I attempted to use my hotel keycard (in the wrong place), chose another option, and was directed back to the previous page...which forced me to return to the same page I was on.
Also, there was a section near the end where I wanted to shoot someone, only to be told that there was nobody to shoot. I guess I wasn't supposed to use the gun there, considering that the other option was to BECOME MAYOR OF THE CITY. (With a 10% success rate, no less! I don't know how I managed that.)
I didn't find a use for all the items, which explains why I may have missed a few endings, although I found great delight in randomly firing my gun at the airport and causing chaos. Also, I like that some endings were only possible if the player chose only to pick up SOME of the items available on the page. That's not something I see very often in item-heavy storygames. Taking the gun, for example, would ensure that you would never get through airport security. You had to choose to pick up every other item instead.
Now, the main criticisms. Why on earth was I chosen as a spy in the first place?
No, seriously. Why? Why is this organisation so keen to hire me? Did I miss something? My character is apparently some random guy with a crummy job with no experience of fighting or anything. Yet these agents and assassins seem so desperate to recruit me at every available opportunity. I can't even go into a coffee shop without some shady bloke turning up in a taxi and demanding that I follow him.
Even when I do accept the spy mission, the agency gives me some really limited training. Only two training sessions? How do they know I won't break under torture? What if I don't have the guts to kill someone? Isn't there a more conventional way of hiring a secret agent than randomly picking a guy at random off the streets?
What makes my character so special that I have to be singled out for this kind of thing? Did they call a lottery of every random bloke in the city or something? Man, they'd be recruiting every bum on the street at this rate.
I once read a book which was a parody of a spy thriller. It was about a guy who accidentally found himself taking upon the identity of a ruthless assassin (who had recently died), and doing so with much hilarity. This felt a bit like that, except that it apparently wasn't an accident.
Also, what's up with the airport security? I attempted to board a plane without a ticket, and they throw me in jail? How about they just deny me passage and send me back home?
How did my character get killed by three 13-year olds? I know I didn't take combat training on that route, but come on. Not only did I get beaten up by these 13-year olds, but they killed me as well?
A few other minor issues are the lack of any significant characters or relationships (I didn't know anyone's name except for that drug lord), a passage where your character guns down police and apparently feels nothing about it, and a lack of closure in some instances. I know that your writing is based more on action and plot, which is great, but some emotion and imagery wouldn't go amiss.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this storygame overall. It feels like most of the enjoyment is in discovering all of the different endings in store - pretty much every good ending involves settling down in another country. I loved exploring Prague and all the various cities you can go to.
All in all, a really well-written storygame which deserves the commendation you received for it.
on 10/11/2017 10:43:30 AM with a score of 0
It was good but rather slow, it was very confusing but at least the ending was unnexpected.
-- becky on 1/14/2021 10:15:04 AM with a score of 0
this is really boring could you make this better i found it really boring and i do not suggest this to anyone who want a really good choose yer own adventure
-- wumpy on 1/1/2021 1:31:20 PM with a score of 0
Good job. You did great. VERY well written!
-- Tristan Trotter on 11/18/2020 6:26:15 PM with a score of 0
I wish I didn't die after doing all that work and basing my answers on my stats
-- Julia on 8/14/2020 11:38:06 AM with a score of 0
This was a very exciting adventure. The only thing I didn't get was why some rando like me was sent to steal from a drug lord. That agency is gotta have some real genius right?
Also I didn't know that police chucked you off a balcony.
Everything else was great, though, and I (nearly) thoroughly enjoyed it.
on 7/6/2020 11:13:12 PM with a score of 0
I wish the agency didnt betray me
on 7/3/2020 1:53:18 AM with a score of 0
Used the story with my students during online/corona lockdown classes.
10/10 would fall off a balcony again.
on 6/22/2020 7:39:15 AM with a score of 0
I like this!! No complaints here!!
on 6/4/2020 5:39:35 AM with a score of 0
on 5/25/2020 1:12:21 AM with a score of 0
Is pretty good
-- No on 5/11/2020 7:15:42 PM with a score of 0
-- noname on 4/10/2020 2:55:31 PM with a score of 0
I liked this story, but it lacked excitement. It was fun and interesting, but it got boring that some of the paths ended in an unsatisfactory way.
