The Ballad of the Orchard

Player Rating5.40/8

"#192 overall, #19 for 2016"
based on 125 ratings since 12/13/2016
played 1,639 times (finished 153)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level2/8

"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.

The goddess of an orchard has been alone with only trees for company for the last thousand years. Then one day, a little boy comes to her orchard. There is one true ending, you'll know when you find it because it says "true ending."

Player Comments

This was very heart-wrenching. I must admit that I had some skepticism about a cyoa inspired ballad, but this has certainly exceeded my expectations. There was quite a bit of strong imagery involved, and you did well in painting a picture with your words.

I think that the length was fine in getting it's point across, as I couldn't help but feel a bit emotional towards the end, but getting the true end did help in making this a bit more bittersweet :)

This poem is definitely one of my favorites that I have had the pleasure of reading on this site. I wouldn't mind reading more content from you, be it another ballad, or a storygame.
-- TharaApples on 12/13/2016 8:24:40 PM with a score of 0
This certainly brings my ballad to shame.

It's very poetic, very beautiful, very heart-wrenching, has very good imagery at the right places, and contains a lovely message (I felt like there was one, but I don't know if that was your intention). The rhymes are very good, and the lines ran smoothly in my mind and from my mouth.

My only suggestion is to include parahymes to show conflict or whatever dissonance there is through form, though honestly I like it better with normal rhymes.

This is so much better than many of the storygames here, as well as most of the poems I've ever read. This is a wonderful CYOA ballad!
-- Crescentstar on 12/13/2016 4:53:16 PM with a score of 0
I thought this was a really nice story. I really enjoyed that it rhymed.
-- Faervel on 12/5/2018 9:27:42 AM with a score of 0
it was really sad but beautifully simple.
-- cubecoyote on 11/4/2018 11:00:11 PM with a score of 0
the feels
-- Marneptunez on 2/2/2018 3:49:47 PM with a score of 0
My heart wasn’t totally okay with this- it was too darn sad- but I loved it. The way it was done and all that added to the angst and... ahh, sad but wonderful.
-- Spedestrian on 12/16/2017 9:41:38 PM with a score of 0
My favorite entry. Sad, but very well written. 8/8
-- Nyctophilia on 8/30/2017 10:01:32 PM with a score of 0
A truly beauteous masterpiece! 8/8
-- LilytheMoonCat on 7/14/2017 8:45:47 PM with a score of 0
I loved the poetry and emotion in this story!
-- cherie_m101 on 7/5/2017 7:28:35 PM with a score of 0
I reached the true ending after three tries, and it was beautiful! Very touching for such a short story. The ballad ran very smoothly for the most part, too. Excellent job.
-- PhantomStylus on 5/23/2017 4:46:17 PM with a score of 0
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