-- Dakota on 1/29/2020 4:39:52 PM with a score of 0
good, but why do they have to go back to their old life? they just risked their life for that agency. you should make them get a new life with the agency, awaiting his next mission
-- spongebob12 on 1/18/2020 3:47:28 PM with a score of 0
Too many good endings. there should not be an option to go back. I got the one with teh bank and lived filthy rich. Still kudos to the designers. Hope you have a good day. If you would like to become a spy, call 425-674-1224. Bring a fully loaded gun. JK. if you call that, i dont know if it is real. they probably won't be pleased. Okay Game-KING
-- KING on 12/23/2019 10:19:11 PM with a score of 0
on 11/19/2019 8:18:16 AM with a score of 0
Its more fun than i thought it would be, i like that you can get many different endings based on what you decide. I was never bored and it kept me intrigued the whole time. Great game!
-- Matilda on 10/30/2019 9:36:06 AM with a score of 0
A really well written story, and a breath of fresh air. I like the way the notes work, aka the 35% or 70% in battles. It’s nice knowing that I possibly threaded a needle. If you enjoy a nice story, this is a nice game that uses the code element pretty well.
on 10/21/2019 10:13:21 AM with a score of 0
AMAZING GAME PLEASE MAKE MORE
-- Zach Horn on 10/3/2019 4:44:34 PM with a score of 0
-- Mining away on 9/23/2019 3:35:56 AM with a score of 0
A nice and tidy spy thriller. Too easy and to short for my tastes.
on 9/4/2019 4:53:24 PM with a score of 0
i liked this one but i haven't played it all the way through yet
on 8/19/2019 11:22:25 PM with a score of 0
I like the story, it is very entertaining and exciting to play. The story is pretty short but it's able to branches out a nice amount of options for the readers to decide. It's nice and all but there are quite a few flaws throughout the story like how the hell those three 13 year olds can beat and kill me eventhough I already took a combat training from an agent. Well, anyways it's enjoyable to play and I am comfortable to give it a 7/8.
P.S: I know this is a pretty old game and maybe right now nobody even read it but I like to give my opinions and criticize as a reader.
on 8/13/2019 2:09:54 AM with a score of 0
It was a really fun game. I had a lot of fun with it. I love spy things and choose-your-own-adventures, so put them together and BOOM! Instant awesomeness.
-- GirlNerd21 on 8/10/2019 9:10:03 AM with a score of 0
I do want more choices!
-- Louis on 7/11/2019 7:25:46 PM with a score of 0
I liked this spy mission game
-- Najma on 5/29/2019 10:36:02 AM with a score of 0
10/10 for game mechanics
9/10 for story line
9/10 for art and details
7/10 for grammar, characters, etc
I really like the game. It was nice and short with a good variety of options. I will play again for different endings. I look forward to seeing more from you :D
-- MeetaCheeta on 5/5/2019 7:16:14 PM with a score of 0
very fun and interesting story.
-- Tay on 4/8/2019 2:54:11 PM with a score of 0
Fun I got hit in the chest and died I was a rebellion.
-- Anthony on 3/20/2019 2:48:26 PM with a score of 0
on 2/18/2019 7:48:31 PM with a score of 0
it was really intresting but didnt make alot of since
-- kobe on 2/14/2019 1:31:38 PM with a score of 0
-- Walter V on 2/14/2019 1:31:35 PM with a score of 0
I really loved this game got really into it and found lots of different endings
-- Jess on 2/13/2019 3:16:50 PM with a score of 0
Just letting the writer know, I was on ending 19 and I blew up the car I never grabbed the SD card but in the ending once I got off the plane I handed two men the SD card... Just a little bug I thought you'd like to know.
-- kmoemoehoe on 2/12/2019 5:22:55 PM with a score of 0
I liked the story and it was suspicious at each moment of time I was thinking will be next!!!!
-- Pranjal on 12/18/2018 11:15:32 PM with a score of 0
This story has lots of different endings, however I think this story could have been longer. Why are some endings so dull and others exciting? I got 10 million dollars but the story ended at that. An extra few pages with a few more choices would have been more exciting.
on 12/17/2018 2:23:01 PM with a score of 0
Very good. Thoroughly enjoyed it!
-- Lynnard on 12/17/2018 12:46:27 AM with a score of 0
Again, with a different ending, the decisions were great.
on 11/15/2018 11:47:15 AM with a score of 0
I enjoyed reading this story, the decisions were very different and clichès were never used.
on 11/15/2018 11:44:30 AM with a score of 0
I give up. Got 20 endings where I either return home/ set up in another country or get shot by the police or the agency. Good game though.
-- Szy on 10/31/2018 6:56:34 PM with a score of 0
Good but hard to find a good ending. I keep getting shot by various authorities or spending the rest of my days in an apartment, on a ranch or returning back to my boring old life.
-- Szy on 10/31/2018 6:52:13 PM with a score of 0
To be honest, it's quite good. I only did it twice, with two different endings. The first ending I got was boring and gave me a bad impression of the story. (i picked the boring logical choices) But the second time it was much better. (I became a spy!) I'd highly recommend this to anyone, especially those who like reading spy novels, like me.
-- hi on 10/28/2018 4:40:12 PM with a score of 0
Amazing! Got ending #19... lots of effort!
on 10/21/2018 10:13:42 AM with a score of 0
I fun way to kill a half hour.
-- Mr. Tim Tam Flim Flam on 9/16/2018 9:46:57 PM with a score of 0
It is a short but sweet game. I would love to see a sequal.
-- DP on 8/11/2018 10:23:54 AM with a score of 0
it was awesome but the ending for me was a bit weird
-- I Read this on 8/4/2018 5:54:40 AM with a score of 0
I didn’t really like how greedy and one track minded the POV was. I did the route with an honest and open mind, didn’t betray any morals but didn’t take the obvious risks without the obtained skill set I had.. it ended abruptly and left me thinking that I wouldn’t much like to retry this story.
-- Nail on 8/3/2018 3:35:33 AM with a score of 0
BEST STORY EVER :D
-- Clover on 7/22/2018 11:22:44 PM with a score of 0
maybe it was because i didnt pick the crazy exciting choices, but it was very boring. pick the fun stuff if you play!
-- Gia Ioele on 7/13/2018 3:01:44 PM with a score of 0
-- Jaggi Bains on 6/17/2018 11:21:58 PM with a score of 0
It took a long while, but I finally did it. . .
I got the Mansion.
on 5/29/2018 8:00:07 PM with a score of 0
truly the best
on 5/23/2018 10:28:37 AM with a score of 0
cool plot but neaver bring the gun
on 5/22/2018 12:39:08 PM with a score of 0
Good, died quickly, but still good. :)
on 5/15/2018 12:35:26 PM with a score of 0
-- Damien on 5/3/2018 4:50:36 PM with a score of 0
:) You’re stories are awesome!
P.S. I can’t log on for some reason. It says “website not secure”
-- HowdyHiHello(: on 4/12/2018 11:21:05 PM with a score of 0
:) Wow, this is awesome! It should be made into a video game! This is so impressive, and it has so many paths and endings... I’ve still not found them all. Wow!
on 4/7/2018 5:05:53 PM with a score of 0
it was nice but I just chose the boring options.
-- no,i wont tell u on 4/1/2018 7:05:44 PM with a score of 0
on 3/25/2018 4:13:01 PM with a score of 0
I really wasn't drawn in to this. Maybe I should have stuck it out longer, but there didn't seem to be much in terms of character development or intriguing plot points.
-- Kim on 3/20/2018 9:29:48 PM with a score of 0
I'm chilling out on money this time hehe
on 3/1/2018 5:46:00 AM with a score of 0
Hehe lol, i finished my first mission and i get sent back home ??? Hilarious !!! But i did expect more missions to come though.
on 3/1/2018 4:18:40 AM with a score of 0
Pretty cool game with a loot of cool features that other games tend not to do 10/10 good story line and interesting plot!
-- TGB on 2/28/2018 10:35:40 AM with a score of 0
its so funny how you can just keep shooting
-- anonymous on 2/22/2018 3:12:03 AM with a score of 0
This was very fun to do. I received the good ending
-- Thunder on 2/9/2018 6:03:11 PM with a score of 0
it was scary but cool
-- Reven on 1/31/2018 1:24:40 PM with a score of 0
The only thing I disliked about it was the paragraph length. Separate them and this will be grade A!
on 1/29/2018 11:32:03 AM with a score of 0
Thanks for an exciting game that captured the essence of the spy genre. It was a fun challenge!
on 12/4/2017 1:06:26 PM with a score of 0
"Ending #25: Apartment Life
You find it quite easy to locate an apartment building with empty apartments. You simply walk into the rental office, sign a few papers, and are given a key to the apartment. Since you really didn't specify, you get an apartment on the sixth floor, with a view of a neighboring office building. You walk into the apartment and wonder what you should do next. You're now in a completely empty apartment.
You wander back downstairs and over to the grocery store, figuring you should at least buy some food. When you enter the store, you notice a person standing just inside the entrance to the grocery store, staring directly at you. You quickly turn and head out the side door and almost run around the side of the building. You look back but do not see the person following you. You run back to the apartment building and quickly head to your apartment.
You get inside and slam the door, locking it behind you. Then you notice all the windows and move so that you are not in view of any of the windows. There are no blinds or drapes, so you cannot cover them, but there is a room that has no windows, so you can slip into that room and stay out of sight. You sit down on the floor in that empty room, panting. You are relieved when no one appears to pound on your door.
A bit later you notice that it is getting dark outside. Apparently you have spent some time in the room. You think that you might be able to slip out in the cover of darkness and get some food, so you head down the stairs of the apartment building and sneak across the street again. You carefully check the same location and you do not see anyone there watching you this time. You wander through the store, picking up simple, ready-to-eat items.
As you step out of the store, you think you see someone in the shadows at the corner watching you. You take off at a run and almost get hit by a car crossing the street. You run up the stairs to your apartment and again slam the door behind you. You sit down in the dark room away from the windows and dig into your food, wondering if this will be your last meal. Apparently the agency has spotted you, and they are just waiting to catch you. Well if you stay in this room, they won't be able to pick you up off the street, will they?
And so goes your life. You live happily ever after hiding in the back room of a rather nice sixth-floor apartment in Bern with occasional trips in the darkness to the store across the street for food. Congratulations."
Well, the last word seem to indicate that this is a good ending. With 28 possible endings available, I cannot help but feel the need to share a couple endings in the comments. ;) 8/8 for this game! =)
on 12/4/2017 12:35:03 AM with a score of 0
thats a magick experiance I really like it
-- brendon on 11/29/2017 1:24:42 PM with a score of 0
It was like a spy mission
on 11/27/2017 3:43:13 PM with a score of 0
well written and fun
on 11/23/2017 5:22:05 PM with a score of 0
This is the first time I've played this game / read this story, and it's short and sweet (Well, probably cos I clicked the return home option :) Thank you for making this game/story
on 11/12/2017 4:38:00 PM with a score of 0
I like it but got locked in jail quickly
on 10/13/2017 6:09:16 AM with a score of 0
very detailed and lots of options! awesome work.
on 10/12/2017 4:30:25 PM with a score of 0
Eh, this was pretty underwhelming to be honest. The mechanisms are well done, but the plot itself lacks suspense and gets boring very quickly. The protagonist's choices are also illogical, and his thought process is poorly explained. 3/8
on 9/28/2017 3:52:49 AM with a score of 0
on 9/25/2017 1:33:38 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it, but it demonstrates pretty well how shit my luck is.
80% to succeed yet I die in a fireball during my first mission.
on 9/20/2017 8:14:02 PM with a score of 0
It can get too descriptive at times with details that aren't relevant to the story. Other than that, it is good. 5/8
on 9/17/2017 5:53:43 PM with a score of 0
I really like this game! Had a lot of fun and would love to see the concept flushed out even more.
on 9/16/2017 3:49:28 AM with a score of 0
Fun stuff! Well done!
on 9/12/2017 7:18:36 PM with a score of 0
Another fantastic choose your own adventure game by a great writer showing what multiple choices are all about :D Good use of Items and Variables and excellent writing throughout :) Happy to see more good stories on the site again.
on 9/12/2017 4:43:15 AM with a score of 0